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On the way home tonight I stopped by HomeDepot and "GOT ME A BOARD."http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...es/biggrin.gif
It wuz a purty board an I wuz gunna do some uv that wood cuttin stuff ol' Normy does on PBS.http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...es/biggrin.gif Then, out of the blue, my wife yells down to my shop; "honey could you come here and do a favor for me?" Being the dutiful husband I like to think that I am, I answered; "absolutely!" http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...es/biggrin.gif She then advised me the project would take 5 to 10 minutes. This didn't shake my resolve in the least and I said; "that's alright." http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...es/biggrin.gif When I reached the living room, where my pregnant wife was reclining, she asked (with big eyelashes batting over her big green eyes); "would you please paint my toenails?" Without skipping a beat I answered; "huh?!?" http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...miles/eek7.gif For those of you who are unaware, there comes a point during pregnancy when women can no longer reach their feet. At this point I realized all was not a total loss an told her; "I would be happy to paint your toenails." http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...miles/hihi.gif However, my wife, who obviously knows me too well, said; "You can't play around. No drawing pictures on my toes. And you must stay on the toenail." Now all was a total loss. http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...iles/frown.gif So I painted her nails to the best of my ability, which is somewhere near median grade school quality. http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...iles/uhoh2.gif Well, at least I still had my board. But as I headed back to my shop, with my tattered manly dignity barely intact, she said; "could you do one more favor before you go downstairs?" http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...iles/uhoh2.gif At this point I made a rookie move and turned to look at her as I answered. And there she was, still reclined, looking pregnant and helpless, with eyelashes batting. At this point I took my dignity firmly in hand and told her exactly what she could do with her requests. "Sure." I answered. http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...miles/crap.gif "Would you please put lavender lotion and rose scented talcum powder on my feet?" she asked. http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...miles/eek7.gif So I did as she requested and prepared her feet, as close to her specifications as I am capable, for her night out at a baby shower. http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...es/disgust.gif BTW, guys did you know that applying talcum powder, before lotion is dry, produces a paste that is not easily removed? I didn't. Do now! To make a long story short, my manly dignity is no longer in tact and I am about ready to bequeath my shop tools and machinery to someone more worthy. My humiliation runs deep! [This message has been edited by onthepequod (edited 05-09-2001).] |
Oh don't be so humiliated!
One of these days, if she hasn't already, she is going to have to ask for your help to get up from that recliner! My most embarassing moment when I was pregnant was having to ask someone I barely knew if they could help me out of a chair! http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...miles/wink.gif Moni ------------------ http://members.aol.com/lasttrueprincess/images/ltp4.gif [This message has been edited by Moni (edited 05-09-2001).] |
I'll take those tools.... http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/noncgi/smiles/338.gif
SISSY.... http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...miles/hihi.gif http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...ievalsmile.gif <---- ready if you come at me... ------------------ http://publish.hometown.aol.com/tobb...s/rudedawg.jpg http://www.phpshop.net/images/bg2guy/cov09.jpg The RudeDawg Known in these Forgotten Realms as Perin LightEyes and my girlfriends, Pamila and Phil |
Onthepequod, I feel for you (wife, & two daughters) about the only thing you can do is to look at it from a differant angle. Like when you have to go out to the store at 11:00pm to get femine products, it means you got a woman. After all we're all pondscum http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...es/biggrin.gif and count ourselves lucky that one of the fairer sex slowed down to let us catch them. Go downstairs and get your most powerful power tool and make a lot of noisehttp://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...es/biggrin.gif
------------------ http://www.123imagehost.com/images/b...arrissig02.gif "the memories of a man in his old age, are deeds of a man in his prime" |
Don't fret mate, you did your best and you should be proud of it. Okay, perhaps the battering eyelashes "did" get you in the end but I'd say that was no way near as humiliating as some of my stuff. (please don't askhttp://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...miles/wink.gif)
PS: At least you "know" now how to paint toenails and put lotion/talcum powder. I'd make a pretty cake-like mixture, if any woman told me the same thing. No kidding. http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...es/biggrin.gif So I should say well done! ------------------ http://www.gis.net/~yos/lichwah.gif Greetings Mortals. My Name Is Wah, Arch Lich Wah. |
Hey can I have some tools too? I do actually use them, its my job! On second thought I better send you mine. It will help you regain ....what you lost http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...iles/smile.gif Lets see....one nailgun,compressor, and framing hammer in the mail to ya.
