|
shit
do things for your loved one gets on her nerve? order food/drink for her, "cats will get along" "dont forget to feed the rabbit" etc etc, this makes one sick? what the ■■■■? so what should I do? you cannot be indifferent, you cannot be too caring neither! so what is a line that one shouldn't cross? HOW THE HELL IN THE WORLD do I know if I am suffocating someone with attention/caring ??? women, JESUS!!!! |
So, what's your question, Potty Mouth?
------------------ "I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I'm not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant." -Robert McCloskey http://www.wizardrealm.com/images/hs2.gif http://www.ironworksforum.com/ubb/no...lil-ribbon.gif <UL TYPE=SQUARE> <LI>Token lackwit of HADB <LI>Sycophant to the Wolf of Azure Hue <LI>Long lost brother of DragonMage <LI>Bearer of a work of art created by Sazerac <LI>Jeg burde blive gennembanket for min flatulens.[/list] |
Damned if you do and damned if you dont. Never ending circle of
give and take http://www.ironworksforum.com/ubb/no...es/biggrin.gif ------------------ The Ruby Rouge of the ALSB http://www.angelfire.com/mi4/hclark50/B1.gif Official Slayer of Pest's in Cloudy's Kitchen Blessed is the Warlock Advisor to the Lady Lioness for Kitchen raid's and such... |
Quote:
I'm sorry to hear it, 250 - it's different for all women. My boyfriend is a bit like this - very caring, and he is always very concerned about me. Sometimes I do tell him to stop acting like my mother http://www.ironworksforum.com/ubb/no...miles/wink.gif ("did you do this, honey? Don't forget to do that, honey" http://www.ironworksforum.com/ubb/no...es/biggrin.gif) but I would never ever trade him in for someone less fussy - I think he's wonderful!! http://www.ironworksforum.com/ubb/no...iles/smile.gif So unless she's REALLY annoyed I think your caring attitude is quite sweet. http://www.ironworksforum.com/ubb/no...iles/smile.gif ------------------ Melusine, Sultry Elflet, High Queen of Fluffies, Archbabe of the OHF, LH, HADB and ORT! http://www.angelfire.com/anime2/memnoch/mel1.gif Your voice is ambrosia Amy Brown Fantasy Art |
ahhhh... well I know the answer to that but I'll get in BIG trouble with the women in this forum! it's a secret! http://www.ironworksforum.com/ubb/no...miles/wink.gif
------------------ http://imagehosting.bidbay.com/image.php3?imgID=505256 Did someone mentioned a webcomic? Realm of Warlock's Art The Host of Sigs - who's your daddy now? I bow to Ziroc the grand master! I shall never mock Choc again! [This message has been edited by adam warlock (edited 10-29-2001).] |
It makes it all more interresting tofiffie
Else it'll only get boring, fun but boring nevertheless ------------------ http://www.phpshop.net/images/rikard/rikard2.gif |
Quote:
Like walkin in the rain and the snow... ------------------ "I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I'm not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant." -Robert McCloskey http://www.wizardrealm.com/images/hs2.gif http://www.ironworksforum.com/ubb/no...lil-ribbon.gif <UL TYPE=SQUARE> <LI>Token lackwit of HADB <LI>Sycophant to the Wolf of Azure Hue <LI>Long lost brother of DragonMage <LI>Bearer of a work of art created by Sazerac <LI>Jeg burde blive gennembanket for min flatulens.[/list] |
so what do I do??? whats the line goddamnit!!??
