Ok, I needed a breather from heavy thought and serious discussion/rebuttals. Please add your fun/silly/inane but not TOTAL SPAM! to this thread. Cute sayings, funny riddles, or re-worked nursery rhymes such as the following, gratefully appreciated! Famous Quotes? Anything along those lines! (Deep sigh)....I feel better already! http://www.tgeweb.com/ironworks/cgi-.../partygirl.gif


Little Miss Muffet sat on a tuffet, Her clothes all tattered and torn, It
had not been the spider that crept up beside her, But Little Boy Blue and
his horn.

There was this little girl, who had a little curl Right in the middle of her
forehead And when she was good, she was very good And when she was bad she
got a fur coat, jewels, a sports car....

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall Humpty Dumpty had a great fall All the kings
horses and all the kings men Had scrambled eggs on toast for breakfast.

Hickory dickory dock Three mice ran up the clock The clock struck one, And
the others got away with minor injuries.

Hey diddle, diddle, The cat did a piddle, All over the bedside clock The
little dog laughed to see such fun And the cat died of electric shock.


Cloudbringer, too tense today


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http://www.angelfire.com/anime2/memn...y/bkflower.gif Storm-Queen
Purple Rose of the Black Knight

heh heh heh mother goose will never be the same. go look on the political thread for your poem http://www.tgeweb.com/ironworks/cgi-...es/biggrin.gif

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When given a choice, take both.
http://angelfire.lycos.com/rpg/stealthy/mummy.gif

shakespeare, macbeth

this is where lady macduff and her 'chickens were to be slaughtered...

the son says sort of like this...

(SON being stabbed and stabbed, blah)
SON: Mother!!! I have died, run away while you can!

stupid. stupid. how can you die when you still speak twerp!


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http://publish.hometown.aol.com/tobb...s/sephlove.gif
Tifa loves her Cloud, Squall loves his Rinoa, Sephiroth... loves his Masamune.:)

Griever! HAHAHAHA very amusing!!! btw, I liked Bahamut as a nick-why the switch?

JJ...I saw..http://www.tgeweb.com/ironworks/cgi-...es/biggrin.gif Thank you!

oh and I don't take credit as author of the mother goose...someone sent to me


Cloudykins

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http://www.angelfire.com/anime2/memn...y/bkflower.gif Storm-Queen
Purple Rose of the Black Knight

[This message has been edited by Cloudbringer (edited 03-11-2001).]

i dont know, bahamut sounded stinky and stuff, i am thinking about putting up a thread bout which nick you liked the most between these two, but if it was bahamut, id hate switching, all my sweat and pain will be nothing... hehe

as for the nick switch, the answer above and this sounds more mature, more intimate, more sad. hehe the sad part can go away... i just like its coolness more than it pleases me with bahamut... but bahamuts my main nick. i like this dragon. http://www.tgeweb.com/ironworks/cgi-...es/biggrin.gif

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http://publish.hometown.aol.com/tobb...s/sephlove.gif
Tifa loves her Cloud, Squall loves his Rinoa, Sephiroth... loves his Masamune.:)

To find answers, hang upside down in font of a mirror until you have a vison, or pass out, it's pretty much the same.

When the light shines shadows only grow darker.

Is this world a dream, and if so what is the dreamer thinking?

If the universe created us as a riddle, can it solve it.

If in the past's the futures is the preasant, and we always eixst in the presant how can the future exist?

Do we live our lives or is everything we exprince just memories of what happened?

If other life exists why must it breath oxygen?

Is what we see real or just how our minds interpurt it?

When you look in a mirror is it you really looking back.



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http://www.angelfire.com/yt2/gabe/images/angel

poetry in motion when gabriel speaks... haaay... http://www.tgeweb.com/ironworks/cgi-...es/biggrin.gif

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http://publish.hometown.aol.com/tobb...s/sephlove.gif
Tifa loves her Cloud, Squall loves his Rinoa, Sephiroth... loves his Masamune.:)

Dedicated to JJ (snicker, chuckle snorkedysnork) HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Several friends have sent me variations on a theme near and dear to my heart....here you are...ENJOY this everyone! I personally have used several of these responses...hehehe

Twenty Responses to Use With Telemarketers

1. If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for
bankruptcy and you could sure use some money.

2. If they start out with, "How are you today?" say, "I'm so
glad you asked, because no one these days seems to care, and I have all
these problems. My arthritis is acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my
dog just died . . . "

3. If they say they're John Doe from XYZ Company, ask them to
spell their name. Then ask them to spell the company name. Then ask
them where it is located, how long it has been in business, how many
people work there, how they got into this line of work if they
are married, how many kids they have, etc. Continue asking them
personal questions or questions about their company for as long as
necessary.

