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I think they are some of the most amazing feelings. When im sad or deppressed or feel lone or something like this, im almost happy at the same time, only for knowing that im not happy. Ive always thought that complete happyness is impossible to get, so somehow i feel better when im sad. The drawback for me is that i usually take things too seriously, and that sadness affects me too much. I´ve always wanted to be like Mr.Jones, the main character of the film with that title (Mr Jones), maniac deppressive (at least this is how its said in spanish). I think im similar to him, with many mood changes and stuff, but not that serious, im not sure if i have that illness. anyway I think im mad in some way, truely insane. I speak alone, i have strange thoughts (thoughts that would shock most of the people), and many other symptoms of mental insanity. I also think im smart, and stupid at the same time. Sometimes i cant catch the more elemental things, others i understand complex things without a problem. Ive been always good at writing (at least in spanish), ive wrote so many tales (some of them earned prizes in championships), but im also stupid cause sometimes i cant even understand the depth of what i write. Ive read so many books (ive devoured books most of the time), and most of them have shocked me. I always get so involved with books and films; for example, ive always felt bad when spiderman or superman had to leave to solve any problem, and when they go back as normal people they´re called cowards. Thats the kind of thing that makes me wonder. Ive always had phylosophycal thoughts, since i was very young. I think if i had wrote them i´d be a different person now. i still have them, but i forget them, and that scares me. ive had some experiences with drugs, and that scares me too, cause im so afraid that i will end being an addict or having problems due to them. Sometimes being drunk or something ive had some scenes, crying and stuff, telling my best friend that he doesnt love me... thats another thing, i always think that people hates me, even if they say they love me. im always so afraid to say the wrong thing in the wrong moment, and sometimes i sin of being static only cause im afraid to act. When im sad (dunno if it can be called depressed) i cry all the time, for nothing. It makes me wonder too. I have many complexes, and most of them make me feel so insecure. i love my friends a lot, and i make friends easily. That might sound good, but believe me, it isnt. the faster you make your friends, the higher chance there is that in the end he/she wont be a good friend. also i am very sincere with my friends when im talking about serious things (otherwise i lie constantly, i think that isnt very sane neither), so when something happens to me or i have a problem i talk about it with LOTS of people, and that isnt good neither. a secret is a secret until you talk about it; the more people that knows it, the higher chance some of them will talk about it with the wrong person. another problem is that i fall in love easily (im a fast-feelings person), and that has caused me lotsa problems along with my sincerity. some girls dont like hearing "i love you", specially if who says that isnt even their boyfriend. ive had some suicidal tendencies in the past, but ive always passed them thinking on my brother (hes 13 and he´s mentally retarded, gives lotsa work) and in the things i havent still done in my life. other times my bro is what makes me sad, cause i cant see how will things go when hes an adult, i cant see if a girl will want to live with me having to have my bro in my house as if he was our big kid. dunno, there are so many things that i cant imagine in the future...
------------------ http://www.angelfire.com/anime2/memnoch/ertai.gif "Let my spells do the dirty work" Ertai, High Sorceror of the Holy Flame |
Well this has been a sudden need that ive felt for writing down most of my problems. I dont want people to understand or pity me, its just that im not in a good moment now (neither its the worse in my life) and ive felt that i had to write.
I encourage you to open yourselves and write here whatever you want, it helps. Thanks a lot to all from the board, for making it special enough to allow and respect this kind of posts, and specially to Wendy. Without her probably i wouldnt have posted this (i was so afraid). I wanna thank Rikard, Siem, Sarah and Michael too for they´ve been very helpful and kind when ive needed them. ------------------ http://www.angelfire.com/anime2/memnoch/ertai.gif "Let my spells do the dirty work" Ertai, High Sorceror of the Holy Flame |
Javi,
Oh sweet Javi! You sound depressed, and believe me, I've been there. Sometimes when we are feeling low, all those other things start to surface and they can boil up out of control. Javi, I've been crying almost non-stop for three days! Yah, me, CloudJoy! It happens to all of us now and then, honest! That you are worrying about these things, well, that tells me you are not 'insane'. It tells me you are troubled and that's a bit different. Javi, I'm no expert, so I can't really go on and on in some sort of psychoanalysis, but I can say without a shadow of a doubt that you are warm, friendly, intelligent and caring. You take pride in your work and helping others. I have been fond of you since the day you told me about making a sig for this board! I don't post over in your forum much,never having played beyond the very beginning of BG1, so we don't see each other much, but I will always chat with you, mage of my early days! And uh, last time I looked, I was a girl, so there! Girls talk to you! Not much of step beyond talking and you get to the relationships and such. And I for one, see you having much to offer anyone you get to know. Cloudy ------------------ http://publish.hometown.aol.com/tobb...s/bestow~1.jpg Raindancer of the Laughing Hyenas Clan Storm-Queen StormCloud of the Black Knight Heart Mind Soul Forever |
You're a special, intelligent...nay...very special, highly intelligent man my friend. Don't try to solve tommorrows problems today, they'll arrive in their own good time. If you mentally solve the issues that haven't yet arrived you will only fill their spaces with new ones. Deal with todays stuff today, sleep easier tonight and IF and only IF new issues find you tommorrow deal with them then. Try to be at peace with yourself Ertai. One love my friend, one love.