Melusine, you are so right! http://www.ironworksforum.com/ubb/no...les/crying.gif so whats the secret? grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr sigh... I suppose I am to use "good judgement"? I just visited her this weekend for her birthday, a surprise, gave her the rabbit (by the way, Melusine, it was a black minilop, SOOOOOOOO cute) she loved it, we had a gorgeous time then when I get back, she was all upset because I told her don't forget to give the rabbit water. and she told me I've been repeatedly feeding her (meaning taking care of her way too much) so what the heck?? woman!!! I FLEW FROM ST.LOUIS TO SAN FRANCISCO JUST TO SEE YOU!!! JESUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
Quote:
That rabbit sounds incredibly CUTE - wow!! I'm glad she liked it, and that you guys had such a good time! And yes, you said it yourself...good judgement, that's the best I can give you http://www.ironworksforum.com/ubb/no...iles/frown.gif Sorry... Anyway I think it'll all work out fine as long a you don't smother her and as long as she appreciates how caring you are to her. http://www.ironworksforum.com/ubb/no...iles/smile.gif ------------------ Melusine, Sultry Elflet, High Queen of Fluffies, Archbabe of the OHF, LH, HADB and ORT! http://www.angelfire.com/anime2/memnoch/mel1.gif Your voice is ambrosia Amy Brown Fantasy Art |
Quote:
------------------ http://www.ironworksforum.com/ubb/no.../KungFuGal.gif http://www.wizardrealm.com/images/wenzek.gif |
It's quite possible she's nervous about all the attention she's getting. Did she have a bad previous relationship perhaps (no need to post details here)?
Is she self-conscious about herself, perhaps? Personally I don't see what you've done wrong but there may be extenuating circumstances Tell her she deserves all the attention you give her and she should never settle for anything less ~hint from old Smoothie here~ ------------------ Lord Raptor's Site http://www.wizardrealm.com/images/LordShield.jpg Ironworks Dark General BG2 Tavern Keeper King of Pointlessness Dark Arch-Stud of the ORT |
thanks Melusine, a lot, you've been so nice to me http://www.ironworksforum.com/ubb/no...les/crying.gif
I don't know what to do anymore. I feel so hurt because with all the things I did, she still got upset. should I be the one to grow up? she told me "everyone is feeding me, why cannot they see I can do things myself?" but what are the things to be too much? and what are the things to be OK? ok, exactly what happened was Last night, she told me I've been taking care her too repeatedly. I am like her friends, whom should back the ■■■■ off. (ok, she wasn't happy about this, so she swore, but not to me) I felt kind hurt, and I acted like it. she thought she should just shut up and never to talk about her feelings because whenever she does, people get upset. so, the big deal is... I am confused as hell, what should I do?? I mean, we can both be right, so what can I do to make things BETTER? anyone has experiences in this? of course, you all must have experienced been taken care of too much, but HOW do you solve the problem? thank you for reading, I am not sure if I am making any sense....sigh |
Quote:
I am surprised!! hey, dude, you hit the mark perfectly she had ... a hellish previous relationship... I dont know with her stepfather or ex-boyfriend. the thing is, I dont know the details, but I DO know something bad happened anywayz, anywayz, thats SOOO true! I should tell her she deserves all the attentions she is getting and ahem, she is VERY nervous about being cared for, (I think it hurts her feeling that someone loves her) she is self-concious? what does that mean? thank you, Lord Shield, awesome! more hints please! |
self-conscious might refer to somebody who's wary of how they look or something. Sounds like that's not the case here
She's scared of close contact with people then because of her previous hassle But I doubt she wants it to end really though. Otherwise she'd have told you what she told her friends Wish there was an easy answer, but those sort of things take time to get over. ------------------ Lord Raptor's Site http://www.wizardrealm.com/images/LordShield.jpg Ironworks Dark General BG2 Tavern Keeper King of Pointlessness Dark Arch-Stud of the ORT |
Quote:
Have you tried explaining to her that you can't help caring about her because you love her? Maybe you do need to try to be a little less concerned about her - it will show to her that you DO believe she can take care of herself. http://www.ironworksforum.com/ubb/no...iles/smile.gif ------------------ Melusine, Sultry Elflet, High Queen of Fluffies, Archbabe of the OHF, LH, HADB and ORT! http://www.angelfire.com/anime2/memnoch/mel1.gif Your voice is ambrosia Amy Brown Fantasy Art |
I'm not qualified to answer this, I've only been married twice! I think I'll need to be married a few more times before I have a true understanding of women.
