OK I saw this post a while ago where someone asked for tips on Valentine's Day. So now that the day is nearing...what are you guys going to do? And for the guy who asked tips: I already celebrated a sort of V day as yesterday my boyfriend and I were together for 2 years and we decided to put the two days together. So here's what I did: I made him ten vouchers which made his wildest dreams come true! I'll spare you the more lurid ones (wink wink nudge nudge say no more, say no more) but they also included things like a whole day of Excessive Pampering where I bring him breakfast in bed, cook his favorite meal, take him to a movie and he's allowed to play BG2 all day
So anyone else have cool ideas?
(Sorry if we had this thread before but I couldn't find it)

I'm sure Wah and Rikarda have all kinds of beautiful ideas for a Valentine's Day including two lesbians, a Pit Fiend and lots of chocolate eclairs...

Well Melusine, I bet your boyfriends happy =)
Well I have to say that I would be hardpressed to find myself a girlfriend if I´m to care about V-day... dum-dum-dum (sounds like a military term)
Good ideas, I (yes I too have been loved *sniff*) took my late gf to a romantic dinner, thoose dinner everybody knows is corny and traditionally but if you do, they can be very romantic espacially if it means going away for a couple of days and just take care of each other.

used this once, the other times there have been more or less romatic, least romantic would be "hey what the devil you say girl? Valentines day? already??? oups.. " Never end a line with oups, then you´re in big trouble!

Well hopefully there will be alot of good ideas, maybe could use em in the future or something.. Hope you have a good V-day though all thoose concerned..

My girlfriend's currently in Canada (and I'm in Sydney) so I'll be spending Valentine's day all by myself

Oh that's too bad Memnoch! I feel sorry for you
Thank god there's internet, msn, sms, etc

Melusine could I have one of your vouchers please?

Back to the real world I am taking my wife to see her favourite band, A-ha, in concert in Norway next month. Believe me this is the ultimate sacrifice, as I think they were poor in their hey-day back in the '80s. This has left me so broke that on V day I shall have to be pretty conventional and go for flowers and meal, but I will try your voucher idea although it will have to be that I don't play BG2 all day.

i'm thinking of running and just hiding,which my wife will like even more than any attempt from me ,there is nothing more romantic a woman can say than this "we've been married for five years got two kids and a nice house out in one of the estates,and things are great ,but i just don't know if i want to stay married,i just want to find myself ,to see if your{that's me}the one i want to spend the rest of my life with
gee you know what i want to get her for V day how about something in LEAD,or maybe steel
any suggestions please feel free to drop me one

I know something Melusine
Break up with your man and move to Apeldoorn
anyway
ehm a glow-in-the-dark stuiterbal is a nice thing to give if someone already has everything

Hellfire--
Don't know if you were kidding in your post, but what you described is what I just went through (except the two kids). My wife had that exact thought. "What if you(me) are not the one? I want to go find myself and see if we are truly meant to be together" Well that was three months ago and we still see each other on and off, but my V-day will be spent thinking of ways to make her miserable (Hey she made me miserable, so I have the right don't I)

My relation haven't been great,.............until I met Melusine's Pit Fiend. And guess what??!! I'm going to buy it a whole tub of chocolate eclairs for a Valentine Present!!

Before that it was a really cute girl who always seemed to be my ideal partner. She was just as bad as me and we used to trash the whole Home Studies room by squirting washing up liquid all over the school tables when the teacher's not around.

Sadly she moved to California and she never left me a message. Oh well, that was last year's valentine day memories. BTW - She did NOT dump me on valentines day!! GOD NO! That was the last valentines day I spent with her, then she left.

Anyway, I have Melusine's Pit fiend to keep me company then, it might look ugly but it doesn't give a shit whether you smell of roses or yesterday's beer glass. Ahhh, good thing it doesn't speak English or know how to use the internet! Otherwise it will be heartbroken from hearing this.

I'm so sorry to hear that Hellfire. All that bullshit about "is he/she the one?"
The whole point of commitment is that you're meant to say "Is he/she the one? Hmmm... oh well I made the choice - he/she WILL be the one."

Our 'perfect match' will at best only ever be another flawed piece of jigsaw puzzle that when it slots in, doesn't bend the cardboard too much

Mine broke down for different reasons, but my best wishes go out to both you guys. Know that you're not alone, it gets better and remember to notice the good in life. Hope things work out for you Hellfire.

My wife and I don't celebrate V-day. We celebrate our anniversery on the 11th. Unfortuntely, we don't have a whole night for the romantic thing. So we'll probably drop the kids off at grams house and go out for dinner. Of course, she'll get flowers. But, we have to pick the kids up before 8:00, because they have to be at school the next day.
So its somewhat of a rushed night. We'll save the fireworks for next month, when we rent a cabin in the mountains for three days with no kids. Can you say heaven!