------------------ One love, peace. |
Peace to you, my brother Ertai...
I was walking back to my apartment composing a similar thread in my head, because of something I just saw. I'll post it in a bit. I had a very deep relationship with my mother. She kept me alive when doctors told her I was dying. So it hurt me badly when I couldn't do the same. My mother found the cancer in 1996, and she passed away in 1998, a very young 60yrs old. Bourbon, the newbie on the board, has known me IRL for about 13 yrs. He was there, and can vouch for what happened. I fell into a horrible depression. For 2 yrs, my physical and mental health dropped. I lost my job, and my self-respect, and some of my friends because of it. It took awhile, but the strength of character that we build comes through in the end. I've enjoyed everything you've written here, and know you are a great person. It shows in how you express yourself. I'm glad you posted this. I had to go to couseling, and though I never recommend it to people, it helped me. For the simple fact that they helped me understand that the feelings I was fighting were NATURAL. Don't be afraid, or ashamed, of them. Listen to them, and your inner-voice will lead you to growth. I am glad you shared this with us. I look forward to reading more of your thoughts. The PensiveDawg http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...les/ponder.gif ------------------ http://publish.hometown.aol.com/tobb...s/rudedawg.jpg http://www.phpshop.net/images/bg2guy/cov09.jpg The RudeDawg Known in these Forgotten Realms as Perin LightEyes and my girlfriends, Pamila and Phil [This message has been edited by RudeDawg (edited 05-06-2001).] |
Javi, I always enjoy our chats on MSN messenger and you don't seem the way you described yourself. It is natural to have a lot of conflicts and emotions at your age, I changed completely between the ages of 19 and 22. If you make friends easily, which I know you do, deep down uyou must be a helluva guy, so don't worry too much at the strange thoughts you have from time to time, they will pass.
Cloudy's, Charlie's and Rudedawgs answers are also valid, so don't let it get you down. We can chat tomorrow in more depth. http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...miles/wink.gif ------------------ http://www.angelfire.com/rpg/stealthy/Stealthy.gif My doctor told me to eat more, but all this spam hasn't helped. Click here for the album site. Shadow Mage of the OHF. Funny Bone of the LH |
Ertai, my friend,
I grew up depressed, brought about by a hateful and abusive mother and siblings that tortured me (locking me in a closet all day or tying me to a tree outside, scaring me to sleep every night) and played on her hatred for me (I am the only one of us that looks like our father who was not always there). I understood where her hate came from since she reminded me almost constantly but I didn't get how a mother could hate her own child or how brothers and sisters could be so cruel when they all spoke amongst themselves of how important "family" is and how "family" is all you have. Top that off with the fact that she was the "town witch" in a small town and people were afraid of us, kids and adults alike. Man did I ever feel alone. The only friends I made were those who were brave enough to befriend the witch's daughter and even braver to return to the witch's house more than once (once most of them saw her "evil eye" they never came back or wanted to talk to me anymore). It took some determination when I was 24 years old to get my act together when I found myself divorcing for the second time, near dead from an auto accident with a small child who had only me to depend on, and truly on my own for the first time in my life. I studied Psychology to find out what was so wrong with me and in the process I learned a lot about being human~the human "animal" that we all are...having feelings, the way we chose to (or not to) react on them and how we can carry aroung resentment and guilt that sometimes does not belong to us, but rather to the people we have in our lives. I think that I am a very happy person (except on those days when I am reminded that my dad passed away last year without me getting to hug him in twenty years). Depression is a very easy thing to fall into and a very hard thing to get out of because it LITERALLY creates its own chemicals