Just Kidding! I have been happily married for nearly 7 years, and my wife is great. The problem is men need to be told what women want. If your unsure, ask her! Guys say, I need this, this and this from you ok? Women say why didn't you do this, this or this for me? Guys are SLOW! We need to have things explained to us. If women tell us what they want we usually break our necks to do it, but we usually can't figure it out on our own. Don't be afraid of pampering her if she wants it,and it's ok with you. If she wants more than you're comfortable with giving you should tell her. Personally, I hate the, "honey, can you come here for a minute." She watching TV in one room and I'm doing something in another room. She wants to tell me something, but doesn't want to get up http://www.ironworksforum.com/ubb/no.../angryfire.gif ------------------ http://www.wizardrealm.com/images/rb.gif http://www.usflag.org/animate/flagwave1.gif "Your right to swing your fist ends where my nose begins." |
Does it seem like you are putting in more effort then she is? If so, I think you should back off. Make her work for the relationship for awhile. See how much it means to her. You know that saying, "if you love something set it free..."? I believe that completely. It has to be a team effort. Back off a bit and let her do her part and see what she does. Just don't let yourself get whipped. There is a big difference between caring for someone and being whipped on them.
------------------ "The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his." -General George Patton (1885-1945) http://www.asnsoup.com/milamberanim4.gif Member of CLAN HADB |
The idea of always "hurting the one you love" is one of the world's most toughest paradoxes.
But the problem is looking for the solution. Because there isn't an obvious one, and its not one that you can say aloud either.http://www.ironworksforum.com/ubb/no...miles/wink.gif ------------------ http://www.gis.net/~yos/lichwah.gif http://www.btinternet.com/~GWah2/mygreetings01.gif http://www.btinternet.com/~GWah2/myname001.gif http://www.btinternet.com/~GWah2/finalarch.gif |
Come here 250! Conan pulls him from the scene. What are you doing.. Be confident in yourself and know that the little things do matter http://www.ironworksforum.com/ubb/no...iles/smile.gif You just have to find out what is liked. Watch for those subtle moves and comments. You will find out what they are!
------------------ http://www.ironworksforum.com/ubb/no...es/portal3.jpg *\Conan/* |
Milamber has a point. Do you give her flowers every day (or other gifts)? (extreme example I know) - that sort of thing can be deemed smothering
flowers/gifts once in a while seem more special ------------------ Lord Raptor's Site http://www.wizardrealm.com/images/LordShield.jpg Ironworks Dark General BG2 Tavern Keeper King of Pointlessness Dark Arch-Stud of the ORT |
Quote:
For each man kills the thing he loves By each let this be heard Some do it with a bitter look, Some with a flattering word The coward does it with a kiss The brave man with a sword Oscar Wilde Sorry - just had to post that http://www.ironworksforum.com/ubb/no...iles/smile.gif ------------------ Melusine, Sultry Elflet, High Queen of Fluffies, Archbabe of the OHF, LH, HADB and ORT! http://www.angelfire.com/anime2/memnoch/mel1.gif Your voice is ambrosia Amy Brown Fantasy Art |
Quote:
<ul>[*]The border of independence[*]The border of concern[*]The border of neglect[/list] They came up in a psychology lesson. Perhaps it is a balance between the three, or two or maybe even one. Like I said - there is no correct answer. "How much neglect is independence?" "How much independence becomes neglect?" I hope that through time, it has become a bond strong enough to determine these answers without words. And that's the answer that you're looking for.http://www.ironworksforum.com/ubb/no...iles/smile.gif ------------------ http://www.gis.net/~yos/lichwah.gif http://www.btinternet.com/~GWah2/mygreetings01.gif http://www.btinternet.com/~GWah2/myname001.gif http://www.btinternet.com/~GWah2/finalarch.gif |
Quote:
because she DOES think people around her fuss her over too much (for some reason) then she once told me "so you are just like everyone else?" she also said "I feel like I have no friends, that people are with me for some reason, they want to learn something, they are using me." I see, so if I care about her, that will make her think I am "just like everyone else" I will be less concerned about her then... heh, this is the second time I've been told to stop. first is to hold my love in check, now is my caring... whats next? Thank you, Melusine... sigh she IS scared of close contact... I thought things improved when we were at the bart station... ok, same old words then "back off" one last question: should I tell her she deserves to be cared for? or should I just back off? |