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Moni,
You sound like the voice of experience/wisdom. Actually we have been there (i.e. me assiting her to get up) for some time now...she's due 5/26. But I still tell her she is barely showing and only when you see her profile. http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...miles/wink.gif LoneStarDawg, I wrote; "I am about ready to bequeath my shop tools and machinery to someone more worthy." I did not say I am ready. Tsk, Tsk, RudeDawg. Trying to take another man's tools. Have you no shame? http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...miles/eek7.gif BTW the manfacturer specs my tablesaw at 560 lbs., you'ld have a tough time getting it up the basement stairs. Next time we move we're using movers. http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...es/biggrin.gif Those lucky buggers. http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...es/biggrin.gif John D., Thanks for the sympathy. Likewise my heart goes out to you, with your two daughters. Daughters would prematurely age me! I would worry about them every day of their lives. Especially when those little flee ridden vermin known as boys started taking notice of them. http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/noncgi/smiles/mad.gif Being in a fraturnity for 3 years did not help my outlook in this respect. Wah, You're a kind Lich! You're right those batting eyelashes are a devastating weapon. Why do I get the feeling that Moni and Cloudbringer are wielders of this weapon of utter destruction? Hey!! I just got an idea for the Dwarven Throwers tread! LOA, You're too kind. But I have a Senco framing nailer, a compressor (although it is a little under powered), and two 24oz. Vaughns. I framed during my college years. I assume your a framer. Yes? FYI, frequently I envy guys like you who are out building something tangible. I would be interested in hearing any construction stories you may have. [This message has been edited by onthepequod (edited 05-09-2001).] |
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you are a really sweet man! BTW, my weapon of destruction is my pout lol! Rex can testify! Of course, a pout combined with batting eyelashes is the ultimate weapon! http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...miles/wink.gif Moni ------------------ http://members.aol.com/lasttrueprincess/images/ltp4.gif [This message has been edited by Moni (edited 05-09-2001).] |
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My my my...Hi onthepequod! *bat bat of lashes over hazel eyes*. Moni, I think we've been insulted, ...or complimented?! LOL.... CloudFlirt ------------------ http://publish.hometown.aol.com/tobb...s/bestow~1.jpg Raindancer of the Laughing Hyenas Clan Storm-Queen StormCloud of the Black Knight Heart Mind Soul Forever |
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OH YES!!!! THE <H3><font color="pink">POUT!</font></H3> Add the lashes and total devesation! hehehe ER Moni? Should we be giving away trade secrets? http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...es/biggrin.gif TEEHEE Cloudy ------------------ http://publish.hometown.aol.com/tobb...s/bestow~1.jpg Raindancer of the Laughing Hyenas Clan Storm-Queen StormCloud of the Black Knight Heart Mind Soul Forever [This message has been edited by Cloudbringer (edited 05-09-2001).] |
Don't feel to bad. All men with children have to go though it. That's just part of being a man. Look at as a test of manhood; a right of passage if you will.
Now the real tests come later. You know the ones, getting peed/pooped on and (of course being part of a fraternity your probably ready for this one) getting puked on. Nothing like having one of those done to you for total humiliation. I survived both if these many times now. Never happens to her. Just me. Boy or girl? ------------------ Sir Taliesin If they take my gun can I still use my Claymore? |
Moni and CloudBringer,
You two are a guileful pair, aren't you? http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...miles/wink.gif [This message has been edited by onthepequod (edited 05-09-2001).] |
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http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...miles/wink.gif Moni ------------------ http://members.aol.com/lasttrueprincess/images/ltp4.gif |
Sir Taliesin: "Never happens to her. Just me."
