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<font color="white">Catchy little title phrase, isn't ithttp://www.ironworksforum.com/ubb/no...miles/rand.gif http://www.ironworksforum.com/ubb/no...es/biggrin.gif</font>
<Font color="gold"> Ok, Inspired by my previous topic, I would like to ask the question... Is my wife lying, by saying that she does not find any other male on this planet attractive? Is she really keeping her mariage vows, and not even looking at other men with the least bit of desire? I know that I <u>do</u> find other ladies atractive, and I cannot help that, but when I asked her if she did(to justify my feelings), she said that she never looked at other guys. How can that be possible? Are there any of you women here that can relate or disspute this? Are there any men on here that only has eyes for your own? Please be honest, as I am feeling like dirt, and need some sort of proof that I am not a bad husband. Help!!!!</font> ------------------ http://members.aol.com/lasttrueprinc...ges/larry2.gif Devoted member of the Ironworks Loyal guardian of the OHF Member of the Ancients' club Faith beset in The Rocks (they show the way, you know...:D) |
I think that it is only natural to find other women attractive ... Just as long as you don't act on those feelings.
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Everyone lies now and then, so don't bother. And from my opinion: i think she's definitely lying. There must be other men on this planet which she finds attractive... How could she know: like she ever met the 4 billion men that walk around on this world????
------------------ In the foul darkness one figure will emerge to save the world from evil and despair.... Light flashes as his sword comes down, and thunder rolls through the sky when he points his sword up to heaven to signal his victory....People whisper his name as he walks by, evil tries to hide as they sense his presence nearby.... His name? Link...... |
She's lying. There's no way she doesn't find other men attracive. She might not think they are as attractive as you...but there's no way she doesn't think they're attractive.
If she doesn't find any other of the billions of men in this world attractive, you married a lesbian nun. ------------------ "The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his." -General George Patton (1885-1945) http://www.asnsoup.com/milamberanim3.gif Member of CLAN HADB |
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------------------ http://members.aol.com/lasttrueprinc...ges/larry2.gif Devoted member of the Ironworks Loyal guardian of the OHF Member of the Ancients' club Faith beset in The Rocks (they show the way, you know...:D) |
Wow....this really reminds me of my best friend's situation.
She has been together with her ex for about four years, and unfortunately, she was extremely, almost pathologically, jealous. She did try hard not to be a nag and her boyfriend told her a million times he did not think any other woman on the world beautiful. He said he never even looked at another woman, let alone find her attractive. Still, my friend couldn't help herself from getting paranoid and she kept asking him about it. In the end I told her he was lying because it would be impossible for a guy never to even like the sight of another woman (even when you're only attracted to your partner, don't you find other women aesthetically pleasing to look at??). We then realised her paranoia sprung for a large deal from her subconscious knowledge that he wasn't speaking the truth. Instinctively she knew he must find other women attractive and the reason for her jealousy spells was the question she subconsciously asked herself: "What does he have to hide that he has to tell me this lie?" Not sure if that will help...it just struck me as the same thing. I wouldn't say your wife is LYING, exactly. I can imagine that she just has feelings for you only and, because she can only feel real attraction to the man she loves, does not find other men attractive (my boyfriend is an example of this, and I don't feel like a bad girlfriend for being attracted to other men, as long as it's only that, superficial attraction that I will forget as soon as the guy leaves my sight.) I don't believe, however, that your wife truly does not find any other man good-looking. ------------------ Melusine, High Queen of Fluffies, Archbabe of the OHF, the LH, the HADB and the SPAE(Society for the Prevention of Acronym Extinction) & Official Entertainer Elf of the BG2 Bar http://www.angelfire.com/anime2/memnoch/mel1.gif Your voice is ambrosia Amy Brown Fantasy Art |
I know I look at other women and find them attractive, and I most certainly know my wife does/did http://www.ironworksforum.com/ubb/no...iles/frown.gif .....the point being that if your wife does not find anyone else attractive I would buy her a pair of glasses, she obviously needs them http://www.ironworksforum.com/ubb/no...es/biggrin.gif
One way to find out is ask one of her girlfriends, women (& men) talk about this all the time to each other and then go home and say "I only have eyes for you" sheesh what a load! ------------------ http://www.bestanimations.com/fantas.../dragon-04.gif Never try to teach a pig to sing; it wastes your time and it annoys the pig I've got to admit it's getting better, it's getting better all the time |
Just out of curiosity, why ask this question? What would one hope to gain from either answer, if neither one will give satisfaction?
