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Perin LightEyes sat at the table with three men. He listened to their stories with scorn, knowing that perhaps a quarter of their claims of battle were true, and even less in their conquest of love. But, they knew where the dragon was, so he kept ordering more drink, and guided their stories towards his goal. Right now, they were discussing weapons, and combat. "Remember that last fight? We were nearly done, when they attacked us through the trees! A new group, and we were exhausted. Aye, the Dwarven Thrower saved us that day." Perin lifted an eyebrow in surprise. These were full-humans. None of them smelled of dwarves, or looked to be carrying dwarven weapons or armor. He said casually, "A merchant in TradeMeet tried to sell me one. A beautiful hammer, which he claimed would return to the caster after it struck the target. Alas, the magic only works for dwarves..." The men's roaring laughter interupted Perin. They refilled their mugs, and continued laughing. One finally looked at Perin, and spoke. "Not hammers, fool. Dwarves. Throw a pissed-off, fully armed drwaf at an enemy, and he'll cause more damage than a battalian. Just, calm him down when it's over." And so it began. The act of using your party as a shield is a time-honored strategy, but only recently has the art of using the "smaller" demi-humans as ranged weapons come to the fore. Many questions must be discussed: What are the differences in throwing dwarves, gnomes, and halflings? What is the differences in speed, and distance? Does the air-resistance of a dwarves beard negate his anger when he lands amid the enemy? How should you arm and armor the throwee? How can you keep him from struggling? If you set the gnome on fire before you throw him, will his potions ignite in mid-air, or on impact? JOIN IN THE DISCUSSION! HELP US EXPLORE THE FINE ART OF THE DWARVEN THROWER! ------------------ http://publish.hometown.aol.com/tobb...s/rudedawg.jpg http://www.phpshop.net/images/bg2guy/cov09.jpg The RudeDawg Known in these Forgotten Realms as Perin LightEyes and my girlfriends, Pamila and Phil [This message has been edited by RudeDawg (edited 05-08-2001).] [This message has been edited by RudeDawg (edited 05-08-2001).] |
Ahhh...no! Not The Dwarven throwers thread again!
Sigh..I think I'll participate this time! http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...les/tongue.gif - I think that a dwarven battle rager in his/her spiky suit of armor who hasn't bathed for weeks and smells of elderberries is the ULTIMATE dwarven thrower... Just my 2 cents..I'll add my dollars later http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...les/tongue.gif [This message has been edited by Therro (edited 05-08-2001).] |
Battle ragers do work well...
My personal favorite, currently is my Alchemist Gnome. He has all these great potions. Light e fuse, say "Excuse me" and throw. He lands and ignites: POOF ! Then, he runs around in the midst of the enemy, still on fire, causing all kinds of havoc. And, he actually BELIEVES me when I say it was an accident. You'd think he'd figure it out, with the same accident happening EVERY BATTLE... http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...ievalsmile.gif |
ooOOoo Rudedawg..thats a good one..I would never have thought of it!
How 'bout a halfling (there are enough of them around for this strategy http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...iles/smile.gif ) with a delayed blast fireball cast ON him/her..just throw, duck, BoOm! -Rinse and Repeat |
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LOL http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...miles/hihi.gif O yeah, we're just getting started.... ------------------ http://publish.hometown.aol.com/tobb...s/rudedawg.jpg http://www.phpshop.net/images/bg2guy/cov09.jpg The RudeDawg Known in these Forgotten Realms as Perin LightEyes and my girlfriends, Pamila and Phil |
Well get a gnome to make a 'Advanced Catapult' then load the cup part of the catapult full of plate mailed dwarfs,and watch the fun
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MAJOR distance, and multiple missles. It is a well-documented fact that the "base" damage caused from a dwarf (d12)is the highest of all the "smaller" races. Halflings are a (d10) while gnomes are a (d6+4) (the bonus comes from thier rammbling on and confusing the enemy. Once you add in the bonuses from weapons, fire, poison, and other stuff, you got some MAJOR damage... ------------------ http://publish.hometown.aol.com/tobb...s/rudedawg.jpg http://www.phpshop.net/images/bg2guy/cov09.jpg The RudeDawg Known in these Forgotten Realms as Perin LightEyes and my girlfriends, Pamila and Phil |
Oh, I see, this is what you meant by dwarven throwers.