What do I think???
Hellfire, I think your wife is crazy!! Your Valentine's Day sounds just perfectly romantic!!!
I'm really sorry that some of you are less lucky in their love lives...don't worry about spoiling my topic, I don't mind at all if you can get some help out of it. Now that I'm happily in love (so Rik, moving to Apeldoorn is probably not an option )(but I could set you up with the sister of Wah's Pit Fiend ) I sometimes lose sight of the fact that I've had some horrible experiences in love too...I must remember that even the best relationships can go wrong for some reason...so thank you for sharing this with us and good luck!!!
OK so let's make this a dual thread: for those in a relationship (or those having a crush on someone: go for it Zor!!!!) it's a nice way to think about V-day, and for those who are still looking or who are having some trouble, this can be the "spill your guts and hope you'll feel better"-thread

thank you Melusine
it's nice to hear that your in love and i hope and pray that it last longer than time and thank you once again,maybe i can find a lady who wants that kind of attention,guess i'm to mature for this one(who would think a 24 year old would be so mature)

hmm... a child im still...
out for a girlfriend's will
im looking for one
but not just a someone

i have my eyes on her
a girl i grew to like
im not sure im in love
will i give her a valentines?

she grew on me
unknowingly but surely
until i grew confused
and found my heart fused

i do not know if its the same
the year ago we met one day
i do not know if she like me too
should i give a gift and to be true?

a rose and my heart
is it truly worth the risk
i do not know, i dont care
will i find hell or bliss?

confused am i
i do not see any sign
what will i do?
my friends i truly beseech you...

to be short: should i or should i not... give a present to my crush ...? mind you all... no expensive thingies or paid trips... im only 18...

Well Zortorak, for me being probabbly one of the most cynical persons about love and such.. I can only give you this advice, DO IT!!
You´ll probably regret it more if you don´t than if you do and it turns out to be nothing so go for it. And hey, being young and in love is the grestest of being young but don´t loose your head cause being sadly in love all ages included is hell..

Howl with me and buy your crush a present, stare down your enemies and go for it!!

umm... bark bark woof woof..???

just kiddin... HHHHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWLLLLLLLLL L!!!!!!!!!!... oh well its better to have loved and lost than better to have not have loved at all... peace!!

He he, thats the spirit!
Go and get her!!

hello well as much as i want it to be a lie it's not.it made me feel like OK what the hell did i miss,let's see honey, you don't know if you love me..um..what i get it what you ment to say was ,gee honey i don't know if i love you ..well wait that's what you said..damn i was hoping you was joking,well that's not it huh ,well gee let me hand you my heart and let you step on it ,because that would hurt less than you guessing that you don't love me ..women sure do know how to hurt you realy bad don't they,and Idiot Rouge if you read this hopefuly you might reconsider your quest ,it isn't worth the pain that will come from it

Hellfire, I know that feeling, been there.. No easy way out of it, it hurt me alot and well started my cynical way about life. But one can´t live like that. Cause you don´t live, you barely have an existance. Well gee what am I trying to tell you? Hope that all will be well? Of course I want it to be but I wont say everything is gonna be alright cause sometimes everything aint gonna be alright.

Just hope and try do something about it..
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Anyone else feels like this is going to be a very black mooded thread instead of what is was supposed to be?
Sorry Melusine..

Wolfgir,thanks and your right this is going to be dark,i'm sorry about that Melusine
so let,s tforget about me and let's make this happy once again,so i'll say what i would have done instead.I would have let her sleep in and not have let the kids bother her.the house would have been picked up so she wouldn't wake to a dirty home and i would have made her breakfast in bed(yes i can cook real good)then while she was eating i would run some bath water with the bath bubbles(that smell good,not the kids bath bubbles)after she was finished bathing we would go to the mall and shop for her(i'm a spoiler)then eat at a restaurant,(her shopping last all day,believe me)then we could get a movie (something romantic)and cuddle together and hold each other (lovingly of course)and maybe after the movie we could just talk,and that would be my gift for her ,so what do ya think people

Two things:

Hellfire: Chin up, man. Good guys don't always finish last, it just feels like it sometimes. And you are not the only mature 24 yr old on the board. =) Let me tell you a story. I was about 3 months away from being married at one point, and she decided she didn't love me. Then I found out she had been seeing someone for about 2 months. And she was pregnant. It was his. So I moped about for about 10 days then I started looking and about two months later I found a girl who would put up my Gaming, CRPGing, card-playing, ESPN watching, sumo-wrestling ways and I have been with her for 2.5 years. So you never know. She is married with two kids and a Mortgage and her hubby is a cop who could be shot anytime leaving her with the mortgage and two kids and a crapping job because she was an English/History major. So things do work out sometimes for us nice guys.