in your brain. Keeping it there and feeding it by letting your emotions get the better of you is a sure way to end up whacked. Drugs don't help, they only make it worse. Medications mask it and turn it into something else, at least that is what I saw with people I knew who took legal drugs for their depression. I would rather be mentally healthy than put into a false state of mind by drugs of any sort, life is a whole lot easier to understand and deal with. Some of the things I learned in dealing with MY life are: #1) Let go of all the bad feelings you are hanging onto about yourself that someone else pointed out. They don't exist and belong to the person (or persons) who brought them to life. (Like my mother and my sister told me all the time that I was stupid and ugly...I'm neither!) #2) Take the things that you think are bad about yourself, the things that YOU brought to life and do away with them by making them "history" (Like lying just don't, you will learn how valuable the truth really is~you'll also be able to have more respect for yourself~that's why I left my first husband, he just lied about anything and everything, as nice as he was I did not respect him for it) #3) Don't try to deal with all your problems at once...take those that you CAN do something about and do something about them so that they are no longer a problem (small things, big things, anything you can do something about, you know?). At the same time, take those problems that you CAN'T do anything about right now and set them aside. They will be there waiting for you to deal with WHEN YOUY CAN...in the meantime, you CAN'T, so don't even try! #4) Don't dwell on what makes other people happy (except, of course, your brother) but instead, do what makes YOU happy when you need to...if those other people are your friends, they'll either do it with you or be there when you get back. A true friend understands that your time is your time and that when you spend it together, it is something special & not a necessity for them to live (this gets rid of clingy people that need to deal with their own lives instead of trying to live yours...you don't need it but can still offer them companionship if and when you have the time). #5) Don't sweat the small stuff, no one really cares! #6) Be true to yourself. If you don't like your surroundings or the present situation you are in, do something to fix it or change it but DO SOMETHING! Eat a healthy diet and exercise...exercise, no matter how little you may do a day is a sure way to rid your body of STRESS, something you DON'T need! The healthy diet will get rid of all the weird crap you get out of junk food and will allow your body to function on a "real" level rather than one that is pumped up on un-nautral ingredients~take sour cream for example...you eat the store brand or the "other kind"? Read the labels and compare them, you'll be suprised at the difference! It's all this little stuff that makes YOU feel better and be able to think straighter, handle stressful situations easier and basically be able to cope on a daily basis with whatever life throws your way. #7) Live every minute as if it is your last~it just could be! Make happiness a priority and sadness will eventually seem alien. Soon enough you will attract people of a like mind and you will find someone who will fall in love with you as quickly as you do them and you'll find that there are people out there who don't mind the fact that your life has to include your brother and they will be there with you to help you carry the load. You need people who care in your life but the first step is caring abiout yourself. Not saying that to be judgemental, but saying it because I experienced it and everything in my life is pretty wonderful, right down to the grandfather in this home, who can't always take care of himself and needs me to be there to help. http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...miles/wink.gif Love, Hugs & Peace, Moni http://members.aol.com/lasttrueprincess/images/ltp4.gif |
Javi, just a quick note, I'm here at work but will email you later today.
Cheer up, bro! http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...iles/smile.gif ------------------ http://www.angelfire.com/anime2/memnoch/genwalk.gif http://www.angelfire.com/anime2/memnoch/memname.GIF |
Memsy? He did, a bit. msn'd a few minutes with the him.