ROFL, sorry man, I had to laugh at that one! I raised my son alone so I got it all, I know the feeling! Hugs! Moni ------------------ http://members.aol.com/lasttrueprincess/images/ltp4.gif [This message has been edited by Moni (edited 05-10-2001).] |
Cool! Good to see another framer here! Even if your out of it(dont blame ya!) I have a Hitachi nailgun, 25 oz Deathstick hammer (gonna post my hammer pic on Stealthys site Amber? <GRIN>)As for stories well theres many. And many profane ones! Heres one I'm still a bit bitter about-
We call her the Wicked Bitch of Waxhaw(a town near here). Well we started framing and got up first floor walls, and started on second floor system. At that time we (my partner and I) had all our tools stolen $#$%^&** but thats not related to the bitch. Anyway I went on vacation to Colorado while my partner ran things. Gone for a week. Came back and they were taking things DOWN. Seems since we went with the foundation the house was 6 inches too big. Yes TOO BIG! Not according to plan the $%$%^^&& said. Wanted in shrunk even though it no bearing on anything whatsoever. That cost us a bundle in labor yep. Well as we were putting the roof on vandals struck and spray-painted F*ck you on a piece of plywood that hadnt been used yet. We were blamed of course. Wasnt us, wish we had though. Well that piece of plywood ended up getting used on the roof. The guy that layed it didnt even notice or care. F*ck you was now PROMINENTLY visible as you drove into the driveway. She uhhh once again took that as a personal affront. The contractor( who detested her) pushed the roofing schedule back 2 weeks and told him do that part last. Not much justice but every sub got a laugh since they ended up detesting her also. Gee I hope shes on Ironworks! |
Sir Taliesin,
Boy. Thanks for asking. For now I have dodged the daughter bullet (see previous post about worrying..not to mention a house full of pouty lips and batting eyelashes). Recently, I read an account of fatherhood by a man with a toddler. In it he said there was a time when he would never have smelled another persons butt in a public restaurant. But with a toddler diaper smelling is now a life staple for him. You also sound like a voice of experience. Sons? Daughters? Both? |
LOA,
I can picture your story vividly. I had to laugh. That is a quintessential framer's story. It's amazing how many funny thing happen to/around framers. |
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CloudSparkle ------------------ http://publish.hometown.aol.com/tobb...s/bestow~1.jpg Raindancer of the Laughing Hyenas Clan Storm-Queen StormCloud of the Black Knight Heart Mind Soul Forever |
LoA: Yup, soon as I get them scanned, POST time! http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...es/biggrin.gif And that story is hilarious! http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...iles/smile.gif
Cloudykins ------------------ http://publish.hometown.aol.com/tobb...s/bestow~1.jpg Raindancer of the Laughing Hyenas Clan Storm-Queen StormCloud of the Black Knight Heart Mind Soul Forever |
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(innocent look in eyes over which eyelashes flutter as the mouth pouts slightly) Moi? Lil 'ol MOI?! Never! http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...miles/wink.gif Moni P.S. Congrats on the BOY! I have one myself, twenty years old and a doll of a man! http://members.aol.com/lasttrueprinc...es/dustin1.gif ------------------ http://members.aol.com/lasttrueprincess/images/ltp4.gif [This message has been edited by Moni (edited 05-10-2001).] |
Both!!! And a like in nothing. As for the diaper smelling thing. You get good at
it. Hell I don't even have to bend down to sniff anymore. My nose can pick up the wuft of a smelly diaper from twenty feet away and know right away whether or not it's from my son! Man you have so much to learn and experience! I wouldn't trade it for the world!!! Greatest thing since sliced bread and they give hugs too! By the way don't be shy about showing them who the boss is!!! Never show fear. They will sense it immediately and then your a goner!! ------------------ Sir Taliesin If they take my gun can I still use my Claymore? |
CloudSparkle,
Tahnks! http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...miles/wink.gif Moni, Thanks! That's a fine picture. You must be proud. http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...iles/smile.gif Similarly, I hope twenty years from now I can say my son turned out to be a gentleman. Sir Taliesin, Your words of wisdom, I will file away for future referrence. 20 feet? http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/noncgi/smiles/wow.gif Well, you give me something to shoot for but boy do you ever set the bar high. With my allergies I'll be lucky to discern at two feet. |