Well, to me it would seem that an dwarf, with beard ignited would be of benefit, especially if he were properly feed the evening before. To use this weapon properly one of the party needs to be well versed in the art of "cooking to produce gas" (but this is another topic for another time). For simplicity lets assume the dwarf in the party has been properly primed the night before. Before one can throw this type of Dwarf certain mechanics need to be understood. First, 95% of the time the impact will arm the device (i.e. elicit flatulence). If the device (i.e. Dwarf) is traving anterior first the flatulence may be rapidly expelled away from the area of impact, drastically decreasing the chance for the flaming beard to ingite said device. However, if the device make impact while traveling posterior first the emission will also bounce off the target back toward the flaming beard and NOW WE'RE TALKING EXPLOSIVES! Consequently, it is of the utmost importance to throw these type of dwarves posterior first, without spin. After many years of practice a party with an exceptional cook could potentially take their Dwarves nuclear. But at this time this is only conjecture. As a side note, if the party does not come across potential enemies for days, it may be a misserable excursion. Furthermore the party make end up fire Dwarves at one another just to alleviate the situation. Caution should be taken before trying this type of weapon. [This message has been edited by onthepequod (edited 05-08-2001).] |
LOL
ah yes, onthepequod the forgotten farting factor. but, the intrigued masses require details... Which foods, in which combinations, produce the best results? Are we going for the inflmatory effect only, or is the smell a factor? (Stink Cloud, anyone?) Details, we want details !!!! ------------------ http://publish.hometown.aol.com/tobb...s/rudedawg.jpg http://www.phpshop.net/images/bg2guy/cov09.jpg The RudeDawg Known in these Forgotten Realms as Perin LightEyes and my girlfriends, Pamila and Phil |
I personally was going for the explosive factor, hence the Dwarf w/beard (fuse). But you bring up an excelent point. I have heard that Gnomes have a deviated colon (sp?) which allows them to produce a FINE odor (similar to a well aged and long unrefrigerated block of head cheese). But alas this is not my area of expertise. Can anyone confirm this deviated colon rumor?
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Actually, the only thing I know of, is the "Turnip-Reflex factor" of gnomes. The vegetable is able to prduce an especially virulent form of methane, noxious to those unlucky enough to be in it's path. The great thing is that it is made worse when drinking. This fit's the situation perfectly. Get the gnome drunk, spin him around to mix it up, and PRESTO !!! Turnip Toxic Nerve Gas.... Now remember, with this type of missle, a healthy "spin" is important when you throw, so SNAP that wrist !!!! http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...ievalsmile.gif ------------------ http://publish.hometown.aol.com/tobb...s/rudedawg.jpg http://www.phpshop.net/images/bg2guy/cov09.jpg The RudeDawg Known in these Forgotten Realms as Perin LightEyes and my girlfriends, Pamila and Phil |
but wear forgetting Halflings!!
put 'em in a gaint sling shot with short swords straped on them they can fly like birds!! Far by the tiem the enemy approches you msot of em well ahve very litttle HPs |
RudeDawg,
LOL! Ah yes, roughage in the semi-blocked system of a Gnome. You are a devious one. Alchohol as a catalyst though? Do the volatiles mix violently with methane? I would think this would produce a "spontanious combustion factor." But the stink of it is I don't understand this sub-class of weapon as well as I would like. |
Aaaahhhh Grand-Ranger has a valid point
"Halflings, the Forgotten Secret Weapon" And, the Ranger is using sling-shots and catapults... He sounds like a master strategist to me... ------------------ http://publish.hometown.aol.com/tobb...s/rudedawg.jpg http://www.phpshop.net/images/bg2guy/cov09.jpg The RudeDawg Known in these Forgotten Realms as Perin LightEyes and my girlfriends, Pamila and Phil |
Why thank you Rudedawg,,but after all your the one that thought it up,,hmm i wonder if any of these tricks work on Firkraag or Kagnaxx?