It's like a girlfriend asking her boyfriend, "Do you think she's prettier than I am?" when watching Pamela Anderson on TV. The poor boyfriend is dead in the water; no matter which way he answers, yes or no, he's done for. If he answers "yes", he's DEAD (LOL) and if he answers "no", he's branded a liar. Of course, better to be a liar than dead, so most will answer "no"; in which case it starts a 4 hour + discussion on WHY the girlfriend isn't prettier than Ms. Anderson, including an cross-examination of everything the bf is saying in support of his claim. In short, Larry, give your poor wife a break. Of course she's lying. ANYONE would lie in those circumstances. She married you, therefore she chose you and wants to be with you. That's the most important thing of all, after all. Knowing that you do find other ladies attractive, and aren't going to act on it, just assume that your wife does find other males attractive, and won't act on it as well. She loves you, and that's what's important. Take comfort and security in the life the two of you have. Cheers, ------------------ http://www.wizardrealm.com/images/saz.gif |
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Exactly, THANK YOU Saz!! That was actually the point I was trying to illustrate with my story. My friend was no better off with a boyfriend who told her this lie, and her continuous questions about it made it even worse. If you just accept that every man sometimes turns his head after a beautiful woman and vice versa for women, you'll have a lot less to worry about. To me it's not even a problem anyway, just human nature, and it has nothing to do with actually cheating or even planning to. ------------------ Melusine, High Queen of Fluffies, Archbabe of the OHF, the LH, the HADB and the SPAE(Society for the Prevention of Acronym Extinction) & Official Entertainer Elf of the BG2 Bar http://www.angelfire.com/anime2/memnoch/mel1.gif Your voice is ambrosia Amy Brown Fantasy Art |
I think she can be saying that and telling the truth.
She may see other men, but none register to her as an attraction of any kind because she has you. http://www.ironworksforum.com/ubb/no...iles/smile.gif I've been put in her situation myself more than once...take her word for it, if you did not attract her, she would not be with you. http://www.ironworksforum.com/ubb/no...iles/smile.gif ------------------ http://members.aol.com/lasttrueprincess/images/ltp4.gif You know childhood is over when a puddle seems like an obstacle instead of an opportunity. Is Too! Is Not! Is Too! Is Not! |
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There is personal reason why I would ask the question as to why she will not let me know who she likes. This is why I asked it, not for your sake, or any other, but for me. Sorry I did not include that in the first part. I just did not think anyone would challenge my reasoning for asking this. Thanks for reminding me to update my info., though.http://www.ironworksforum.com/ubb/no...es/biggrin.gif</font> ------------------ http://members.aol.com/lasttrueprinc...ges/larry2.gif Devoted member of the Ironworks Loyal guardian of the OHF Member of the Ancients' club Faith beset in The Rocks (they show the way, you know...http://www.ironworksforum.com/ubb/no...es/biggrin.gif) [This message has been edited by Larry_OHF (edited 08-23-2001).] |
You know, before I was married I was a compulsive flirt. I would do so without being aware of it. I had a wide roving eye, and as I appreciated beauty in say a tree or waterfall or bird, how much more the incredible magnetic beauty a woman can radiate. I loved talking with women, their voices, their eyes, their sensativity and openess to emotions and expression. Their smell, the way they moved, dressed, curved (did I say that! http://www.ironworksforum.com/ubb/noncgi/smiles/wow.gif ).