Simbul ------------------ http://publish.hometown.aol.com/tobb...s/bestow~1.jpg Raindancer of the Laughing Hyenas Clan Storm-Queen StormCloud of the Black Knight Heart Mind Soul Forever |
Dear Moni,
I know we've talked so much about your past, and it moves me every time I read it, knowing what you've come through. How much like one of the folk tales your life story is! Even in this day and age. Maybe that's why those old tales are so timeless...they still have meaning, especially for abused children at the whims of wicked parent. Ertai: what Moni says is true. There is no guarantee to life. We simply play it the best way we know how. Looking for the good in the dross is a hard task, but one that does pay off. I've come to appreciate life so much more now, especially since I faced death last year and came through that. I don't think you're insane. More than likely, you are highly sensitive, especially to your environment and to others around you. You more than likely pick up their feelings and possibly their thoughts, and internalize them as your own, and when you can't rectify them, you think it's crazy. In a way it is, but it is not you. If it's any comfort, we've all gone through feelings of being unworthy or being unloved. At least I have. Most people have felt inadequate or insecure from time to time. The important thing to remember is that you're not alone, and that every being is loveable, no matter what their circumstances. Just from reading your missive, I feel very strongly disposed toward you. Anyone who can feel and express the way you do has great treasure inside them. Look for it, you'll definitely find it! Your true friends will help you do this, too. Warm hugs, http://www.wizardrealm.com/images/saz1.gif |
Sazerac, Thank you very much. http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...iles/smile.gif
Ertai, with a P.S. I would like to add that even though we are not close and I know nothing more personal about you than what you have posted here, I HAVE read things here in GD that you have posted and never once did the word "stupid" cross my mind. On the contrary, I think you are funny, and more intelligent than the world around you. Embrace that. http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...iles/smile.gif One of the stories I related to Sazerac ond others (I think it somewhere in the W&W Forum actually) was how I was labeled a "genius child" by teachers and people who tested I.Q's when I was very young. I had a photographic memory and was reading out of encyclopedias before I was even in school. I spent my first four years in school teaching other kids how to read, write and do math. In a heartbeat, with the tossing of a rock off a cliff and me being in the wrong place at the wrong time, that "level of intelligence" was taken away from me via a fractured skull and the inability to remember things I read and my thoughts being scattered at times. I still feel like the kid that could remember it all and I still think like that kid on good days but it can be tough here and there, esp when I am enjoying a book and I put it down for a few and don't remember the story when I pick it up again. LOL You're VERY smart and that intelligence is intact...I know it can be a burden as much as it can be a blessing with all the thinking you do and the places your thoughts take you but you seem to have the desire to take it all to a better place in life and that, my friend, is the start of changes for the better. http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...es/biggrin.gif Moni http://members.aol.com/lasttrueprincess/images/ltp4.gif [This message has been edited by Moni (edited 05-07-2001).] |
Ertai,
I don't know you very well but I understand how you feel. I feel much the same way everyday. I do not think you are insane or stupid. I have posted my feelings before and it does help alot. There are so many things about myself that I keep inside and I am afraid to share. I am glad it has helped you to share how you feel. You have many friends here and I know we are all here for you when you need them. Take care and be well. ------------------ http://publish.hometown.aol.com/tobb...ages/mista.jpg Draconia, Dragon Queen |
Moni: I know how you feel. When I got out of the hospital last year, the drugs that I had been given were still working on me. When I got back to work, one of the most terrifying experiences I had was when I couldn't remember how to unload a driver file from a computer. I had to leave the room and go sit in the bathroom stall, holding myself and crying in terror.
Eventually, my memory did return completely intact, as did my moods. I was on prednisone for a while, which really swung my moods around like crazy last summer. Oh well! http://www.wizardrealm.com/images/saz1.gif |
Hi Ertai!
Good to see, sad to see you in sorrows.. Well, feelings and fears do attack you when you´re down. No fault in it. To have fears and admit that they´re there and are realis a progress to start to fight them. You have as I a background in martial arts and you too I guess have had fears before entering a fight in a tournament. How did you beat your fears then? Or did you loose because of them. fears and thoughts are connected deeply and they´re there to tell you that something is wrong. Don´t have to be forever, only that you maybe are to deep in thoughts over something bro! So take your time. Think, and beat them. I have talked to you alot and I haven´t seen a weak person but strong and sensitive. To dare to be sensitive and to dare to care, man that is toughness. To be cold, is to be weak cause you can´t confront your softer and deeper feelings. So you´re not to fear of that friend! Well hopefully I´ll catch you online soon friend!! And hey, tears are good, they´re are cleansing your soul. It is better to cry than not. I know, I couldn´t cry for almost two years, and when it burst, well it felt good. So man tears are a good thing, that means you´re human!! Cheers friend! ------------------ http://wolfgir.najk.net/name.gif WOLF WINS EVERY FIGHT BUT ONE, AND IN THAT ONE, HE DIES |
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http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...es/biggrin.gif Moni http://members.aol.com/lasttrueprincess/images/ltp4.gif |
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------------------ http://wolfgir.najk.net/name.gif WOLF WINS EVERY FIGHT BUT ONE, AND IN THAT ONE, HE DIES |
wow!