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All right who is flaming the Dwarves. Do you want me to sic my Dwarven Troll Slayer on you. And he will kill you because he thinks everyone is a Troll.
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Well, Grand-Ranger;
Not that dragon and demi-lich specifically... but, there IS a forgotten text; which I must add HAS been verified as to it's authenticity, this text speaks of a battle. THE BATTLE. A battle of such proportions that the gods themselves shook. The heavens screamed, and the portals between time and space opened and unloosed their grief. Yes, a big fight... oh, sorry. I get carried away sometimes, when I've been drinking. Anyways, the battle... The mercenaries huddled in a crack splitting the cliff face. The mixed group of humans and demi-humans had been lied to. The "simple job" they were hired for was a ruse to lure them in to a trap. That was the biggest green dragon they had ever heard of. "I think I heard somewhere, back in the tavern, that a guy knew a man who sold some stuff to this group who had heard of someone who read a book about a big green dragon. It's name was Ralph. Ralph the big green dragon." The other mercenaries looked at Elmo. One of them smacked the gnome on his head. Then, a booming voice roared. "Begone, mage! You will never wrestle the power from me!" Quickly, a large fighter scooped up Elmo, and held him overhead. "What do you see?" "Put me down!" He squealed. "They can see me!" Once lowered, he went on. "It's a big green dragon. I think his name is Ralph. Ralph the big green... Ack !" He rubbed his head where they had smacked him. "And there is a wizard taking to him. It's like the talks I used to have with my mother-in-law. They don't look happy. My mother-in-law was like Ralph the big green... Ack!" The booming voice had changed. It was still roaring, but now it was in Draconian, the tongue of the Dragons. The wizard answere in the same language. "Anyone know what they are saying?" One of the elves asked. Elmo answered, "The dragon said, 'My name is Ralph, the big green ...' Ack" With a flash of light , the dragon lifted into the sky. The wizard had changed, and was could be seen of him, seemed like a floating skull. Magic energies crackled amid the two, and the winds began to howl. "Yes, just like my mother-in-law. She makes that sound. Like this one time, she says 'Elmo, you talk a lot.' 'What ?' said I. 'Yes', she says. And then she... AAAARRRGGGHHHH" The men stuffed the rag into Elmo's mouth, and set the fuse in the potion. Together, they hurled him towards the swirling fusion of energy. As the men passed the bend in the mountain, the earth shook with the explosion. They went back to see, and the clif-face was empty. A week later, as they sat in the tavern, they heard a voice. "Hey guys, thanks for throwing me away from Ralph, the big green dragon. But, you must have been confused, because I went right AT THEM!!! It was like this one time, waay back, when I was young...." And so, ends the text. Beware the power of a gnome in flight, alight. http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...miles/hihi.gif http://cwm.ragesofsanity.com/cwm/cwm/read.gif ------------------ http://publish.hometown.aol.com/tobb...s/rudedawg.jpg http://www.phpshop.net/images/bg2guy/cov09.jpg The RudeDawg Known in these Forgotten Realms as Perin LightEyes and my girlfriends, Pamila and Phil [This message has been edited by RudeDawg (edited 05-09-2001).] [This message has been edited by RudeDawg (edited 05-09-2001).] |
legendary story rudedawg,legendary..
and Blademaster,,,well i never said ANYTHING about dwarfs.. *looks back at Rudedawg,Therro and onthepequod hush you three* Smiles at Blademaster |
Just be careful or I will have to release "Kors Bloodaxe the Dwarven Troll Slayer" and wup your arse.
