I know this is offtopic and I would've loved to resort to alcohol or something even worse, but this place has been so nice to me and I'd thought I'd find a little happiness by posting around here.
I'm not depressed because it's 4.17AM in the morning - and I still can't sleep. Not that I care anyway, because my life feel so shit right now and I don't think that I'm going to college tomorrow either: I'm bunking everybody (But I have my reasons)

I'm feeling really low everybody and I'm sorry if I make you feel bad too. It's just that if I post things here I feel a lot better and it's off my chest.

Don't even ask me why I'm depressed, but let's simply put it as being dumped by your new girlfriend on the telephone this afternoon alright?? Don't ask me any more because I'd probably get angry and do something that I might regret.

You don't have to say anything, you didn't even have to read this thread. But knowing that it's here and HERE ONLY - Makes my life worth living a bit longer. A picture of happy things (self-drawn or scanned......whatever) might bring back some smiles, post it here if you wish - don't ask me. I can't think straight and I'm getting a terrible headache.

Sorry People If I Upset You Or Spoilt Your Good Mood, I Really Am.
I need some time to get over this.

Yours
Wah

Sorry Wah, I don't have a picture or a even a scanner.
All I can say is sorry to hear it, but their will be others......crap i not being much help there am I?
Be happy

Well I am not sure i have alot to add to the sagely advice allready given so maybe i will reinforce some of it.

First you are not alone. When I was a teen I spent three years with someone who I cared alot for (at that time I thought it was love). One night I was out with my friends (my girlfriend was grounded at the moment) at the local party spot. Upon walking down a hill and rounding a corner we spotted a car. Feeling sort of impish we thought we would be rude and approach the car which was obviously filled with love birds and yes they were "singing". Imagine my surpirise when I discovered my long time gal getting it on with someone else! Needless to say I was hurt beyond belief and cruelly imbarassed in front of my friends.
It took me the better part of a few years to really get over that. Nothing anyone said made me feel better. I did not feel alone though as others had obviously trodden down this lonely road before me.
If she had not "dumped me" i would have spent much more time with her. It was only much later that i figured out how much better off I was without her. I would have stayed at the same college and wound up taking a different job in a different field. I would have never and I mean never been in the place
I met my wife. Our paths would never have crossed. Daily i thank that slut for revealing her true colors in time for my river of life to flow in a new direction. Had I continued to damup my life with her, I would not be the me that is here today.
So I guess what I am saying is that life is an unexplored river you continually follow until it exits into the sea. You chance upon a bend or a fork in the path and the one you choose (or chooses you sometimes) will lead you to places you can't get to by taking the other tributary. It does not mean that any path is better than the other or less painful.
What I encourage you to do is froce yourself to think of the opportunites that have been afforded to you by the path you are now on.
It is very easy to take the route of less resistance and think of what could have been. I challenge you to take the path less travelled and think of the things that are now possible that could not have been before.

I will get you started with one such possibilty, others may add to them if they wish.

You will not have to worry about explaing where you were or what you did last night and why you did not call. In short you are now free to do the things that you always liked and she never approved of. I would be more specific but i do not know you well enough to know your likes.

Hey man, nothing I can say here will help. Just wanted you to know I care and this board would miss you. Email me if you need to talk about it. It's in my profile. Just wanted to let you know someone cares.

BK

You know that we all support you Wah. If you can give us an idea of what kinda pics you want to see, I could put some up for you. Got one of those programs that has like 5000 pics, but not sure what you want. Hey, just find Jerome and put some smack down on him. You'll feel better. Everyone else does.

*j/k Jerome*

Wah, we're all here for ya buddy. I know your going through some shit right now and I wanted to share some stuff with you. I was in your shoes as a teenager. I had a girlfriend that I had been going out with for my entire Senior year and decided to join the Navy. We were the same age, but she was a year behind me. I graduated at 17. I thought we were totally in love. She said she would wait for me to come back from boot camp and then I would take her with me when she graduated. Boot camp was only two months long and when I came back, she had already found a new boyfriend and told me that it wasn't going to work. I was devastated and depressed for quite awhile. I went back to the Navy and got myself drunk quite alot and was even contemplating suicide.