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I grew up around tools. My father was a machinist, and I started as a roofer at age 14, working for my uncle. I strted making furniture with my cousin. I also worked as a mechanic later. Anytime I needed something that I couldn't find anywhere, my father would design, and make the tool... I miss them. I have a workshop FULL of mechanic, carpentry, and woodworking tols. But, it's 300 miles from me. I hate apartments. http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no.../angryfire.gif LonelyDawg ------------------ http://publish.hometown.aol.com/tobb...s/rudedawg.jpg http://www.phpshop.net/images/bg2guy/cov09.jpg The RudeDawg Known in these Forgotten Realms as Perin LightEyes and my girlfriends, Pamila and Pfil [This message has been edited by RudeDawg (edited 05-10-2001).] |
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LonelyDawg ------------------ http://publish.hometown.aol.com/tobb...s/rudedawg.jpg http://www.phpshop.net/images/bg2guy/cov09.jpg The RudeDawg Known in these Forgotten Realms as Perin LightEyes and my girlfriends, Pamila and Pfil |
RudeDawg,
No need for me to forgive, friend. http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...miles/wink.gif Actually, I enjoyed and got a kick out of your post. Please, feel free to give me the same type of grief in the future, I like it. My sympathies in regard to your tool situation. That must be rough. So what have you built? Any wood preferences? I have always appreciated mechinist tools from afar. I am a wood man myself. [This message has been edited by onthepequod (edited 05-10-2001).] |
all right explain the whole onthepequod nickname for me please http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...es/biggrin.gif
------------------ http://publish.hometown.aol.com/tobb...s/turbovee.jpg http://sites.netscape.net/silex3/vwbeattle.gif The sexiest elf mage in the land I feel the need, the need for SPEED! Peace and hair grease |
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The last project I finished was a china cabinet, about 6 years ago. It was just before we found my mother's cancer. I got distracted after that. I just picked up some plans for a "reader's bed"; a queeen sized bed, with cabinets built into the sloping headboard. I've already figured some "improvements" for it, built in lighting to read by, and a coffee holding table for when I read. I know what to do, I just don't have anywhere to do it with !!! The local community college offers classes in woodworking, so I want to go by and see if they will let me use the shop to work on my own project, if I sign up for their class. We'll see.... HopefulDawg ------------------ http://publish.hometown.aol.com/tobb...s/rudedawg.jpg http://www.phpshop.net/images/bg2guy/cov09.jpg The RudeDawg Known in these Forgotten Realms as Perin LightEyes and my girlfriends, Pamila and Pfil |
Turbovee,
onthepequod is a referrence to Herman Melville's Moby Dick. The ship was captianed by Ahab and sailed on by Ishmael (i.e. "call me Ishmael"). Ultimately the ship sunk in the Indian Ocean and all perished except Ishmael. Therefore to be on the pequod would insinuate that you sank with the ship (unless of course you were Ishmael). In my current job I have been given stock options in three different option grants. However, as a commodity goes toilet paper is more valuable and more useful than my stock options are (for the time being), since my options are nowhere near the money. In a bleak and disparaging moment I chose onthepequod (for a stock forum) as a reflection on the marketability of my options. Yeah, they sunk quickly and painfully. http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...les/crying.gif RudeDawg, You sound like you my be beyond my ability. If you lived in Minnesota, I'ld say come on over and use mine. Myself, I am in the process of finishing some kitchen cabinetry. If you ever want to talk wood or projects (this includes you LOA) drop me a line or perhaps we could start a thread. |
Rude,
Sorry to hear about your mother's cancer. I won't pry. |
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She fought for two years, and passed away in Oct, 1998. ------------------ http://publish.hometown.aol.com/tobb...s/rudedawg.jpg http://www.phpshop.net/images/bg2guy/cov09.jpg The RudeDawg Known in these Forgotten Realms as Perin LightEyes and my girlfriends, Pamila and Pfil |
Onthepequod - forgive my absent mindedness. I read that book many ages ago and I remember the Pequod. I just didn't make the connection, man do I fell stupid http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...es/biggrin.gif
oh well, another beer should help me get over that! cheers to you brother. ------------------ http://publish.hometown.aol.com/tobb...s/turbovee.jpg http://sites.netscape.net/silex3/vwbeattle.gif The sexiest elf mage in the land I feel the need, the need for SPEED! Peace and hair grease |
RudeDawg,
My condolences to you and your family. |
Turbovee,
No need to feel stupid, you had no way of knowing what connection I was trying to make. I thought it was a good question. http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...miles/wink.gif |
Ah children. I have to admit that I have given up trying to keep any sennse of dignity. The best is potty training.