Quote:
There's also something similiar in Shakespeare's tragedies - dunno which one. Actually I shouldn've said this, because good old Shakespeare's "all spices". (I'm just Salt or Pepperhttp://www.ironworksforum.com/ubb/no...es/biggrin.gif) ------------------ http://www.gis.net/~yos/lichwah.gif http://www.btinternet.com/~GWah2/mygreetings01.gif http://www.btinternet.com/~GWah2/myname001.gif http://www.btinternet.com/~GWah2/finalarch.gif |
God, I don't want to sound insensative to the problem, believe me, but it sounds like she has some social issues. Give her a little bit of space. It sounds like that's what she wants. Who knows, maybe if she's left reasonably alone she may realize that she does need someone to be close with.
------------------ "The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his." -General George Patton (1885-1945) http://www.asnsoup.com/milamberanim4.gif Member of CLAN HADB |
ladies, guys, thank you for all your comments, I am gonna say this to her, any suggestions?
"ok, so, I know that people have given you too much attention, had cared you too much. But you know, if change you to anyone else, that girl would be so happy, know what that means? that means it is YOUR problem, so deal with it, I am outa here, damn you woman! all idiots!" lol, rofl, just kidding, I have to give myself a good laugh, sorry, Melusine and other female members, I meant no offense, everyone is different http://www.ironworksforum.com/ubb/no...es/biggrin.gif |
Quote:
"Sorry, honey, I didn't mean to crowd you - it's just that I love you so much" would be my wording It's hard to say what else you can do though. You obviously don't want to push her away ------------------ Lord Raptor's Site http://www.wizardrealm.com/images/LordShield.jpg Ironworks Dark General BG2 Tavern Keeper King of Pointlessness Dark Arch-Stud of the ORT |
Quote:
alright, I will not care about her whatsoever.... grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr http://www.ironworksforum.com/ubb/no.../angryfire.gif what is a freaking "good judgment"!!!!!??? |
I think everyone has given 250 lots of good advice to think about, just to add my two cents in just be yourself dude. I mean bend a bit here and there but if someone doesnt like the things that make you "you" then oh well ■■■■'em. They have to bend a bit too!
Hiram and LadyZ, thanks for getting that stupid song in my head, if I actually had a 10cc cd I would smash it right now. Yea yea "think she wants to break up, instead she wants to make up" BLAHHHHHHH thanks a lot! http://www.ironworksforum.com/ubb/no...les/tongue.gif |
Quote:
Is it growing now? ------------------ "The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his." -General George Patton (1885-1945) http://www.asnsoup.com/milamberanim4.gif Member of CLAN HADB |
Quote:
and you are damn right, the one that doesnt want to waste time on you is not worth your time, got to show her that too! however, I also heard that one shouldn't give up a relationship that easy, it is just simply not responsible or courageous. I mean, if I back out on her, it will only further prove her belief on "I am not worthy" ofc it is not my problem, but since I care so much about her, I think I have to help back out doesnt equal to back off, btw |
Quote:
Cloudy ------------------ http://www.wizardrealm.com/images/bestow2.gif http://www.wizardrealm.com/images/cloudy.gif Raindancer of the Laughing Hyenas Clan CloudDragon of the OHF Storm-Queen Raven's Cloud StormCloud of the Black Knight: Heart Mind Soul Forever "To sleep, perchance to dream..." |
Quote:
thats when I was first told to back off, I did exactly that. then things just stimulate between me and her, and I thought she is all over with her problems and ready to accept me... then this crap... jesus |
Hey 250, I didnt really mean for you to go and tell her to f*ck off, I'm all for your trying to make it work. I guess my point is if things dont work now, will they work in a few years and are you willing to change/bend that much? I know from here on the boards your a stubborn kinda guy http://www.ironworksforum.com/ubb/no...iles/smile.gif and I guess I'm that way too http://www.ironworksforum.com/ubb/no...iles/smile.gifBut walking on eggshells trying not to break any is impossible,eh? Well I think so anyway.