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hhhmmmm how aerodynamic is "Kors" ? How mush does he weigh? How long is his beard, and what kind of armor is he wearing? Does he use an axe or sword? Hold on, let me check my notes... http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...miles/hihi.gif ------------------ http://publish.hometown.aol.com/tobb...s/rudedawg.jpg http://www.phpshop.net/images/bg2guy/cov09.jpg The RudeDawg Known in these Forgotten Realms as Perin LightEyes and my girlfriends, Pamila and Phil |
Ok RudeDawg just gat an axe upside the head from Kors
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Did anybody start catapulting draconians? Some of these buggers exploded on death or turned into pools of acid,so -
. tie them up pull their wings off catapult at enemy . just like mortars really! |
How bout a combo of what we've said here already?
Giant Catapult with: (1) Dwarven Battle Rager (unwashed, smells like elderberries) (1) Gnomish Alchemist (1) Innocent Halfling Bystander (with Delayed Blast Fireball) (1) Innocent Gnomish Bystander (Turnip Reflex factor!) (1) Dwarf (Beard Ignited + Gas!) Now this arrangement is a killer! |
Looks like I missed out on some fun last night (went to bed at 10:00).
I believe that I was asked about what to feed Dwarves in order to make them explosive. Forgive me for going back but I didn’t have time to properly answer the question last night. Well as I noted earlier this is a subject that runs deep with many conflicting but well supported theories. So, due to time constraints I will focus on the fringes of the art of “Cooking to Enhance the Gastrointestinal volatility of Dwarves.” That is I would like to explore the theoretical art of equipping a party to unleash the Dwarvian Mushroomius Cloudicus. In an oversimplification the steps are as follow: 1) The party’s cook must prepare twice fried Gibberling, fried up in healthy doses of possum grease, with about two boots full of properly aged compost (this provides a health quantity of specialized bacteria). 2) While the meal is being prepared the party must get the Dwarf completely sauced (drunk out of his little mind) because there is no way a sober Dwarf will eat this meal of his own accord. Unless of course the Dwarf is a Texan, then he/she will eat anything fried. It’s important to note, the alcohol, once atomized through the sphincter of a dwarf, adds an extra kick 3) It will take the whole party to feed the dwarf, even if he or she is completely obliterated by alcohol, so be prepared. The rewards will be worth the effort. 4) Once fed continue to give the dwarf large amounts of sugar and alcohol until he/she passes out. The sugar will excite the bacteria and passing out will make the hourly shaking process go more smoothly. 5) Once the Dwarf is incapacitated, religiously shake vigorously every hour on the hour until said dwarf awakens. 6) The device should now be armed and ready. 7) CAUTION: Make sure the Dwarf travels downwind from the rest of the party. Sorry, Blademaster but I was compelled to answer. If it’s any consolation, any Dwarven hero as well renowned as Kors would unquestionably be excluded from the “device” inventory. In fact I have heard rumors that he is the hero of Trademeet. In fact they have apparently erected a statue in his honor near the fountain (if you don’t believe me go see for yourself). |
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"Get Kors drunk first..." http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...miles/hihi.gif ------------------ http://publish.hometown.aol.com/tobb...s/rudedawg.jpg http://www.phpshop.net/images/bg2guy/cov09.jpg The RudeDawg Known in these Forgotten Realms as Perin LightEyes and my girlfriends, Pamila and Phil [This message has been edited by RudeDawg (edited 05-09-2001).] |
THIS IS UNETHICAL
------------------ http://www.phpshop.net/images/rikard/rikard2.gif The Githyanki Necromancer - High Magician of the Holy Flame |
unethical or not those assorted flying stumpy people can do a lot of collateral damage. and here is a funny exerpt from a dragonlance book.