Then I met my wife. While I was married I honestly believed I had met and married the most beautiful, most intelligent, most passionate person alive. She could have been a model, had a highly sought after and reputed Aussie degree (came in the top 3% in the states high school finals) she wrote with such fluency and articulation, created visual art of such brightness and positive vitality, she felt love and pain like no-one I'd met. I was smitten, and looked no further. My flirtatious nature died, I guarded even the slightest thought - especially as I was teaching young single women music. I found a midline where I could appreciate another females qualities without being attracted to them or desire more, because I had all I desired. All else was second best at most. Thus Larry, your woman may well be telling the truth. To her there truly may be no others attractive. There is a difference between attraction, and admiring beauty - inner or external. The dream, as some of you know, turned into a nightmare for me. What was so "perfect" turned into a pain-mine, which over time grew to the point of such enveloping blackness that life had to either end or be reinvented. I chose reinvention and after a chaotic maelstrom, began a long healing process which continues to this day. ------------------ I am the walrus!.... er, no hang on.... http://www.animfactory.com/animation...ing_lg_clr.gif A fair dinkum laughing Hyena! |
I wouldn't say that your wife is lying, I think maybe you have different viewpoints, different perceptions, or even different definitions. I don't think you need to feel guilty and I don't think you should worry about what she says.
------------------ Order of the Holy Flame Member of Clan HADB http://publish.hometown.aol.com/tobb...ages/reeka.jpg |
Reeka, Moni...exactly! That is very probably the case
*big long hug* for Hugh! ------------------ Melusine, High Queen of Fluffies, Archbabe of the OHF, the LH, the HADB and the SPAE(Society for the Prevention of Acronym Extinction) & Official Entertainer Elf of the BG2 Bar http://www.angelfire.com/anime2/memnoch/mel1.gif Your voice is ambrosia Amy Brown Fantasy Art |
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------------------ I am the walrus!.... er, no hang on.... http://www.animfactory.com/animation...ing_lg_clr.gif A fair dinkum laughing Hyena! |
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------------------ Melusine, High Queen of Fluffies, Archbabe of the OHF, the LH, the HADB and the SPAE(Society for the Prevention of Acronym Extinction) & Official Entertainer Elf of the BG2 Bar http://www.angelfire.com/anime2/memnoch/mel1.gif Your voice is ambrosia Amy Brown Fantasy Art |
pats Yorick's back brother, I want to meet you, really. how about I fly to Sydney this Christmas? anyone from Ironworks can come as well
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If she is being coy or remote with you when she never has done so before regarding openness or if you are picking up other things from her that something may be wrong, then yes, I would say that there would be a cause for concern. However, in the absence of the above symptoms, I still wouldn't worry about it. Based on your posts, Larry, you sound like a terrific husband. It sounds as if you're going through a bit of stress right now (both of you) and need to relax your attention on the day-to-day problems and concentrate on each other and what both of you need. I have a feeling that you are doing this; based on what you've said here, I don't know if she is or not. Keep trying, though. The important thing between you guys right now is communication. I was going to say a little more, but my wife just called me at work and her car battery is dead...I have to run. Don't sweat it too badly, Larry...just keep working with her. I wish you all the best, buddy. Cheers, ------------------ http://www.wizardrealm.com/images/saz.gif |
i dont know man, i guess there is no point keep guessing http://www.ironworksforum.com/ubb/no...es/biggrin.gif
it might hurt your relationship, let time unveil or cure everything |
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*Hugs Yorick* http://www.ironworksforum.com/ubb/no...s/EEhearts.gif ------------------ http://members.aol.com/lasttrueprincess/images/ltp4.gif You know childhood is over when a puddle seems like an obstacle instead of an opportunity. Is Too! Is Not! Is Too! Is Not! |
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Maybe I owe more explanation than this. I try to convince my wife that I am honest with her, and sometimes I like to pull jokes on her, just to see if I can get her jealous. For example, I know that she is going to catch me looking at that girl in the mall as we go walking by. I do not want to look without an explantation, that I feel I owe her, she being my wife and all, so I say..."Look at her! She so fine, you're probably having lesbian thoughts right now, aren't you?" http://www.ironworksforum.com/ubb/no...iles/smile.gif Or maybe, "Hey! I like the way that girl does her hair...what do you think of it?" Sometimes, I may see a guy who has stud written all over him, and I will say..."Karen! That guy is checking you out! You want him, don't you? "http://www.ironworksforum.com/ubb/no...iles/smile.gif Karen seems to enjoy the fact that I am so open with her, and that I let her know what I am thinking, even if it is disguised as a joke.</font> ------------------ http://members.aol.com/lasttrueprinc...ges/larry2.gif Devoted member of the Ironworks Loyal guardian of the OHF Member of the Ancients' club Faith beset in The Rocks (they show the way, you know...:D) |
The beautiful winged elf is right http://www.ironworksforum.com/ubb/no...es/biggrin.gifhttp://www.ironworksforum.com/ubb/no...es/biggrin.gifhttp://www.ironworksforum.com/ubb/no...es/biggrin.gif
The question seems ambiguous - she could just mean she's not attracted to them sexually (you stud, you http://www.ironworksforum.com/ubb/no...miles/wink.gif) - otherwise I'd be surprised Now stop worrying and make love to her some more, man! http://www.ironworksforum.com/ubb/no...iles/smile.gifhttp://www.ironworksforum.com/ubb/no...iles/smile.gifhttp://www.ironworksforum.com/ubb/no...iles/smile.gif ------------------ In the kingdom of the blind, the one-eyed man is pimp. Lord Raptor's Site http://www.ironworksforum.com/ubb/no...s/chickenL.gif |
Replying the question, "Is she lying?", I'd say - No, she isn't.