|
Quote:
thank you bro, you are right, I am stubbon, and you too, hardly a bad thing http://www.ironworksforum.com/ubb/no...miles/wink.gif |
hey 250,
for some wierd reason or not, i think we are going through the same problem right now... i having a pretty hard time with my own relationship right now and i do feel to share you my own experience recently... i trying (very patiently trying) to court this girl right now (im in first year college btw). we have been friends before and i fell in love with her two years ago (althogh something happened and had to end before it even started) , but i got over it. but when we met again in college, i fell back in love with her. http://www.ironworksforum.com/ubb/no...iles/frown.gif http://www.ironworksforum.com/ubb/no...iles/frown.gif http://www.ironworksforum.com/ubb/no...iles/frown.gif. right now im trying to talk to her but always she doesnt have the "time" and "energy". i know that she is having famliy problems (big ones) and broken up with a guy before ( i know that one too because she confided that with me as a friend (and i backed off then since i respected the girl and the guy and dont want to butt into a relationship). since im kinda more mature now, when i look at it, it still hurts for me to even push through with the realtionship. reasons: 1. she doesnt have time to even talk on the phone at night time 2. i feel its a one sided realtioship since she doesnt respond to my messages 3. i hardly get to meet her like only once a week because of our conflicting schedules 4. she admits that "i may try but we will never know the answer for a while" 5. i dont know if she aviods me purposely or not in love reason to continue the relationship: 1. im her friend 2. she is having a hard time in her life right now that i feel that its not her fault that the relationship its not working out 3. i like (love?) her personal conclusion: 1. maybe she doenst want a realtionship so she will not get hurt if something happens 2. maybe she is afraid to take that path again since she has been hurt already 3. i dont know what else... 4. help? here is my own experiences 250, maybe you might get something from it http://www.ironworksforum.com/ubb/no...iles/smile.gif ------------------ Revived I Am to hunt this world... Banish ye evil or face my wrath... |
bro, we are different
all I can say is something I figured out on my own: you must be able to live with yourself, I mean, both emotionally and physically. dont feel like "oh my god, I cannot live with out her" if you do, you are gonna have problems. that is all I can say so, she may not want a relationship, I guess if you still want her, you must keep a distance until she comes out of the shadow in her own time. good luck (to both of us) |
AMEN!!!!
------------------ Revived I Am to hunt this world... Banish ye evil or face my wrath... |
Hey 250, whenever you're with her, remember two words than guys live by..
Laid. Back. Not just the first word mind..http://www.ironworksforum.com/ubb/no...es/biggrin.gif http://www.ironworksforum.com/ubb/no...les/tongue.gif ------------------ No-Name Face |
Quote:
how much do you think is really "laid back"? I mean, when I am ACTUALLY WITH HER, everything works out perfect... or maybe she doesnt mention it but when we are on internet... geez... sometimes it can get real ugly... (ofc, I always obey principle number1: delay anger) |
| All times are GMT -4. The time now is 07:14 PM. |
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.3
Copyright ©2000 - 2025, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
©2024 Ironworks Gaming & ©2024 The Great Escape Studios TM - All Rights Reserved