This is for all you older people who are succesful and would like to give us younger people tips of life. Everyone knows you never listen to your parents but if you hear it from a stranger who carries the same interests as you that is a whole different story.

anyways post anything you would like. I have came up with one for myself don't ever pull pranks in school or ever.

It cost me a pretty good paying job. all because I always picked on this guys grandchild.

Well thanks for your advice

Theres other jobs, but this gives you a good excuse to really beat the crap out of his grandchild now.

A job is just a job. Live life to the max and start drinking heavily ! :D :D

<font color="plum">Geez, that's too bad, <font color="skyblue">Loumistro</font>.

One of my BEST pranks came in my second year of college and was directed at my Science teacher. That was MANY years ago, and it still brings a smile to my face.

My advice, Love your enemy.....that will REALLY make them worry :D
</font>

<font color=Orange>Mind sharing what you did, Cerek?</font>

Horatio's Never Ever List

Never, EVER think that liquid nitrogen can be used to remove hemoroids.

Never, EVER place a bet on a team that is sure to win. It doesn't, purely to spite you.

Never, EVER try on a thong because you're 'curious'. I had the marks where the elastic had dug in for a week.

Never, EVER make up a theory about understanding women. Nuf said.

Never, EVER do anything wrong in a relationship with a woman. She'll only throw it back in your face when you complain that she's been seeing an awful lot of that guy that runs the video store.

Ya I would like to know what you did too. This could be interesting maybe I won't give up my pranks.

Well I will tell what I did to the kid. Just about every detail that I did.

First of all he has this wierd looking thing he does well it has to do with the way he walks. First I started off with the classic wedgy. only I put his feet in his underwear. Then I dragged him by his arms. He got up and wanted to fight so I pinned him to a fence and he got down when his shirt ripped.

Also I pulled a funny prank on a teacher pretty much a classic. I took her grade book while she wasn't looking and I put it in someone elses book bag who was sitting next to me. Well I got away with it.

Good job Lou! But now you need to give him a swirly. Thats when you shove his head in a dirty public toilet (like at school) and flush it. [img]smile.gif[/img]

My tips:

Live every day as if it were your last

Regret nothing

You are responsible for your own feelings

Laugh a lot

Fear & Excitement are 2 sides of the same coin

If you want to do something, do it

Be honest

Don't worry about minor shit

Oh and... have a beer!!!!

I have one piece of advice: "Relax, take life easy."

ok... 3 words of advice:

1: Resize that signature picture... it's too big...
http://members.lycos.co.uk/th8or/GAG...AHOI423424.jpg
use this one instead...
the URL is
http://members.lycos.co.uk/th8or/GAG...AHOI423424.jpg

2: Keep Breathing as long as you can

3: Never ask how a hotdog is made... EVER...

The last word of advice is in my sig...

<font color="white">[i]Through Sound and motion, you will be able to Paralyze Nerves, Shatter Bones, Start Fires, Suffocate an Enemy or Burst his Organs...</font> -Dune</font>

#1 Remember , polite conversations are rarely either.

#2 Never take advice from someone less succesfull than yourself.

<font color="plum">Well, since you asked, how could I refuse.

Cerek's Prank.

My first year in college, I had a female science teacher that was very prejudiced against guys. She even went so far as to say "No guy will EVER make an A in my class, they're just not smart enough."

She and I had a personal exchange one day in the middle of class. She made a deragotory comment about me to another teacher in front of the class. Well, that was too much, :mad: so I made a snide comment myself and the matter died down there, for awhile.

At the end of the semester, she told me I had 2 grades missing from labs we had done during the year. I had missed a lab or two, but not the two she left open, so I knew she had done it just to spite me. She said I would have to "bring the papers to her to prove that I did them." I went down to the library and found a guy in her other science class. I asked if he had Lab#13 or #15 (the two that I was "missing"). He didn't, but he said he had Lab#11.

I said, "That'll work, may I borrow it for a moment."
"Sure, here you go".