I agree with Moni, and Reeka, and Yorick in everything they said here... When I was so much in love with my ex, I honestly did not find any male being on the planet (except him, of course http://www.ironworksforum.com/ubb/no...iles/smile.gif) attractive, though I never told my ex that he was "the only one". It was like I did not aware that there were other men around, I had that one I needed and it was enough. I found many men to be wonderful friends and nice persons, but never saw them as males. Then, I suddenly found out that there were others and some of them were really attractive - but I was able to realize it only because I stopped to love that "only one"... So, Larry, I believe your wife is speaking about things she feels and you're very lucky she feels it exactly this way http://www.ironworksforum.com/ubb/no...iles/smile.gif. Tanda. |
I'll read the other posts after I have done this one.
First off - don't feel bad about 'looking' at other women. I think the vast majority of men do, even if they truly love their wives. No harm in looking. Don't touch! That WOULD be a betrayal. With women, and I have talked to a number of friends about this during recent years, it seems to depend on how much they care for their partner and how happy they are. Most women I have talked to who love their partner are just not interested in other men. Some women are as interested in 'looking' at men as men are in looking at women. Most of THEM seem content with just 'looking'. An unhappy woman, or one who no longer loves her partner, may do more than just look. Personally, I am a 'look' person! But I never touch. http://www.ironworksforum.com/ubb/no...miles/wink.gif ------------------ http://www.ranchoweb.com/images/bg2guy/bitchingcopy.gif http://www.ranchoweb.com/images/bg2guy/fljotsdale.gif |
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Why do women lose their drive and desire after the birth of a child? It is so unfair to us. My wife used to beg me for more... now... she tries to fall asleep before I get outta the shower. http://www.ironworksforum.com/ubb/no...iles/frown.gif</font> ------------------ http://members.aol.com/lasttrueprinc...ges/larry2.gif Devoted member of the Ironworks Loyal guardian of the OHF Member of the Ancients' club Faith beset in The Rocks (they show the way, you know...:D) |
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Maybe I owe more explanation than this. I try to convince my wife that I am honest with her, and sometimes I like to pull jokes on her, just to see if I can get her jealous. For example, I know that she is going to catch me looking at that girl in the mall as we go walking by. I do not want to look without an explantation, that I feel I owe her, she being my wife and all, so I say..."Look at her! She so fine, you're probably having lesbian thoughts right now, aren't you?" http://www.ironworksforum.com/ubb/no...iles/smile.gif Or maybe, "Hey! I like the way that girl does her hair...what do you think of it?" Sometimes, I may see a guy who has stud written all over him, and I will say..."Karen! That guy is checking you out! You want him, don't you? "http://www.ironworksforum.com/ubb/no...iles/smile.gif Karen seems to enjoy the fact that I am so open with her, and that I let her know what I am thinking, even if it is disguised as a joke.</font> [/QUOTE] Ye gods! If I were Karen I'd smack you round the head for saying stuff like that, Larry. It is SO insulting! I doubt if she really enjoys such comments, even if you feel you are being 'honest'. You feel guilty for finding other women attractive, and are trying to reduce your guilty feelings by wishing the same on her. Don't try to put onto her your own perception of things, it is not fair. Just take her word for it that she is not interested, and keep your 'guilt' to yourself. Because there is NO NEED to feel guilty if you never touch! http://www.ironworksforum.com/ubb/no...es/biggrin.gif ------------------ http://www.ranchoweb.com/images/bg2guy/bitchingcopy.gif http://www.ranchoweb.com/images/bg2guy/fljotsdale.gif |
Oh...
