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This is in response to the "things a man should know when he's 40" thread, it's all in good humour, personally I could never get enough of women, they are gods greatest creation... http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...iles/smile.gif
--------anyway here it goes------------- Learn to work the toilet seat. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us bitching about you leaving it down. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. We refuse to answer. Don't cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive than short hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married women always cut their hair, and by then you're stuck with her. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we can find the perfect present yet again! If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear. Sometimes, we're not thinking about you. Live with it. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks. Sunday = Sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be. Shopping is not a sport, and no, we're never going to think of it that way. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really. You have enough clothes. You have too many shoes. Crying is blackmail. Ask for what you want. Let's be clear on this one: Subtle hints don't work. Strong hints don't work. Really obvious hints don't work. Just say it! We don't know what day it is. We never will. Mark anniversaries on the calendar. Peeing standing up is more difficult. We're bound to miss sometimes. Most guys own three pairs of shoes. What makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress? Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor. Foreign films are best left to foreigners. Check your oil. It is neither in your best interest nor ours to take the quiz together. No, it doesn't matter which quiz. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. All comments become null and void after 7 days. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one. Let us ogle. We're going to look anyway; it's genetic. You can either tell us to do something OR tell us how to do something but not both. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials. ALL men see in only 16 colors. Peach is a fruit, not a color. If it itches, it will be scratched. Beer is as exciting for us as handbags are for you. If we ask what's wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you're lying, but it's just not worth the hassle ------------------ http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...ievalsmile.gif Keldorn's Younger brother [This message has been edited by Row Firecam (edited 05-07-2001).] |
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Hehe http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...es/biggrin.gif
------------------ http://wolfgir.najk.net/name.gif WOLF WINS EVERY FIGHT BUT ONE, AND IN THAT ONE, HE DIES |
ROFLMAO!! Well said, pal! And I'm female! http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no.../1orglaugh.gif http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no.../1grlaugh2.gif http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/noncgi/smiles/485.gif http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...miles/hihi.gif
------------------ Smile! Life is too short for bitching! http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...s/EEhearts.gif Fljotsdale |
Oh man, I'm in trouble ! http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/noncgi/smiles/eek.gif
I agree with a lot of these.... http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...s/coollook.gif BadDawg ------------------ http://publish.hometown.aol.com/tobb...s/rudedawg.jpg http://www.phpshop.net/images/bg2guy/cov09.jpg The RudeDawg Known in these Forgotten Realms as Perin LightEyes and my girlfriends, Pamila and Phil |
I'll bet the women are just beating down your door!
------------------ Reeka--The Hand of Death O_H_F GMDLM http://publish.hometown.aol.com/tobb...ages/reeka.jpg |
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I already said I was single again... This probably explains why... http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...les/crying.gif ------------------ http://publish.hometown.aol.com/tobb...s/rudedawg.jpg http://www.phpshop.net/images/bg2guy/cov09.jpg The RudeDawg Known in these Forgotten Realms as Perin LightEyes and my girlfriends, Pamila and Phil |
Hehehehehe!!! Row Firecam, that is hilarious!
It also makes me appreciate how lucky I am to have the lady I do in my life. Lela (Leopardqueen on the Internet) is just like I am on all these topics...she hates shopping (even worse than I do, I have to twist her arm to go with me, LOL!), neither of us care much for sports, she has hair down to her arse and will NOT cut it for love nor money, never blackmails me (nor do I her), fully admits she has too many shoes (but she only uses two pair, I swear the others are for decoration), and chooses her own fashions herself and has enough esteem to know she does the right thing. I support her in all her creative endeavors, she supports me in mine, and we have a relationship built on mutual love, tolerance, and deep affection. I really couldn't ask for more in a person. My only grief is that she won't see this, because of our one difference...I'm into gaming, and she's not. http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...iles/smile.gif (She's into movies instead...so she watches movies and I play computer games, and we meet up afterward. It works out great.) Thanks for the great laugh, and the insight. http://www.wizardrealm.com/images/saz1.gif |
heh heh heh
Note to self...print these out for future reference, they could save a life...his! http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...miles/wink.gif Moni http://members.aol.com/lasttrueprincess/images/ltp4.gif |
Can I get an AMEN???
BTW ladyzekke, I like the new addition to your sig. ------------------ "The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his." -General George Patton (1885-1945) http://www.123imagehost.com/images/t...amber5copy.jpg |
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You got the 'cut hair' part dead wrong for us though - I am always trying to keep my hair long (which is a challenge, as they are VERY curly), and my hubbie keeps telling me to cut them (seems they always manage to entangle parts of him at the worst possible moments http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...es/biggrin.gif ). ------------------ http://fc1ddq.free.fr/stan2.gif http://www.tgeweb.com/images/forum/icons/ninja1.gif The world is my oyster ! And now I have the knives to open it ... |
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------------------ http://www.angelfire.com/rpg/stealthy/KungFuGal.gif http://exit3.i-55.com/~casual/Ladyzeke/Ladyzekke.gif |
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BK |
I might have to argue the Short Hair thing. Some girls look cute with short hair (my GF for one). Just wanted to throw that out there. . .
BK |
*falls to the floor and laughs hysterically for many minutes*
Hilarious!! True for so many, but I like to think I'm more like Sazerac's wife than the women described in the list. You'd have to ask my husband for confirmation. http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...miles/wink.gif ------------------ http://www.paulbunyan.net/mnssc/f65L.gif Sometimes I think I understand everything, then I regain consciousness. Happy Member of Fast Fourward. |
ROW ! HAHAHAHAAHAHA! OH this is too good! LOL Absolutely hilarious!
Um, oil? I can't remember to put GAS in the car...*snicker* Shopping IS a sport AND a hobby...hehehe... AmusedCloud ------------------ http://publish.hometown.aol.com/tobb...s/bestow~1.jpg Raindancer of the Laughing Hyenas Clan Storm-Queen StormCloud of the Black Knight Heart Mind Soul Forever |
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I think that alot of beatiful women can strike you down in many shapes, colors and different hair length http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...miles/wink.gif hehe oups?? ------------------ http://wolfgir.najk.net/name.gif WOLF WINS EVERY FIGHT BUT ONE, AND IN THAT ONE, HE DIES |
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LOL http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...miles/wink.gif http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...iles/smile.gif http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...miles/wink.gif LOL ------------------ http://publish.hometown.aol.com/tobb.../sp_horror.gif Protectorate of the OHF Death Waits 4 U ALL |
you have a point bout hair... http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...es/biggrin.gif
------------------ http://publish.hometown.aol.com/tobb...es/bahamut.gif http://www.123imagehost.com/images/s...y/chiharu1.gif I am Bahamut... and this Chiharu. |
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http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...iles/smile.gif BK ------------------ http://publish.hometown.aol.com/tobb...emonknight.gif The Black Storm Cloud of the Night Consort to a Queen Champion of Truth, Justice and Cloudy's Way Captain of the Knights of the Golden Dragons Heart, Mind, and Soul Offical Wizard and Warrior Questioner What is this, the Spanish Inquisition? |
Grumble, grumble ... be nice, kids ! http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...s/rolleyes.gif
------------------ http://fc1ddq.free.fr/stan2.gif http://www.tgeweb.com/images/forum/icons/ninja1.gif The world is my oyster ! And now I have the knives to open it ... |
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