I took his lab. I erased his name and wrote mine down. I then erased the #11 and wrote #13. Then I headed for the science class. I walked in and stopped about 6 ft away from the teachers desk (close enough for her to read the number and see the "check" mark, but not close enough to notice the erasing). She said "Fine" and put a check by my name for Lab#13.

I looked her right in the eye and said "I'll be right back with Lab#15".

I couldn't believe she didn't catch on. I was about as blantant as I could be with it, and she never said a word.

OK, that may sound a little "lame" to some of you, but it was mainly my way of showing how much I DIS-respected this teacher - which was VERY "out-of-character" for me. I once spoke to her 30 minutes before class so that she would KNOW I was skipping her class.

Buuut, if you had hoped for something a little more exciting....the following year, I met the guy that would be my roommate later on. He had a similar experience with the same teacher and we decided to pull a really good prank on her.

He had a fake rubber hand that his dog used as a "chew toy". We went to his house to get the hand, applied a liberal amount of "Vampire Blood", wrapped it in a paper towel from the bathroom, and stuck it in the wide drawer under her desk. I placed it so that the towel would "open" when the drawer was pulled out.

Unfortunately, her class assistant was the one to find it, but my roommate and I were told that there WAS a good deal of screaming involved when it was discovered. :D

Like I said, we still laugh about that to this day.</font>

Never put off until tomorrow what you can put off till the day after.

Never stand when you can lean.
Never lean when you can sit
never sit when you can lie down

Never, Never, Never in any circumstances have a pee immediately after chopping chillies! Never - you hear me?

Never beat the crap out of a cop while hes on duty and has a partner with him. The partner will procede to beat you about the head and shoulders with a blunt object. As far as that goes it doesnt pay to even be smart to a cop. The Warning he was going to give you just got turned into a ticket.

Never go to the airport and tell one of the security gaurds ( after he asks whats in your bags) "Thirty-two kilos of plastic explosives"

That will go over like a lead balloon.

NEVER tell your girlfriend you think she looks good with her fingernails all black> She will immediately accuse you of slamming the car door on her hand on purpose.

Dont count on Troy Aikmen, Darrel Johnston, and Micheal Irvin to come out of retirement so the Cowboys can win another Super Bowl. Even if they came out of retirement the Cowboys wont win another one as long as Jerry Jones owns the team.

Never punt a 16 pound bowling ball. Trust me it HURTS!!!!!!!

If a woman asks you if you like her hair ALWAYS say yes no matter what you really think.

If a woman asks you what age you think she is just think of a number and take 10 off.

Ya I think I will do that in a couple of days when I see him at the local Pool or something.

And Cerek that was one good prank I am going to try to match one day.

Oh ya and thanks for resizing my picture for me. I was going to do that but I forgot.

Thanks.

[ 07-04-2002, 05:55 PM: Message edited by: Loumistro ]

:D problem...

Ok another word of advice:

4. If anyone asks you if you're a god, say YES!

Believe it or not your parents want the best for you and know what they're talking about, they've had the expereince.
You may think you know everything, but trust me, you know jack s**t
Education is knowledge, knowledge is power and power is money.
You always have a boss, no matter who you are.
Always wear clean underwear
Never take advice for someone more screwed up than you.
The FINAL rule. Everyone is more screwed up than you.

The words of someone who dosn't proclame themselves an expert on everything often carry more weight.

Never enter a limited partnership expending personal capitol without a detailed fudishary report. "Woody's Dad"

Never buy sex toys from a shop that has a liberal return policy.

Do one thing every day to scare the person your stalking

Lie. The FBI is watching you. MacDonalds has your face in its database, they also have chips in your french fries. The FBI has a giant database with all your information. For instance those Ricci martin CD's you bought last week, now they know your gay. If we all lie together we can put a huge monkeywrench in their work :D

ALWAYS check when people tell you to milk that cow, that it is a cow.

Never go to Toronto.

Dont play baseball drunk.

Never take advise.

Never give advise. (Oh S**T)

Mooning politicians is fun. Mooning police is stupid, unless you are far away to escape.

They are on the top of my advice list there are more, but they get more and more useless as they go.

These are pretty funny. You guys got the right Idea Keep it up.