I am pretty blown away by what you wrote there Javi... You sound a lot like me, so even though you say you don't want people to understand you, I find myself relating to you greatly. I get pretty depressed at times (And I know everyone does), but the worst thing for me, is that I often can't even think why I am depressed. I have periods (somewhat psychotic) when I can't act normally, and I mumble unspeakble things to myself. The next day I might be fine, and will be very happy... its sorta like a roller coaster... I can't help but point out that you spelt Manic wrong... It's one of those weird translation thingies, because what you actually typed was Maniac Depression... Maniac meaning (and I am quoting a dictionary) - Raving Lunatic hehe! http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...es/biggrin.gif Now that isn't you is it? Don't be offended by it, its just very funny! lol ------------------ http://kung_lao.tripod.com/sylent_05.gif http://kung_lao.tripod.com/1.gif "Watch your back" |
Thanks to all for your warm replies !! I went to bed soon after posting this thread, and ive get up this morning thinking that i was going to delete it as soon as i could, but your posts have convinced me.
However, i would like to say some things. Im not specially depressed now (im just sad cause ive got one of these pesky love problems http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...iles/smile.gif), i posted this just cause i felt that i had to wrote down, exteriorize (?) all (well, almost all) of my feelings. Some of them ive never talked about them with anybody, even my closest friend, whom i love a lot. Sometimes its easies to tell problems to unknown people (with all the respect, i love all of you but a RL friend is different), just like when you visit a psychiatrist. Think about it, whats a psychiatrist ? Just a person you dont know and listens to whatever you have to tell him/her. Moni: You´re great !! Smiles have come to my face while reading your posts http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...iles/smile.gif, youve touched me ! Wolfgir: Thanks for your words too ! About the championships, ive always felt nervous BEFORE having one (while i was still warming), but when i enter the court i feel quite calmed. Sylent: hehe, sure its funny ! I dont know how it is in english. The illness i talk about is the one Mr Jones has in that film, its when you have lotsa mood changes, and very strong (once you feel SO happy and suddenly you feel depressed). Sazerac: man, that sounds really hard. Im glad to see that you are OK now, man !! http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...iles/smile.gif Well, in general, to all of you, THANKS A LOT again. I dont think there is another forum like this in the world, fulled of intelligent, kind and helpful people. Love you all ------------------ http://www.angelfire.com/anime2/memnoch/ertai.gif "Let my spells do the dirty work" Ertai, High Sorceror of the Holy Flame |
{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Ertai}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
Glad you are feeling better today! http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...es/biggrin.gif Hugs! Moni http://members.aol.com/lasttrueprincess/images/ltp4.gif |
Javi, since we spoke on MSN I won't post anything more here - until it's time for ME to share something. http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...miles/wink.gif
Glad to know you're in good spirits though. http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...iles/smile.gif ------------------ http://www.angelfire.com/anime2/memnoch/genwalk.gif http://www.angelfire.com/anime2/memnoch/memname.GIF |
HEHE you´ll know Mem !! its your experiences, you gotta decide if you wanna share them with all the board or not. I wont tell you to do it, as even if it has helped me a lot writing this, sometimes i think i shouldnt have posted this thread, its not easy to open your mind and heart to so many people. Whatever you decide, ill be with you my friend http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...iles/smile.gif
PS: to anyone posting, i recommend writing in "brainstorm", just type what comes to your head. At least it worked fine for me cause i could feel how emotions came out as i was writing. After finishing i didnt even rewrite stuff (even if some things might look confusing), i thought it would be better to leave it "natural". Thanks to all again !! http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...iles/smile.gif ------------------ http://www.angelfire.com/anime2/memnoch/ertai.gif There are mists in the dark There are shadows in the fog The shapes are blurred like nightmares... Are you alive ? |
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I write short stories (compiling a book I want published before or when I die) and this is the "method" http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...miles/wink.gif I usually use. As a matter of fact, my best stories (the ones that raise the hairs on people's necks and really make them think) were written this way and never needed editing or "touching up". It is a great way to spill out what is in your heart and get it all out by the time you are done! http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...es/biggrin.gif Moni http://members.aol.com/lasttrueprincess/images/ltp4.gif |
I'm at home now
I think I'll open up when i get to school (i have to go in about 5 minutes) I only hope i won't start to cry what i did do almost everytime when i tried to talk about my problems In any case Javi You know I'll be there for you As you are a true friend to me ------------------ http://www.phpshop.net/images/rikard/rikard2.gif The Githyanki Necromancer - High Magician of the Holy Flame |
I have pretty major mood swings, really high, and really low...