4. This works great if you are male. Telemarketer: "Hi, my name
is Judy and I'm with XYZ Company. " You: Wait for a second and
with a real husky voice ask, "What are you wearing?"

5. Cry out in surprise, "Judy? Is that you? Oh my God! Judy,
how have you been?" Hopefully, this will give Judy a few brief moments
of terror as she tries to figure out where she could know you
from.

6. Say "No" over and over. Be sure to vary the sound of each
one, and keep a rhythmic tempo, even as they are trying to speak. This
is most fun if you can do it until they hang up.

7. If MCI calls trying to get you to sign up for the Family and
Friends Plan, reply, in as sinister a voice as you can, "I
don't have any friends, would you be my friend?"

8. If the company cleans rugs, respond: "Can you get out blood?
Can you get out goat blood? How about human blood?"

9. After the Telemarketer gives his or her spiel, ask him or
her to marry you. When they get all flustered, tell them that you
can't just give your credit card number to a complete stranger.

10. Tell the Telemarketer that you work for the same company,
and they can't sell to employees.

11. Answer the phone. As soon as you realize it is a Telemarketer,
set the receiver down, scream, "Oh my God!" and then hang up.

12. Tell the Telemarketer you are busy at the moment and ask
him/her if he/she will give you his/her home phone number so you can
call him/her back. When the Telemarketer explains that Telemarketers
cannot give out their home numbers say, "I guess you don't want
anyone bothering you at home, right?" The Telemarketer will
agree and you say, "Me either!" Hang up.

13. Ask them to repeat everything they say, several times.

14. Tell them it is dinner time, but ask if they would please
hold. Put them on your speaker phone while you continue to eat at
your leisure. Smack your food loudly and continue with your dinner
conversation.

15. Tell the Telemarketer you are on "home incarceration" and
ask if they could bring you some beer.

16. Ask them to fax the information to you, and make up a
number.

17. Tell the Telemarketer, "Okay, I'll listen to you. But I
should probably tell you, I'm not wearing any clothes."

18. Insist that the caller is really your buddy Leon, playing a
joke. "Come on, Leon, cut it out! Seriously, Leon, how's your
momma?"

19. Tell them you are hard of hearing and that they need to
speak up . . . louder . . . louder . . .

20. Tell them to talk very slowly, because you want to write
every word down.

NOTICE: The above have all been tested and approved for use on
Telemarketers. No animals were harmed in the testing.



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http://www.angelfire.com/anime2/memn...y/bkflower.gif Storm-Queen
Purple Rose of the Black Knight

CLoudy here some I used to get rid of them.

1)(only works if their sell window/doors) No I live in a cave.

2)That intresting but I have to ask Bob, Bob what do you thin of it.
(put on a different voice)I think [persons name] sound nice i wonder what she tastes like. (Contuine to tell off bob agrue etc if the don't hag up.)

3)once they induce them selves say," No your not your the CIA trying to read my thoghts, but I got my hat on, You never know my serects and laugh insanly.

4)My favorite tell them that your not the owner of the house and when they ask to speak with them tell them that the owner can't speak because they are tided up in the bathroom right now.

hardee har har http://www.tgeweb.com/ironworks/cgi-...es/biggrin.gif

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When given a choice, take both.
http://angelfire.lycos.com/rpg/stealthy/mummy.gif

Gabriel...FUNNY!!! hehehe

Cloudy

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http://www.angelfire.com/anime2/memn...y/bkflower.gif Storm-Queen
Purple Rose of the Black Knight

cloudsylph, check yer mail

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When given a choice, take both.
http://angelfire.lycos.com/rpg/stealthy/mummy.gif

It's often said that if you drop a piece of toast it always lands butter side down on the floor.

If you drop a cat it always lands on it's feet.

What happens if you strap a piece of toast, butter side up onto the back of a cat and drop them from a height?

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The Truth is in the Profile

You'll go to jail. http://www.tgeweb.com/ironworks/cgi-...es/biggrin.gif

[This message has been edited by Gabriel (edited 03-11-2001).]

Why is Abbreviated such a long word?

When you send Styrofoam somewhere, what do you package it in?

I could go on . . .

BK

Why is dyslexic so hard to spell?

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The Truth is in the Profile

LOL Donut ! Funny as always.

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http://user.tninet.se/~csx358e/mbpix...ketches005.JPG

How does the bloke who drives a snow plough get to work in the morning?
Why is abbreviated such a long word?
Why do kamikaze pilots wear crash helmets?
Why is there only one monopolies comission?