Now here's where it changes. I'm 28 now and after 10 years and a lot of growing up, time has shown me that as emotionally wrecked as I was that I have come along way and put it behind me. I found a much better woman to share my life with and realize that while it hurt then it made me a stronger person today.

Don't let this incident be the deciding moment in your young life. Take it and learn from it. Grow stronger because of it. You WILL look back on your life someday as I have mine and realize that it was part of your journey in becoming an adult. There are so many things I have yet to learn and will go through my fair share of disappointments before my time comes, but that's all part of being a person. What we decide to do with these things defines us and makes us more real. There are always people who will care about you and even though they may not be an intricate part of your life you still affect them in someway as you have affected everyone on this board. There are people on this board like myself who have never really held a dialogue with you, but read and enjoy your wit.

We support you and wish you the best while you tangle with your situation. sincerely Turbo

I howl with you in your pain, i know it ain´t much but sometimes there are not much that could be done or undone. Jut know that I have walked that path you´re embarking on my friend and that as long as you wish I´ll howl with you!

Wah, here's a poem which I keep posting here but more than anything really helped put things in perspective for me. I used to think that if i got into a relationship and it didn't work out, i'd wasted all that time (being a Leo and all). Then I met this amazing Canadian girl, a model, at a nightclub in April last year in Sydney and we really hit it off. I found out she was only in Sydney for 3 months. We had a bit of fun for a while then it got serious, but that freaked me out because i didn't want to get serious with someone who wasn't going to be in Sydney long term, because i didn't want to get hurt. We had this talk and she said something that really changed my entire perspective on relationships.

Every relationship, good or bad, long or short, is teaching you something about the person you will ultimately be with. So as long as you learn from every experience it's actually helped you work out within yourself who you are ultimately going to be with. So I took the plunge, got serious, she went back to Canada in August, been there since, but I'm happy!

Not quite your experience but I guess what I'm trying to say is look at the bright side. My girlfriend also gave me this poem, it really helped me out. Hope it helps you man!

Come the Dawn

After a while you learn the subtle difference
Between holding a hand and chaining a soul.
And you learn that love doesn't mean leaning,
And company doesn't mean security.

And you begin to understand that
Kisses aren't contracts,
And presents aren't promises.
And you begin to accept your defeats
With your head held high and your eyes open
With the grace of a woman or a man
Not the grief of a child.

You learn to build your roads on today
Because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plans
And futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight.
After a while you learn that even sunshine burns
If you get too much.

So you plant your own garden and decorate your own soul
instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.
And you learn that you really can endure,
That you really are strong, that you really have worth,
And you learn and learn and you learn
With every goodbye, you learn.

Rejection can hurt a lot, even though it's only a state of mind. Dwell on it or realise that there'll always be a better option. You won't necessarily see it coming; don't abandon all hope. I wrote this the night my fiancee accepted my proposal.

---

Our friendship grown from moments shared,
Four years I give to pointless tales,
A bond will form as time moves on,
A choice is made, innocence fails,

No more am I bound to you than the sand unto the sea,
I am I, my thoughts are mine, and mine alone to know;
I don't need your pity or empathy, I won't hold your outstretched hand,
My only want is for loneliness, shadowed memories in tow.

The sun now sets, the moon will rise,
Another wasted day,
For still I feel the bitter cold,
This chill abounds, for warmth I pray,

I seek the gentle comfort in the candle of your soul,
Tired I grow of the worthless life of one who bars their doors,
It is easy to live alone, give trust only to yourself,
But I'd prefer to embrace the freedom that comes from being chained.

---

And I'm not a masochist. It's a figure of speech... press on, Wah.

That´s very nice Memnoch.
Takes strength to get there and Wah will lend you what strength we can to make you build your own garden.

Just one warning about alcohol! i know this one just to good to be dismissed!! I resorted to alcohol and lived something of a haze a complete summer, i coulnd´t sleep for more than an hour each night if i didn´t had a drink, I had what I thought was the perfect relationship, it had been flowering for five years, happy good, we shared most things but then it abruptly ended and everything and i mean everything lost their meaning. I took what I could but there wasn´t enough, to be blunt and use an old phrase I tried to drown my sorrows and damn, I gave it my best effort but the bastards learned to swim. i couldn´t escape drunk, sober or whatever.. i had to kill parts of myself to be able to get through and well I have nearly done so, but I will never ever be he same person ever again. Now I wont tell you to never drink alcohol because sometimes you need good reboot to the systems to understand what you are going, it´s just that it´s a very dangerous way to get there.