And Two: why is V'Day always about getting the GIRL things? Cleaning the house for HER . . . buying presents for HER. Being romantic for HER. Why can't it be about doing stuff for HIM? What about it Ladies, what special things do you do for you Man on V'Day? I personally do romantic, special things year round (ie flowers just because, cards to say I love you, planned weekends away, poetry in her purse, etc) so I feel I don't need a specific day to do these things.

BK

Hey Black Knight did you miss my post or what!!
I always give my boyfriend presents as much as I get from him!!!

When we were together for 10 months I told him to drive in the direction I told him (as I don't have a driver's license) and led him to a terrific castle where I had booked us dinner and a steamy night in a superdeluxe hotelroom

When we were together for one year, I made him a special meal with shrimp cocktail, wine, grapes etc. at my place

For the two birthdays that I was with him I gave him
1. an Ex Libris stamp with his own name and a self-designed celtic knotwork border which I had made at some expensive shop
2. I ordered two out-of-print antique William Morris books which he really wanted to have but never expected to get from me

Yesterday we celebrated our 2 years anniversary and I gave him ten vouchers which probably needed a "Parental Advisory - Explicit Content" sticker , and yet another set of William Morris books

How's THAT for gifts? So you see not all girlfriends are expecting to be pampered and give nothing in return (Luckily my boyfriend treats me just as good as i do him!)

Any other ladies want to prove BK wrong?!

Bumpety bump...page 2 already?!

Hellfire, Wolfie, welcome to the club. v-day is not anything special, the only women i send gifts to are my daughters. After not one but TWO experiences like yours, h.f., i grew tired of working hard to provide the nice house and car, only to loose them to someone who had too much time on her hands because i made sure she did not have to work so someone could be around to be with the kid (s). Unfortunately, that also left time for dating, which i never believed went well with marriage. I've got to figure it must be my ability to pick'em more than anything else. However, i do not waste too much time on bitterness (anymore!). I have many good female friends, some are closer than others, but the ground rules learned in the scorched earth of my past are simple: always tell the truth, and just as important, never accept a lie. If you ever find friends who fit within those, that is someone who you should alwayskeep around, and i have found women i can trust- oh, yeah, the 3rd rule of thumb- if you have to change them to fit you better, better to just move on, because the harder you force it, the more it hurts when it breaks apart. Zor, GO FOR IT remember, sincerity is a priceless gift you can give every day, and if your prospective lady does not realize it's value, you should realize she is not up to the standards to which you aspire. My daughter is my special date, and we are going out for rollerskating and ice cream- i couldn't imagine a better v-day date. JJ

Newbie, I couldn't agree more. Nuff said!

Newbie, I feel very sorry for your predicament. You seem to have worked hard to maintain your family and were betrayed in return. Your outlook is a very positive one though, you sound like a great father! Have fun rollerskating (I loved to rollerskate with my father when I was a child!).

Another piece o poem:

The Boat has many holes
But the Oar has many goals

I'm not doing a thing. Unless someone can send me a girlfriend. Moneys a bit short( mother$#%& @#$$ van) but I can offer up to $50 for a nice girlfriend. Any offers? Then I'll be the Lord of AlcoRomance! Yes, the "Stud with a Bud(weiser)" I'm thinking of scheduling interviews but time is short so step up and be lively!

LoA, i can think of two women right off the top of my head who would be good candidates (morals proven to be of the temporary, situational kind), but i'd hate to be the one to intro you to the ex's. Unless you changed your moniker to Lord of Ex-cesses?

Hellfire, hang in there. You may not realize it yet, but you are going through a grieving process and it will run it's course. God Bless.


Cloudbringer

Newbie, I think your daughters couldn´t ask for a nicer gift then to have their father care for them! They should be happy indeed!

As well for your lessons of life, they´re apreciated, I never lie (except when telling jokes, military stories or when I´m drunk or on the net hehe)
Well I got tired of lies. I too have some ladyfriends which friendship I value very high. Wouldn´t risk them with trying to make it more than it is, I´m content with what it gives me so far, and that is alot.
As for nice guys not finishing last, well that may be as it is.. And well the girls should bring us presents to, but I could be a long wait for some of us.. Of course you should do things for each other this day.

Melusine: I´m happy for you and I hope your love will continue to bring you joy. I think that your little gifts was a great idea..