I usually like to write, I find it is pretty good to get feelings down on paper, in which ever style it may be. Either that, or I like to "try" and draw, and I say try, because I am not very good at it. I also play guitar, which is great fun, it also cheers me up a lot of the time, which is great. I guess it is a pretty strange (unusual) hobby for someone of my age, but I play classical. Music by Bach, or Villa-Lobos. It is like Magik to me, I really love it... You all seem to be in contact with each other via msn... my hotmail email addy is wild_cage@hotmail.com , so if any of you want to contact me, I would like it very much! ------------------ http://kung_lao.tripod.com/sylent_05.gif http://kung_lao.tripod.com/1.gif "Watch your back" |
Well I'm at school right now and I have a free houre so I'll tell you all the story of my life and the history of the "depression" right now (in any case if you know somone who is overly happy send him to this thread and this will cure him for live.)
I'm 16 years old now And to be honest I have never had i True friend someone who posses all the stuff that i think a "true" friend needs Weither that is by fault of my own or just because there's nobody like me in my area Nescio but in any case this is something that hurt me very much becoz I need someone Who I can talk to and with who I can share my feelings. Finding normal friends have never een the problem I always the positive side of people and I am fast to liking someone. But letting people in your heart so fast also means it's easy for them to really hurt you from the inside And that is what happend last couple of weeks/months. People i saw as being friends couldn't help me through my bad periodes and I don't think they really wanted to cause all they said was that i was ovrreacting Maybe I was but who will tell I think if you are a friend you really need to help your friend nomatter if he is overreacting. Basicly the last couple of weeks has made me think about my life i ame to the simple conclusion except for my family nobody really cares about me. I have had small periodes of suicidal thoughts and I think if i would have gone thrugh with those plans people will feel bad coz it happend but would move on without me and forget all about me now when i do talk about my problem to my friend they tell me that either i ovrreact (as stated before) or that I misinturpratate and that what they did wasn't meant that way or that they are sorry for what they did To be honest I think that is pure bullshit If you are a friend you should be able to know what the othr thinks and you should be sensitive towards his feeling. I always do that i never really talk to fast I always try to take other peoples feelings in concideration but when i comes to me this is To ■■■■■■■ hard for people It has been a chain reaction that lead me to where i am now As i started out with a small loveproblem i found out i don't have any good friends and I never really had any good friends Doesn't it say enough i consider Javi to be one of my best friends? (cause i do and you never doubt that again) Someone who i never really seen or spoken for real? And to me this is worse then anything else could ever be I dunno if you have read this I dunno if you would care But i had to say this ------------------ http://www.phpshop.net/images/rikard/rikard2.gif The Githyanki Necromancer - High Magician of the Holy Flame |
Rikard, I read it, and I cared...
I know there is not much I can do, because really, I think what most people need, is to talk to someone who knows the situation well, but I (and I am sure there are others) am always willing to listen. I have (and knowone probably noticed, because it was in the poll section) sat down, feeling like complete shit, and typed what I was feeling - pretty much totally. Even if knowone was reading it, or caring, it felt good to write down what I was feeling. It helped me to organise things in my head, and I was able to deal with them a little better. Don't give up mate, your family care, and we on the forum certainly do! Glenn ------------------ http://kung_lao.tripod.com/sylent_05.gif http://kung_lao.tripod.com/1.gif "Watch your back" |
Nopt about to give up sylent
Not egoďstic enough to something to myself That's the basic thing Indeed just writing down your problems help a lot But talking about it helps even more I wish I could ------------------ http://www.phpshop.net/images/rikard/rikard2.gif The Githyanki Necromancer - High Magician of the Holy Flame |
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------------------ http://www.phpshop.net/images/rikard/rikard2.gif The Githyanki Necromancer - High Magician of the Holy Flame |
Rikard,
I read it and I care! You have friends here who will listen and do whatever they can to alleviate any bad feekings you have. You have to understand re: your friends that 16 year olds on a whole are not that mature and it will be years before some of them understand the depth and sincerity of your feelings. In the meantime, consider what the ones said who you do think are mature (and deep enough) to really see the situation from your perspective. Not that you should cave and take their advice or accept that you are overreacting (becuse I know in your heart you don't feel like you are), but it will give you a chance to take a deeper look at what happened and how you are feeling about it, how important it is now and how important it will be ten years from now. In the meantime, don't let the stress of it fill you with negativity, find other things to do and I bet the answer will come to you all by itself. Love, Hugs & Peace, Moni http://members.aol.com/lasttrueprincess/images/ltp4.gif |