I could go on..........and on............and on http://www.tgeweb.com/ironworks/cgi-...es/biggrin.gif

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One love, peace.

Just nicked this off of my brothers website. Posted by his mate Coda regarding strange labelling etc.

On a blanket from Taiwan -
NOT TO BE USED AS PROTECTION FROM A TORNADO.

On a helmet mounted mirror used by US cyclists -
REMEMBER, OBJECTS IN THE MIRROR ARE ACTUALLY
BEHIND YOU.

On a Taiwanese shampoo -
USE REPEATEDLY FOR SEVERE DAMAGE.

On the bottle-top of a (UK) flavoured milk drink -
AFTER OPENING, KEEP UPRIGHT.

On a New Zealand insect spray -
THIS PRODUCT NOT TESTED ON ANIMALS.

In a US guide to setting up a new computer -
TO AVOID CONDENSATION FORMING, ALLOW THE BOXES
TO WARM UP TO ROOM TEMPERATURE BEFORE OPENING.
(Sensible, but the instruction was INSIDE
the box.)

On a Japanese product used to relieve painful haemorrhoids -
LIE DOWN ON BED AND INSERT POSCOOL SLOWLY UP TO THE
PROJECTED PORTION LIKE A SWORD-GUARD INTO ANAL
DUCT. WHILE INSERTING POSCOOL FOR APPROXIMATELY 5
MINUTES, KEEP QUIET.

In some countries, on the bottom of Coke bottles -
OPEN OTHER END.

On a packet of Sunmaid raisins -
WHY NOT TRY TOSSING OVER YOUR FAVOURITE
BREAKFAST CEREAL?

On a Sears hairdryer -
DO NOT USE WHILE SLEEPING.

On a bag of Fritos -
YOU COULD BE A WINNER! NO PURCHASE NECESSARY.
DETAILS INSIDE.
(The shoplifter special!)

On a bar of Dial soap -
DIRECTIONS - USE LIKE REGULAR SOAP.
(And that would be how?)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom of the box) -
DO NOT TURN UPSIDE DOWN.
(Too late! You lose!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding -
PRODUCT WILL BE HOT AFTER HEATING.
(Are you sure? Let's experiment.)

On a Korean kitchen knife -
WARNING: KEEP OUT OF CHILDREN.
(Dammit! Who are they to tell me what to do with my kids?)

On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights -
FOR INDOOR OR OUTDOOR USE ONLY.
(As opposed to use in outer space?)

On a Japanese food processor -
NOT TO BE USED FOR THE OTHER USE.
(Now I'm curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts -
WARNING - CONTAINS NUTS.
(Really? And that's bad why?)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts
INSTRUCTIONS - OPEN PACKET, EAT NUTS.
(I'm glad they cleared that up.)

On a Swedish chainsaw -
DO NOT ATTEMPT TO STOP CHAIN WITH YOUR HANDS OR
GENITALS.
(What kind of consumer phone-call led to this warning?)

On a child's superman costume -
WEARING OF THIS GARMENT DOES NOT ENABLE YOU TO
FLY.
(That's right, destroy a universal childhood fantasy!)

On some frozen dinners:
SERVING SUGGESTION: DEFROST.

On a hotel provided shower cap in a box:
FITS ONE HEAD.

On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
DO NOT IRON CLOTHES ON BODY.

On Boot's "Children's" cough medicine:
DO NOT DRIVE CAR OR OPERATE MACHINERY.

On Nytol sleep aid:
WARNING: MAY CAUSE DROWSINESS.

Cracked me right up http://www.tgeweb.com/ironworks/cgi-...es/biggrin.gif


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One love, peace.

LOL Charlie !
Are these really true ?

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http://user.tninet.se/~csx358e/mbpix...ketches005.JPG

Apparently so Moiraine although I couldn't vouch for them personally
....Abbreviated is a long word though http://www.tgeweb.com/ironworks/cgi-...iles/smile.gif

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One love, peace.

Some time ago, the French railroad company (SNCF) wanted to test the new high-speed train (TGV) front window resistance when hit by birds. So they borrowed an idea coming from England, which consisted in throwing chicken on the train window with a special cannon. Unfortunately, all the tests failed, the thrown chicken kept breaking the glass. So they told the English people that the system did not work at all. The reply was : "The chicken must be unfrozen before throwing them ..."

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http://user.tninet.se/~csx358e/mbpix...ketches005.JPG

Sorry BK, just noticed your post and mine looks a litle like a take off.....unintentional I assure you.