The other day I was changing my daughter's diaper in a public restroom (one of those without a changing table -- why businesses are so sexist as to only put changing tables in the women's room . . . like guys never change a diaper?) Anyway half-way through the changing process, she decides to pee. Rather than freak out and scream, I said "Good job. You're going pee!" (positive reinforcement, helping her to become aware of what her body is doing) and calmly placed her on the toilet -- all the while maintaining an encouraging positive tone, urine dripping from my fingers. Just doing my job in trying to make potty training a postive rather than a scary exeperience. Of course I would rather have freaked, but then what would my daughter think . . . "I pee and Daddy freaks. Better pee in diapers my whole life and make Daddy happy." Let's just say that I thought I was a patient person. Then I had kids. http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...es/biggrin.gif And don't worry about trying to compete with Norm. The man is a god. I almost died of shock the day he used a hand saw. ------------------ http://www.angelfire.com/anime2/memn...ges/bronze.gif Most Subtle Official Straightman of the Laughing Hyenas -- Grammarian Brigade. |
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LMAO! Hilarious! I was in your very same spot a mere 3 months ago. My new daughter is 10 weeks old now and crabby as hell most of the time. Although I can kind of understand that as if I crapped and puked on myself all day long, I'd be crabby too (kind of reminds me of my college days...ahh...the memories). You're in for a real treat! Enjoy them while you can because they (the baby) change every day (usually the wives change too, but that's a whole 'nother thread.)http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...es/biggrin.gif. BTW, I'm in the market for both a band saw and a table saw. http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...iles/smile.gif ------------------ http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...iles/MON18.gif Now where did I leave that doughnut?! |
Congrats, Throntar!
Ooo! Ooo! Bandsaw?!? Tablesaw?!? I don’t have a bandsaw myself but so far have not been disappointed by the Jet equipment I have purchased. As for a tablesaw, I do have an opinion. http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...es/biggrin.gif I own a 3 h.p. 10 inch left tilting cabinetmaker’s tablesaw and love it, even Hard Maple cuts like butter. While I think Jet, Delta, and Powermatic (of course there are better but then you’re talking real $$$) are close in quality I would recommend going for a cabinet maker’s saw based on closer tolerances for greater accuracy, increased horsepower, and machine longevity. Of course those who are truly talented can turn out excellent work on whatever machine they have. Father Bronze, Ah yes, Patience, a virtue normally possessed only by those without children. Hey, if you know of any place I could pick up some of this scarce commodity, please let me know. |
Patience comes with the territory. When you see your new son a switch will be flipped somewhere in your brain and you will have all the patience in the world.
Mom on the other hand will probably be the opposite. Especially with you. Watch out and good luck. ------------------ Sir Taliesin If they take my gun can I still use my Claymore? |
An amusing recollection just hit me. And since we’ve been discussing pregnancy and parenthood here, I thought I would share.
When my wife first discovered she was pregnant, she didn’t approach me and say “guess what!” or “I have good news!” or even “how would you like to be a father?” Instead she walked straight up to me, without warning what so ever, and with a wry little smile on her face said; “you’re a BAD, BAD man!” http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...es/biggrin.gif Several months later I still crack a smile when I think of it. |
Oh! That is toooooo Funny!
Thank you for sharing that! http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/noncgi/smiles/485.gif Moni ------------------ http://members.aol.com/lasttrueprincess/images/ltp4.gif |
LOL, yes I totally agree! http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...es/biggrin.gifhttp://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...miles/wink.gif
(Aw no, gotta run guys, the batting eyelids patrol and the pouty lips brigade is on my tail - fast!) Estimated Speed: 300 blinks per second Estimated Poutiness: No Data Confirmed ------------------ http://www.gis.net/~yos/lichwah.gif Greetings Mortals. My Name Is Wah, Arch Lich Wah. |
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