By the way, read my last post on page one...http://www.ironworksforum.com/ubb/no...es/biggrin.gif Help is needed... ------------------ http://members.aol.com/lasttrueprinc...ges/larry2.gif Devoted member of the Ironworks Loyal guardian of the OHF Member of the Ancients' club Faith beset in The Rocks (they show the way, you know...:D) |
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It is not at all uncommon for sexual desire to decrease after the birth of a child, from all the studies I've seen on it. A lot of it has to do with fatigue more than anything else. As I said above, you guys need a BREAK. A big one! ------------------ http://www.wizardrealm.com/images/saz.gif |
I know this is old news Lar, but I gotta get in there. You are so...*RRARGH!!*
You need to totally stop making comments like the "What do you think of her hair?" thing. Let Karen be Karen. You married her for her, for who she made herself and it looks to some girls including myself like you want her to change her appearance to match that of another girl of your type. (Now I, being your sister, can say this). I know how you prefer long, soft, blonde or auburn hair if you can help it. Please try not to let her think you want her to change. That will really piss her off. And besides that, maybe you should chill with the comments about other girls altogether. TRY THIS: (Put your serious face on and ) ASK KAREN HOW SHE REALLY FEELS WHEN YOU MAKE THESE JOKES WITH HER. Tell her you never meant any harm, but that you're curious if she's offended. This could also be a reason why she doesn't want to make love to you. Women pride themselves that way: TAKE SEX AWAY WHEN HE'S BAD. I could be totally completely wrong. I don't know her well as you, but I know she loves you and will for eternity. You should make her feel more special than the sparkling stars in the sky and devote a whole entire evening to romancing her. Have Katherine watch the baby, and put on some Rico Suave!!!!! Love ya... |
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CB ------------------ http://www.wizardrealm.com/images/bestow1.jpg Raindancer of the Laughing Hyenas Clan Storm-Queen StormCloud of the Black Knight: Heart Mind Soul Forever "To sleep, perchance to dream..." |
IM not trying to be sexist at all in the slightest but sometimes women can be just so damn sensitive. I mean if a woman said the same comments to a male he would laugh and appreciate the joke, why is that women have to take it so seriously all the time grrr sorry just my rant about being sensitive about nothing.
------------------ http://www.asnsoup.com/Azurewolf%20copy.jpg "I was born of darkness. My fathers eyes closed before mine opened. I am not of this world or the other, and I have the right to be what I am..." |
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With this comment, and others, some people have missed the point. Let's work backwards on the replies... When a woman has a child, the chemicals in her body, can't think of the name right now, but it is not testostorome, it is the other one...is depleted. Also, when a woman breast-feeds something happens there as well (I won't get into it) that turns the sexual sensitivity off. I have actually read the books on this stuff, because I was so worried about it when it happened. Statistics show that women just are not as turned on after pregnancy as they used to be, by nature's fault. They do not get as much out of love making as they used to. It has to do with that stupid chemical that I wish was included in every ounce of water that she drinks. http://www.ironworksforum.com/ubb/no...es/biggrin.gif Well, some women don't go through it, and some women lie about the amount of enjoyment received to not hurt feelings, etc. Anyway...my other comment about teasing her on the subject of other girls has already been discussed with her. I asked her if it bothered her, and sh said that it did not because she knew it was all a joke. I told her that I really do find others attractive, and she said that was ok, as long as I told her about it. I told her that I would never keep that secret from her. I point the attention to others' features because she used to ask me if I liked this or that, and so I just decided to help her save her breath! Do you see how some of you have totally gone off on me, without realizing that my wife and I are probably the best communicating couple in the entire world! The only thing she does no like for me to do is not tell her everything. If a hispanic calls me up, and she cannot understand the conversation, she will ask me to tell her what that was all about. I do not have anything to hide from her. I have introduced her to the friends I have that are girls. We even had a Hispanic lady stay with us for the month of Karen's pregancy!!! Now stop thinking that I am bad, for those of you that do...and try to understand that I originally asked why Karen does not seem to want to share her dreams and personals with me, though she expects them of me? By the way...this is not directed at anyone...I am just bothered that I forgot to include the whole scenario to you before expecting a reply. It is my fault that you have mis-judged me, because I did not tell you everything. I rule! And Karen likes the way I do it, ust as long as I am honest, she cannot stand it when I teasingly keep something from her.</font> ------------------ http://members.aol.com/lasttrueprinc...ges/larry2.gif Devoted member of the Ironworks Loyal guardian of the OHF Member of the Ancients' club Faith beset in The Rocks (they show the way, you know...:D) |