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One love, peace.

Charlie,

http://www.tgeweb.com/ironworks/cgi-...es/biggrin.gif That was too funny! Thanks! LOLOLOLOLOL

BK, Packaged styrofoam? Now there's a conundrum! http://www.tgeweb.com/ironworks/cgi-...iles/smile.gif

Donut, ah sweet confection of my life, you always make me laugh! But about that poor kitty cat....CloudTiger is not wearing any toast, but hey, she may be butterable... hehehe http://www.tgeweb.com/ironworks/cgi-...iles/smile.gif And in keeping with my theme: Do donuts blush? LOL

Moiraine! Hello and thanks for the smile! unfrozen...hahahahaha http://www.tgeweb.com/ironworks/cgi-...es/biggrin.gif

Cloudy, spamming and laughing and enyjoying her morning- HELLO WORLD! http://www.tgeweb.com/ironworks/cgi-...s/EEhearts.gif



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http://www.angelfire.com/anime2/memn...y/bkflower.gif Storm-Queen
Purple Rose of the Black Knight

Moraine

What a coincidence, I read this on another site only this morning but it was the US Air Force and the Royal Air Force. I've also heard it about Ireland and Italy. It is better known as Urban Myth number 758. http://www.tgeweb.com/ironworks/cgi-...iles/smile.gif

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The Truth is in the Profile

Some other perplexities http://www.tgeweb.com/ironworks/cgi-...iles/smile.gif

Why do ships carry cargo and shipments go by truck?
Why do we park on a driveway and drive on a parkway?
Why do we recite at a play and play at a recital?
Where does the white in snow go when it melts?
What is another word for thesaurus?
Why do Wise man and Wise guy mean opposite things?



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http://www.bestanimations.com/fantas.../dragon-04.gif

Uh this is from a friend in Canada...and uh, not my usual attempt at classy (snicker... ok, you all can stop snorting and guffawing....) but since I laughed when I read it...here it is:

Life Lessons on the Edge

Four worms were placed in 4 jars

First worm was placed in a jar filled with alcohol
Second worm was placed in a jar filled with cigarette smoke
Third worm was placed in a jar filled with sperm
The last worm was placed in a jar filled with soil.

After one day,
First worm was dead;
Second worm was dead;
Third worm was dead;
Fourth worm was still alive.

Lesson:
As long as you drink, smoke, and have sex you won't get worms!


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http://www.angelfire.com/anime2/memn...y/weather2.gif Storm-Queen
Purple Rose of the Black Knight

[This message has been edited by Cloudbringer (edited 03-11-2001).]

[This message has been edited by Cloudbringer (edited 03-11-2001).]

CB--

LOL http://www.tgeweb.com/ironworks/cgi-...smiles/485.gif


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http://www.bestanimations.com/fantas.../dragon-04.gif

Moridin- You like? I'll tell Ray to send more ...sometimes his stuff is a bit well, I don't save it, let's put it that way! http://www.tgeweb.com/ironworks/cgi-...es/FRblush.gif This was pretty tame!

CB

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http://www.angelfire.com/anime2/memn...y/bkflower.gif Storm-Queen
Purple Rose of the Black Knight

LOL CB! Have to try one of those next time the telemarketer rings! I usually just say "WHAT?" "WHAT"? "WHAT?" and hang up. http://www.tgeweb.com/ironworks/cgi-...es/biggrin.gif

Charlie - Good ones! LOL! I've always thought it funny when I see a bottle with a name like "Joe's 100% Natural Fruit Punch" and then the label says "Contains 3% fruit juice". ?????????????

Moraine - Chicken projectiles? That had to be a funny scene to behold! http://www.tgeweb.com/ironworks/cgi-...smiles/485.gif



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http://www.angelfire.com/rpg/stealthy/KungFuGal.gif

I'm baaaaack! http://www.tgeweb.com/ironworks/cgi-...es/biggrin.gif And here is another for your perusal and amusement...a joke, actually, but hey, it's MY corner! LOL http://www.tgeweb.com/ironworks/cgi-.../partygirl.gif
teeheehee

-----
As soon as she had finished convent school, a bright young
girl named Lena shook the dust of Ireland off her shoes and
made her way to New York where before long, she became a
successful performer in show business.

Eventually she returned to her home town for a visit and on a
Saturday night went to confession in the church, which she
had always attended as a child.

In the confessional Father Sullivan recognized her and began
asking her about her work. She explained that she was an
acrobatic dancer, and he wanted to know what that meant.