Hm thanks Moni for caring
I just want to add one thing I'm on the Gymnasium Which is the highest school anyone could go to in Holland about not sure about this but about 10% goes to Gymnasium With my friends there are people who are on Het Jongeren Lagerhuis which is a discussion program on TV People who are trying to go to the European Jouth Parlement to discuss and who are in youth departments of Polital things These people do know how to be mature mostly but still... maybe I'm just Paranoid and if i am Javi you have a bad influence on me 8D j/k ------------------ http://www.phpshop.net/images/rikard/rikard2.gif The Githyanki Necromancer - High Magician of the Holy Flame |
Rikard,
Well I hope you did not misunderstand me and think that I was calling YOU immature, on the contrary, actually...it takes maturity to recognize you even have a problem and even more to bring it out into the open to discuss it and find a viable solution! I don't know all the details and I won't pry but do know that you can count on us to stand by you in times of need. http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...iles/smile.gif In the meantime, like I said (in so may words lol), don't let the stress take over...the answer will come to you probably when you least expect it. http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...es/biggrin.gif Moni http://members.aol.com/lasttrueprincess/images/ltp4.gif P.S. I forgot to add this re: the school you attend and how highly you may respect your peers for their level of intelligence: Just because people are smart does not mean that they possess common sense...some of the most intelligent people I know personally, including an electrical engineer who has been spotlighted on the Discovery Channel, lack the ability to count small numbers without using their fingers to help them along! (Just stating a simple example of what I am trying to get across here) Common sense is a necessity when solving personal problems without making them a lot worse before a solution is found. http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...miles/wink.gif http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...es/biggrin.gif Hugs! [This message has been edited by Moni (edited 05-08-2001).] |
Hey Rikard man, youre so nice and if the people around you cant see that, well, what can i say, FUCK´EM ALL !! (Pardon for this one but i had to say it). You know I´ll always be there for you !
Anyway, its just the life, you know it sucks, you can do nothing but stay and wait for better times... Up and down, rollercoaster life. I only expect not to fall from an upper part of it ------------------ http://www.angelfire.com/anime2/memnoch/ertai.gif There are mists in the dark There are shadows in the fog The shapes are blurred like nightmares... Are you alive ? |
its human to feel that way... and insanity is if you do not know what you are doing is already senseless... meaning you think its normal, but man, it aint. we tend to lose control, and we know it. if we cannot rationalize anymore that part... thats insanity. we rationalize to keep ourselves sane, we adapt, try our best to run or be content with the situation. thats is because the mere fact is all too paiful to handle... wow what am i saying. i am destroying myself. for i know that the fact, the reality is all too paiful too handle and yet i still do it.
------------------ http://publish.hometown.aol.com/tobb...es/bahamut.gif http://www.123imagehost.com/images/s...y/chiharu1.gif I am Bahamut... and this Chiharu. |
True insanity lies in one, who does not realise that he has a problem...
so y'all aren't insane (at least I don't think so http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...iles/smile.gif) I can pretty much understand what you are saying rikard, a lot of my friends do not seem to understand, or particularly care that I might be going through a shit time. I think the thing I need most at these times, is someone to talk to about it. A lot of the time though, I just hide away and ignore people, which is probably a pretty bad thing to do. Anyway, just for the record, I enjoyed our little chats on msn... (not meaning to sound sucky either) ------------------ http://kung_lao.tripod.com/sylent_05.gif http://kung_lao.tripod.com/1.gif "Watch your back" |
on that topic, I am glad to say, I have two true friends! and I mean: true! one is a guy named Andrew, he is my classmate, dormmate, teammate, playmate. more importantly, he is my model! he is intelligent, and he actually cares to correct my wrongs, and point them out for me! we shared a lot of things, and we were happy when we were together. now he is at Tai-wan, and I am USA, but he is still my true friends. true gold does not fade because of aging!
|
Lucky bastard http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...les/tongue.gif
------------------ http://www.phpshop.net/images/rikard/rikard2.gif The Githyanki Necromancer - High Magician of the Holy Flame |
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