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Tanda has said exactly what I was going to say. But wanted you to know that she is not alone in that view. I was the same for many many years. Quote:
Larry, you & your wife are very lucky in each other and your relationship. Please cherish that, and trust in that. Open communication is great. Not playing games is great. Keep up the good work! (and yes, relationships are WORK! http://www.ironworksforum.com/ubb/no...les/tongue.gif) ------------------ http://www.paulbunyan.net/mnssc/bilqisd.gif Having abandoned my search for truth, I am now looking for a good fantasy. For R³ in thanks: Sometimes I think I understand everything, then I regain consciousness. [This message has been edited by bilqis (edited 08-23-2001).] |
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------------------ http://members.aol.com/lasttrueprinc...ges/larry2.gif Devoted member of the Ironworks Loyal guardian of the OHF Member of the Ancients' club Faith beset in The Rocks (they show the way, you know...http://www.ironworksforum.com/ubb/no...es/biggrin.gif) [This message has been edited by Larry_OHF (edited 08-23-2001).] |
There is your answer then Larry, you answered yourself.
And you "Rreowwed" in the process. That's all fine and stuff. Ya know, I guess it all comes to every one in the world is different and every one has their own preferences in relationships. I know what I prefer, and so it just proves Karen doesn't mind so long as she knows you'll be honest with her. May I say that I personally don't believe Karen is hiding anything from you? I think she is PERFECTLY aware that there are attractive guys in the world out there, some working out in Gold's Gym in Hickory, NC, sweat trickling down their muscles beneath 300 pounds of steel, or hanging up in Structure calendars all exposed down to their bare and fruitful boxers with LOADS of masculinity disguised beneath...*ahem*...but she is not entertaining the thought of their existence because you are the one who makes her heart pound...makes her palms sweaty...makes her feel um..."randy". heh You give her all the pleasure and desire she needs even if she is so unfortunate that childbirth is slowly robbing her of her ESTROGEN (I believe is the word you're looking for). Trust her, even if you find it impossible for her to not be interested in other guys, and you will realize these things are those which you knew all along. You goober. And hey, you know you can always buy her a bottle of Niagra and slip it into her Kool-Aide ..hehe |
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Ladies and Gentlemen! Let me present you with my sister! Isn't she something? http://www.ironworksforum.com/ubb/no...es/biggrin.gif</font> ------------------ http://members.aol.com/lasttrueprinc...ges/larry2.gif Devoted member of the Ironworks Loyal guardian of the OHF Member of the Ancients' club Faith beset in The Rocks (they show the way, you know...http://www.ironworksforum.com/ubb/no...es/biggrin.gif) [This message has been edited by Larry_OHF (edited 08-23-2001).] |
<font color="gold">So, are you saying that it is too early to invite another girl over for a three-somehttp://www.ironworksforum.com/ubb/no...miles/rand.gif http://www.ironworksforum.com/ubb/no...es/biggrin.gif
I actually asked her that once! It resulted in a very fun wrestling match , in which she won after 15 minutes of sweating and clothes being yanked off, her being on top at the time...or maybe I won...<font color="white">(oh...sorry http://www.ironworksforum.com/ubb/no...es/FRblush.gif I will stop there...)</font></font> ------------------ http://members.aol.com/lasttrueprinc...ges/larry2.gif Devoted member of the Ironworks Loyal guardian of the OHF Member of the Ancients' club Faith beset in The Rocks (they show the way, you know...http://www.ironworksforum.com/ubb/no...es/biggrin.gif) [This message has been edited by Larry_OHF (edited 08-23-2001).] |
Thanks Larry.
I just strongly believe that since she trusts you to tell her things she is entitled to know, you should display the same trust in her word. PaDOW!!! |
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