And about you being low and everyhting, thats just how things are and that you takes it up here is a really good thing because you cn get it out of your syste, tell us let us hear you, this is the best way to get through it my friend, and i hope you find the strength to do so..

Just had to say, that's brilliant, Armie. Just to add to my little story, she'll be back end of March for another 3 months. Then who knows? But I'll cross that bridge when i get there. It's all part of life and learning.

Hey Wah, really sorry to hear that (I really felt very happy for you when I read the Valentine thread!)
I think almost everybody on the board has gone through something like this in their teenage years (I know I did, I was devastated when my first Major Crush broke up with me). The shitty thing about it is, hearing other people telling you you will get over it like they did doesn't soften the pain one bit, does it? The knowledge that this will take time to get over is depressing, I can understand, but try to see it as comforting instead! Live on the knowledge that one day you'll be old and maybe even will have forgotten what her name was. I know this won't help you now, but I swear it will be true after some time! I wish I could help you better than this, but helping people who are love sick is -in my experience- one of the most difficult things there are! Try to finish your story as a distraction, and of course you can always email me or one of the others! Keep posting!
Maybe the cutey in my sig will cheer you up?

just remember .. your not even twenty...
just remember .. you have not seen the true beauty
the true beauty of the world..the true beauty of life
the true meaning of who we are.. a shame to cut the thead with a knife

what i mean is... forgive and forget the things that happened... to end your self wheather vices or death, you have not even lived a tenth of your life... live on and be strong... be hard but not cold... always remember ... we will always support you...

(whistle)... a bit uncencored there eh Melusine
dont forget the young ones here...

*super quick off topic*
Zor pare, do you want me to find you a moving gif?
*super quick back on topic*

little anyone says will stop you hurting, and prehaps words arent needed at all.

Please know Wah that everone without exception feel genuinley sorry and offers as much support as is humanly possible. I hope that you can remember that there are people here who care about you, and shall continue to do so till the universe as we know it grows into a bleak and barren place, and even then our friendship will continue.

Please dont forget about everyone here Wah, we all wish you the best.

Memnoch, that canadian friend sounds very special. Superb view of life, well beyond her years. Love both her poem and Armisaels. Melusine is partly right in that other people telling you to get over it won't work, but at least knowing others care and have shared a similar experience is some comfort. I wouldn't worry too much Wah, as most people change a lot in their late teens early 20's and people you like now will seem very different in a few years. A lot of relationships break up at this age because people drift apart as their needs and tastes change. Memnoch's friend is so right that you should use each friendship as a lesson in discovering what you want in a partner, so that when you finally commit, the relationship is more likely to survive. I married lateish, 32, because I wasn't sure what I wanted. I have met many wonderful people, some of whom I may have married under different circumstances. However, I love my wife dearly and I know she is special ie one of the few who could put up with me! You tend to meet the most important people by chance, so make yourself go out with your friends and enjoy yourself. Who knows, you might that certain someone tomorrow.

My sentiments exactly Stealth. Live and learn - on your own. That's what gives you strength, being able to handle the knocks.

By the way Memnoch, when she comes back could I have the blonde babe? Or failing that, tell your canadian friend there is a middle aged , balding spaniard with a paunch, living in Scotland who has the hots for her. That should do it. You can explain to her that she could treat it as a learning exercise in what not to look for in a man. After a week here she will realize what she has with you and sweep you off your feet! Consider it an act of frienship on my part. No chore is too much trouble for a friend.