She said she would be happy to show him the kind of thing
she did on stage.

She stepped out of the confessional and within sight of Father
Sullivan, she went into a series of cartwheels, leaping splits,
handsprings and backflips.

Kneeling near the confessional, waiting their turn, were two
middle-aged ladies. They witnessed Lena's acrobatics with
wide eyes, and one said to the other: "Will you just look at the
penance Father Sullivan is givin' out this night, and me without
me bloomers on!"
~~~~~~

TeeheeheeCloud

ROFLMAO! Keep em coming CB!



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http://www.bestanimations.com/fantas.../dragon-04.gif

Teehee! I'm going to let some other good and amusing souls add some things for a bit! My archive of fun-stuff got massively purged a while back and there isn't much left...I'll start saving it again for sure! Maybe we'll make Cloudy's Corner happen off and on, hmmm? http://www.tgeweb.com/ironworks/cgi-...es/biggrin.gif

And I'm still in stitches over Charlie's stuff..hahahahahaha
And Moridin..park on a driveway, drive on a parkway...that's amusing! Never considered it!

CB

[This message has been edited by Cloudbringer (edited 03-11-2001).]

HAHA!! CB - bloomers?

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http://www.angelfire.com/rpg/stealthy/KungFuGal.gif

You enjoying this thread, LadyZ? http://www.tgeweb.com/ironworks/cgi-...es/biggrin.gif I have personally tried the telemarketer replies: (apologies to jj, but well, what can I say?!)

2. If they start out with, "How are you today?" say, "I'm so
glad you asked, because no one these days seems to care, and I have all
these problems. My arthritis is acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my
dog just died . . . " the caller ends up dazed and confused... spamTALK ,it's not just for forums! bwahahahaha

3. If they say they're John Doe from XYZ Company, ask them to
spell their name. Then ask them to spell the company name. Then ask
them where it is located, how long it has been in business, how many
people work there, how they got into this line of work if they
are married, how many kids they have, etc. Continue asking them
personal questions or questions about their company for as long as
necessary. Now, ladyZ, this one was hysterical! The caller was on his knees begging me to stop before he hung up the phone! That'll teach em to ignore three requests to stop calling me to buy a timeshare in Fl!

CB


[This message has been edited by Cloudbringer (edited 03-11-2001).]

Donut, I never said that I was sure that the story I told was true - but it was funny enough to deserve to be true !

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http://user.tninet.se/~csx358e/mbpix...ketches005.JPG

Absolutement. I was merely pointing out the coincidence that I had seen this on another site this morning.

The beauty of Urban Myths is that they are always told as if they are true. They usually start with something like 'My friend knows someone who ....'



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The Truth is in the Profile

HEHEHE (another one from my warped friends who are techno-wizkids)

Dear Tech Support:

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and
noticed that the new program began making unexpected changes
to the accounting modules, limiting access to flower and
jewelry applications that had operated flawlessly under
Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable
programs, such as Romance 9.9, installed undesirable programs
such as NFL 5.0 and NBA 3.0. Conversation 8.0 no longer runs
and Cleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I've tried
running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.


Dear Desperate,

Keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an entertainment package,
while Husband 1.0 is an operating system.

Try to enter the command: C:/ I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME and
install Tears 6.2. Husband 1.0 should then automatically run
these applications: Guilty 3.0 and Flowers 7.0. But remember,
overuse can cause Husband 1.0 to default to GrumpySilence
2.5, Happyhour 7.0 or Beer 6.1. Beer 6.1 is a very bad
program that will create "Snoring Loudly" wave files. DO NOT
install MotherInLaw 1.0 or reinstall another Boyfriend
program. These are not supported applications and will crash
Husband 1.0. In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but
it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications
quickly. Consider buying additional software to improve
performance. I personally recommend HotFood 3.0 and Lingerie
5.3.

Tech Support
---------


http://www.tgeweb.com/ironworks/cgi-...s/EEhearts.gif CloudCustomer, wondering where you buy Boyfriend 5.0?! LOL

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http://www.angelfire.com/anime2/memn...y/bkflower.gif Storm-Queen
Purple Rose of the Black Knight

My own anedote:

<H2>If common sense was so common why doesn't everyone have it?</H2>




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I feel the need, the need for SPEED! http://www.tgeweb.com/ironworks/cgi-...noncgi/eek.gif
Peace and hair grease

Damn! and I was so trying not to get those 3 blue stars.

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I feel the need, the need for SPEED! http://www.tgeweb.com/ironworks/cgi-...noncgi/eek.gif
Peace and hair grease