For thoose unhappy in love or that has been through a tough time, there are not comfort in words, I know this so I wont tell the, only that I understand, I myself still feel like a whelp trying out his first steps at an emotional plan, my loss was great and I paid dearly to get up in the mornings.

Oh, sorry forgot to tell you a trick!

For me it helped being angry, to get angry I mean not to be angry of others, just feel that anger rising in you and use it, to take alittle goal at the time. Try to use the anger for something possitive and be true to yourself.

If you wonder why I love wolves so much it´s because I believe I have one deep inside that always tells me to fight back at all costs when I´m really down and heartbroken. Stupid or not, he helped me alot! =)

Hellfire: I cannot begin to tell you how bad I feel about your situation. I can't imagine signing on for life with someone and then up and changing my mind. That is not what committment is about. It's about compromise and working things out. Not one of us is perfect and we all make mistakes, but marriage is forever in my book. Of course I suspect my advice would mean more if I'd ever been married, but it is heartfelt and I hope it helps anyway.

I know it hurts and things seem out of control but believe me, you will feel better one day. Takes a long time, but it happens. I've had my share of being dumped and lucky for me there were no vows, kids or property issues to contend with.

Your situation is miserable, but please try not to deal with it while you feel so angry and like striking back at your wife. Take a step back and try to focus on getting through this as best you can. Your kids deserve a father no matter what your wife has done and a bitter breakup will hurt your relationship with them. I wish I could talk to you in person, it's hard to say what needs saying on a keyboard in a public forum. I don't know if it will help you feel any better, but I will add you to my prayers.

Cloudbringer

CloudBringer
Thank you and,like you I trust in God,and i know he will take care of me
i know that any break up hurts be it marriage or dating,so you speak from wisdom either way,yea the kids part does bother me ,because i feel that i am the best father they could have ,and like you marriage should be for life that's why i said "till death do us part"not till i think i need to find myself and make sure that is you that i want to be with.Also i don't fight or name call in front of my kids because they see me doing it they might get it in their heads to it's OK to yell at thier mother,ARGH!!i can't believe this is happening to me, i try to be perfect for her,she comes home from work the house is clean and dishes are done and if she wants i make her dinner everyday not some times,everyday!and this is the $hit i get back,this is what i call irony.well i'm going to stop now seems people are backing away from me reading this(if i knew how i'd make a sad face here)

Hellfire,
Yeah man, ditto, hang in there.
I found a book called Divorce: the unforgivable sin? by Ken Crispin to be very helpful. If I'd read it earlier things may have been different... but then again maybe not. Who knows.

I went through many different emotional stages in the months preceding and following the final seperation. From anger and extreme rage, desolate and inconsolable depression, to relief and a calm peace. I was angry at God, angry at her, felt abandoned (by God) and confused, wondered how I would survive. Felt like I was unable to make any sort of decision.

For eight years I'd put another individuals thoughts, cares and feelings first and felt incapable of even deciding what to have for dinner, as everything concerning life matters had involved a joint decision.

I would love to disclose more of my situation but it is such an intensely vulnerable and painful experience to do so.

The other distressing thing was everyone around my wife and I thought we were the perfect couple. Religious, affectionate in public, both 'people persons'. Very much in love. But like the complexities of an individual, a relationship is an extremely complicated matter that should be so simple.
Thus it made a lot of people around us very sad, very upset when they found out. I then found out one of my closest friends whom I write a lot of music with, went through a marital breakdown himself. It's all around us! This terrible terrible occurence.

There is so much about life I don't understand.

Now get this, and this is hanging my soul out.

I still love her. We've been seperated for over a year, we cannot live together - we drive each other crazy, but I still feel incredible emotion for the woman who was first in my life for so long.

Life will go on. But there is much damage to be healed in the process.

I was happy today. I was cold, wet, standing alone in another country looking at leafless trees astride moorlike grassy, muddy hills with a few birds scattered around and I was so happy. I prayed thanks for the life I have and for what I've seen and all I am and the love my God has shown me, and I was happy.

Hugh

Yorick, once again you've put into words an incredibly difficult and emotional topic. I honestly stand in a certain amount of awe of your ability to communicate so clearly and concisely.
Should you ever find yourself in the Western U.S., especially in Washington, I will happily stand you to an excellent dinner just for the chance to talk.

Hellfire - don't give up, man. I had some really horrific $hit happen to me which made me feel like I would never have another relationship. I'm now on year 12 of an incredibly good marriage. She's already in your heart, you just have to find her in person.

Thankyou so much Absynthe.

Congratulations on your partnership. May your walk together never falter brother.

Thanks again.