Wah;it wouldn't be comforting to say it will be alright,you know what,it isn't.i'm not sure if you have followed any of my "oh God,why"stuff,but my wife of almost six years thought about seperating and that hurts worse than a break up due to the fact that you don't know if it is over or if it's done.at least you know the outcome.take it as a learning experience and go forth and enjoy life,yes love seems like everything but it's not.i know you don't have kids but for me i can except my wife,but i know my kids love me unconditionaly and that is all i need.i'm only 24 but have lived a life that was never easy or ideal.but you have to think like a surviver and use the experience to better you for the next time.i'm not saying not to love ,but to be ready for the next time.we are young and it's going to happen more than once,that i promise you.you have to expect it when dealing with or counting on others,poeple will let you down,people will not like you ,it just life and you have to be able to deal with it,it's the whole growing up and becoming an adult.Be strong,you'll live through it.and if you need some liquid strength i'll help you there(hehe)long live BUDWEISER

"Daily i thank that slut for revealing her true colors" HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Thank You........thank you all.
You can't imagine how much you guys/gals mean to me during this time. I found the courage today to ring up her doorstep and she was hesistant to let me in. However I felt that speaking through the phone wasn't going to help so I needed to hear it from her personally.
I DID resort to drinking that night (or should I say Dawn?) and my brother found me dozing off on the keyboard at 11AM. I need to buy a new keyboard too because I spill most of the booze all over keys. I'm typing now with my friend's keyboard, and hopefully he won't find out why. We talked and she said that it was over because things weren't working out right? WHAT WASN'T WORKING OUT RIGHT??!! I DON'T UNDERSTAND?! We didn't speak for long and I think our relationship is definately over - We can't even stay as friends, that's how bad it ended up
I don't know where this is going to take me, but I'm single again - that's for sure. If she told me why she didn't want me then that's okay, but you can't just snatch yourself away from our relationship and say........(sorry about the use of this)...........■■■■ OFF!!

I'm suspecting she's cheating on me with one of my mates. And I'm going to keep an eye out for whoever she hangs around with. I called her friends but they wouldn't speak to me either (maybe she bribed or threatened them not to) even though I knew some of them since Primary School

You people are all I have left, if you want to know then you guys/gals were the first to know about this - my mum doesn't know because she told me not to go out with her in the first place! And my father wouldn't give a shit even if I was gay so family gave me 0 points for reassurance.

I thank you all again, everybody for making my life so much happier. I'd wished I known you all earlier because you count for my belief, that there are actually nice people in this world.

Thank You so Much

Yours
Wah

Wah: Hey, buddy. You've impressed me as a quick-witted, fun-loving person . I know we haven't talked much to date and I'm not sure if you want company in misery or happy-it'll-pass stories, but I have both for you if you like. Like so many others here, I can say I was dumped at about your age. I was a sophomore in college. In love with being in love, as they say. My boyfriend and I were secretly engaged and at the time I thought it was for all the reasons he gave me- let's not mess up our school year with all the planning, or get parents involved just yet...etc etc etc. Well, to make a long story shorter- One late spring day a group of us from a Russian class had a picnic at one of the student's homes out in the beautiful Vermont countryside. I had tried to talk David into coming for a week, but he insisted he had to study for our big Russian exam and reminded me how he was "not as smart" in that subject as I was. Knowing he had a problem with my doing better in classes, I believed him and wished him luck with the studying. Off I went to a wonderful picnic. Gorgeous day, clear blue sky, view of the river. I was so happy that day. As we got ready to take the long drive back to the city, I packed up a plate of food for David, figuring he'd be awfully hungry (he never cooked- lived out of boxes or what his sister fixed-they shared a condo). Well, I drove to his place that evening and knocked on the door, plate in hand, big smile on my face. David took forever to answer the bell and when he did I knew something wasn't right. He acted very nervous and blocked my view into the condo, not even asking me in! Me being me (grin) I pushed past him and into the living room. Well, well, well, if he didn't have April (another student in our class who didn't attend the party that day) sprawled on the floor in front of the sofa looking mighty uncomfortable. I suppose you can guess how I felt, Wah. Devestated, angry, hurt, totally miserable. David tried to explain that they were studying together...yah, I always study with my undergarments half-stuffed under the edge of a sofa, and my shirt buttoned wrong, sure...I believe THAT one, you s.o.b! I may have seemed quite calm to them, but I was far from it. I walked into the kitchen, dropped the plate of food on the counter, sat down and proceeded to make then exruciatingly uncomfortable with lots of small talk. "How was the studying? Having trouble with the perfective verbs, David? Gee April, I didn't know you needed a study partner, I run the in-house Russian program in the Living-Learning center, I could have helped you.....". And would you believe the two-timing piece of $%$# asked me to drive April HOME? Ack. We never talked about any of it in person (with the brief exception of my tossing the ring in his face after the exam), and the phone conversations we did have weren't enough for me. I went to his graduation ceremony (he was two yrs ahead of me) in hopes of talking before he moved away. I spotted him in the crowd and left my two friends (moral support!) behind as I wove my way to where he stood. Just as I reached him and said congratulations, his parents dragged him over to April and didn't even acknowledge my existence! (turns out he never mentioned me, his mom was a NJ socialite, Dad a doctor, I think- April was a well-to-do Swiss-finishing school graduate and much more 'suitable' for his family) I stood there until my friends caught up to me. I don't remember getting back to the dorm, Wah. I vaguely remember getting totally wasted and roaming the campus at night looking for a bus to step under. A friend (my best friend today!) followed me all over the place, trying to tell me it would get better, keeping me from drowning in the campus fountain and wandering into the bad part of town. I never heard directly from David again.