The first dragon army engineers secret weapon: At that moment, their commanding minotaur Tchk'pal woke up. He stared around , saw himself in the bowl of the catapult. The sight had a sobering effect. "Sargas take you dracos!" he bellowed, struggling to free himself, "Get me out of this! I'll flail you alive for-" "FIRE!" Kang shouted. Slith sliced the retaining rope. The main arm of the catapult straigtened, sent the minatour soaring into the air. "Charge," said Kang, watching the minatour fly gracefully over the treetops. "Abyss take me!" Slith cried, racing up on the ramparts to watch. "Will you look at that sir!" The copper dragon had unleashed a stream of acid at a ballista site on the rampart. The weapon exploded, its crew scrambling to get out of the way of the attack. The copper dragon was preparing to pick them off one by one, when the minotaur hurtling through the air, struck the dragon squarely in the chest. "Dark Queens grace," Kang said, awed "Sank his horns right into it!" He turned to his sub commander. "Nice shot Slith!" "Thank you sir," Slith replied. The dragon and its elven rider and the minotaur fell like so many sacks of potatoes. They hit the ground hard, sending up a great cloud of dust. "A glorious death," said Kang solemnly. "And honorable," Slith added. He raised his voice. "The commanders dead! A moments silence for the dead commander." After a few seconds, Kang said, "I dont think they heard you." Slith shrugged. i thought it fit in this thread quite nicelyhttp://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...es/biggrin.gif ------------------ http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/No.../azurewolf.gif "I was born of darkness. My fathers eyes closed before mine opened. I am not of this world or the other, and I have the right to be what I am..." |
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Is that yours, or really from a DL book? (I'm behind in my "official" game books...) http://cwm.ragesofsanity.com/cwm/3dlil/read.gif ------------------ http://publish.hometown.aol.com/tobb...s/rudedawg.jpg http://www.phpshop.net/images/bg2guy/cov09.jpg The RudeDawg Known in these Forgotten Realms as Perin LightEyes and my girlfriends, Pamila and Phil |
nope it is DL 100% written by Don Perrin and Margaret Weis. I had to dig down in my collection to find it. it's in The Dragons at War
------------------ http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/No.../azurewolf.gif "I was born of darkness. My fathers eyes closed before mine opened. I am not of this world or the other, and I have the right to be what I am..." |
* a ranger walks out in those white seicetist like robes over he weapons and armor*
This is what we have thus far.. The dwarfs *sorry blade master* will be the main amunition The gnomes,as always will be the engeneris,we shall design catupults and sling shots once the dwarfs are fired,we will load the halflings in sling shots,,once that its done i guess its just to the regular battle,should be easy enough |
hey u forgot the minotaurshttp://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...les/tongue.gif those horns can be dangerous
------------------ http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/No.../azurewolf.gif "I was born of darkness. My fathers eyes closed before mine opened. I am not of this world or the other, and I have the right to be what I am..." |
wear only doing smaller races Azure
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read the story i posted above on this thread and youll see they can do some serious damage. I just like my minotaurshttp://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...les/tongue.gif ------------------ http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/No.../azurewolf.gif "I was born of darkness. My fathers eyes closed before mine opened. I am not of this world or the other, and I have the right to be what I am..." |
De-leg the minotur He's a lot smaller if you do hehe
BTW THIS IS UNETHICAL ------------------ http://www.phpshop.net/images/rikard/rikard2.gif The Githyanki Necromancer - High Magician of the Holy Flame |
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small minotaurs.... ------------------ http://publish.hometown.aol.com/tobb...s/rudedawg.jpg http://www.phpshop.net/images/bg2guy/cov09.jpg The RudeDawg Known in these Forgotten Realms as Perin LightEyes and my girlfriends, Pamila and Phil |
Or try polymorphing the Minotaur into a squirrel and timing the catapult so the polymorph spell wears of immediately prior to impact. This would give the added benefit of surprise! http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/noncgi/smiles/wow.gif
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yippee!!!!!!!
Well in that case i better put on my lab coat and lock myself away in a room for a few years with my experiments until I create........ <h1>A MONSTER!!</h1> <h5> a small one tho</h5> ------------------ http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/No.../azurewolf.gif "I was born of darkness. My fathers eyes closed before mine opened. I am not of this world or the other, and I have the right to be what I am..." |
hmm..
*scribbels down* Cut legs off of minatours That will be challenging.But if we do that,then they wont weigh as much and thush ave far less impact |
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------------------ http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/No.../azurewolf.gif "I was born of darkness. My fathers eyes closed before mine opened. I am not of this world or the other, and I have the right to be what I am..." |
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