You know what, though? My friend was right. It took me almost a year to realize it, but I did feel better! Life threw me so many other things to deal with that I let go of the anger and the biggest part of the hurt. No, it never goes completely away, but it gets manageable! Like the others have said, you get stronger and wiser. You learn more about yourself and the people you deal with. It will pass, Wah. I promise you!

Until then, rage at the stars, cry all night and wake up in the morning ready to face the world with dignity. You are a worthwhile person, never ever forget it! We're here to listen and to offer moral/emotional support. Have an electronic kleenex, on me!

And Wah? Exactly what do you and Melusine talk about when I can't read the language? (giggle)

Cloudbringer

Hey, CB, can I just say that I laughed very hard at the fact that he had enough nerve to ask you to take her home. Did you? Just curious. Unfortunately, that generally was the way my "study" groups ended up. Without the bursting in part. And the rebuttoning part. And the undergarment part (don't wear 'em, chafts the armor). But other than that . . .



BK

Well, it might make Wah laugh, so I'll tell you. Yes, I did! I don't know if I was a chump or just evil-minded....hahaha. End result was that David and I never got that face-to-face talk that I needed for closure. But I got to torment the airheaded April all the way to her swanky apt. bldg...and oooopsie, I couldn't park nearby so she had to walk a block! Oh and I swamped them on that exam! HEHEHE

Cloudbringer

New name CB, TearBringer. Glad you got over the rat. Didn't deserve you anyhow. Wah, your friends here will always be loyal, so don't worry.

CB, thanks a lot I didn't know that you had such a dark history, you always seemed so cheerful and vibrant.

By the way, Melusine and I have been going on with a small chain story that is hilarious and interesting but since we've had several crashs they've been kicked to the bottom of the depths.

She is a wicked lady who owns a pit fiend and sends her pet after me everytime I try to attack her. She also owns the ULTIMATE AMULET OF FORM STABILITY, which is practically "powerfullllllll!!!".

I dated her pit fiend later on and cheated on it for imoen after I found out that "she" was actually a "he". Then there's nalia but I won't rub that in LOL!

Wah! I have to find that story- you and Melusine inspired me (and Rikard!). And I'm glad to see a smiley or two from you. Somebody bump it!!!!!

Yah, I've had my share of tough times, maybe a few beyond it- not all romance problems, mind you! Weird family stuff too....sigh...but hey, I AM an optimist for the most part and I truly believe that if you try to see the positives in life, you live longer and have a bit of fun along the way! Those hard times made me who I am, Wah. Like I told Armie (yah, don't any of you deny it, you read that thread! hehehe), I survived. You will too. Hell, this is just beginning, Wah. Life is still out there- grab hold and hang on. ( and if you want to torment Jerome a little, ck out the age part III thread...I think that's the one... I left him scraping out the hippo pens..heehee)

Cloudbringer

I am so sorry to hear what has happened to you Wah. It sounds like she is losing a great guy. It is her loss. Someday the hurt will go away. Take care of yourself. Plus you deserve better than her.

"You shouldn't live a life in the past, nor should you wait too long for the future to find you" - Jaheria - That was the most beautiful quote from BG2 that I've ever heard and it reflects just who I am. And what I am currently.

Excuse me everyone, I feel like breaking down again, and I must stop typing or else I'll get really emotional.

Love Yer All, Bless

Wah

(PS - Cloudbringer, I'll have a go at Jerome later)

Wah - this doesn't make the pain go away, but read the poem I posted you again. Some of the truths can be painful but I realized that the sooner I acknowledged them, the sooner I was able to get over them. And draconia is right, you deserve a lot better than her. This is all about life and learning, my friend! I wouldn't waste time and energy keeping tabs on her, because that doesn't really help you and just prolongs what you are going through.

Ehm Stealth, the blonde babe is my girlfriend Taryn, so no you can't have her!

Wah- Memnoch has a good point. I meant to say something earlier, but had to actually do some work at the office (grin). It isn't the best idea to follow your ex or try to spy on her new relationships. It'll only bring you more pain and anger. Doesn't sound like you enjoy that, so avoiding it seems the best solution. Clean break is best, buddy. Try it. I imagine you just feel hurt enough to want to 'get back' at her and anyone else you can strike out at...but take it from Cloudy, that's not a good idea. The only one who really gets hurt then is you.

And don't give up your school work and other pals either. I know you need a little time to get past the worst of it, but the schoolwork and pals will help you heal.

Cloudbringer

Wise words from Thundercracker If it doesn't make things better, there's no point in doing it.

Ok........Okay. I'll do as you say, even though I deny myself, I know it'll bring it somewhere in the end. Thanks a lot Thundercracker, you've really "cracked" the nut out of my shell. (sorry = bad metaphor!!) I won't spy on her then since I guess you're right, and it'll do nothing more than drag back the past.

Thank you Cloudbringer, and you too Memnoch, for making me realise that life needs to move on, It's funny because I used to say this to others when they needed my comfort - but it's not so easy when you're wrapped up blinded with your own broken feelings. I'd always thought that time heals everything, but if you can't let go then you're never going to move on. It's like deny the future, to refuse to acknowledge the consequences.

Today is the past, and tomorrow is the future. tomorrow I will try to forget everything and move on, even though there may be something I'm bound to hold onto.

It's time to let this thread freefall..................

Bumping it just brings back the past to be and I don't want that.
So please everybody, don't bump this thread anymore.

And Memnoch I agree, "presents aren't promises" and there will never be another valentine's day where I won't forget that.
Thanks Pal

Wah

Believe you me, they are right. There is no point in following her or her friends. I can personally vouch for the fact that it does not make things better but possibly exponentially worse. I went that route (i know after what she did to me i would have to be really sick, well i am but that is beside the point) trust me there is no joy to be seen in following her. Shw will most likely be acting like her normal self and it will rub salt in your wounds seeing her go about her daily business.
Memnoch is right if it does not feel good do not do it. Natural selection will tell you that it is not good.

Drop her like the rotten egg she is. The almighty Hell Lich would never have been sastified with a mere mortal who does not recognize beauty when it looks her in the face.

Cloudy- Man i love ya babe. I wish i could have been there when you sat down at the table to make small talk despite your own discomfort. I can just picture that weasel squirmin in his pants. No wonder you play D&D. With the big brass balls you needed to pull that off all the other kids were probably scared of playing with you.

One more bump.
Cloudbringer, wish you'd told me earlier. Haven't been through something like that yet; hope I never have to. I'd beat the bastard into a bloody pulp. Then again, it's his loss. Hope you find someone better, you deserve it.

Hey Wah.. I dont know you, and I dont think you need any more advice since this topic is overflowing with it, but I know how you feel (im in the same mess..or was) and I know how it is to just want someone to know you're feeling screwed over instead of asking for advice on how to deal with it and all. No offence to anyone else who posted advice intended of course. Anyways, I feel for you man..but theres always a better day

Just a reminder, friends, on what Wah said in his last post of this thread:

It's time to let this thread freefall..................

Bumping it just brings back the past to be and I don't want that.
So please everybody, don't bump this thread anymore.

It's the true measure of the quality of people in this community that posts such as these draw such a positive response from everyone. But let's also respect his wishes and let this post hit terminal velocity.

umm... (slam on his head...) if you guys have read wah's last statement... let this thread FREE FALL!!!
let us do that...

a quick off topic
gee.. i guess we both typed the send button Memnoch ...
now let us let this free fall ...