Lily the Ranger - I stumbled into the BGII forum by mistake and saw a posting (insert BGII for WW) with this subject. Oh, the answers had me laughing (I don't even know BOO). So I thought it might be fun here as well. My suggestion: . . . if you attempt to cast Spirit Eye to find your car keys. . . . if someone has to tell you were the switch that turns on your lights are. . . . if you suddenly feel faint, grab some stranger and bite them on the neck.

dcch ... you find yourself trying to cast illuminate at 3 am on the way to the terlit~ dh

thoon ... If you wonder how many hit points that guy on the street has.

Davros - If you come to a ladder and laugh, scorning its' use, throwing youself over the precipice, screaming Geronimo and readying your Healing Realm spell. If you go to pick up that piece of paper on the floor and instead find youself doing a merry waltz while humming the the Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy. If you come across a perfectly good ship, and decide it's pointless using this thing, how big could a sea be, I'll just swim.

xenotoca - when you are afraid to go into the garden in case there are Amazonian mantraps out there. when you invite 5 friend to join you on your horse for a ride. when you dont bother to pick up anything you drop saying dont worry it will have dissapered when I come back. when you go to the local town hall and ask for a quest. when you start reading and answering threads like this on the W&W board.

PuterGeek - If it's 3 am and you jump every time a snake appears in the temple.

Lily the Ranger - when you finally get around to shaving your legs, you say you are cutting through the "Forgotten Forest" and wonder if there is a place on the map of the same name. when you have renamed all the pets in the house to match characters in the game. when you think you never have to eat or sleep. when you ask your significant other to wrap themselves in saranwrap, shave their heads and bit you.

Sazerac ...when you refer to your boss as "Cet Ude D'ua Khan" under your breath... Sazerac (great thread, Lily!)

Scronan - You accidently say "Toad village is for TOADS!" at work and wonder why your co-workers are staring at you... You keep saying "Goodnight Ukabu" before going off to sleep... If you find yourself at the supermarket in the booze aisle, and wonder where the "Boogre Brew" is.... Scronan

Davros - Someone walks up and offers you the opportunity to join the living dead by becoming a vampire - and you say "Why the hell not". Someone asks you a simple question requiring a simple answer and you say "Yes Yes Yes". You swear that the cute little muppet on the kiddies program just said "Yah pays fa pies, You dead yet hairless?" Da polytyshuns shounds likes da Boogres. A perfect stranger (let's call him Kol) comes up to you gibbering "Don't go in there, the horror, the evil, the most vile satanic practices you could imagine", and you think "That sounds like a lark, got me bottle of red, where's the doorbell".

Drukus - When you realise that you should be studying for your Exam t'row, but your posting on the W&W forum instead.... Oh S*#T... i have an exam t'row! Drukus

Wyvern - LOL!!! Great thread!!! When you expect to find Tub Piranha when you take a bath. You try to click on your car to get in or out. When you plan your next vacation booking no inn/hotel because you can't rest there anyways. You don't open your Christmas presents because you know they will all be rusty swords. You give everyone rusty swords for Christmas. You try to ID the items in your junk drawer. (and succeed) You try to light the yulelog or plum pudding with Incinerate. Wyv

Davros - Oh, time for one more before going to bed - it's the turn to pick on the Nymphs. You KNOW that you are playing W&W too much when some bare chested, huge breasted babe walks right up to you with a giggle, and runs her hands all over your body, and the only thing you can think of by way of response is to caste a quick flamedrop spell while.... ARRRRRGGGGHHHH - Man, this game has gone too far, beyond all human nature - quick, I need to get back in touch with reality.

Lily the Ranger - Wyv! You have escaped! When you take a pick ax to the the mounds in the cat box because there is a chance there might be a gem in there. When you unscrew the bulbs on the Christmas tree when no one is looking, ID the red ones as rubies and run down to Zales in hopes of getting some cash. When all your breadsticks are formed in the shape of ankhs and you try to "invoke" them. when you are playing your game instead of working because you ?need something?. *these pirated from BGII* when you throw away all your keys because you are a master at picking locks. when you click on people to see if they have something important to say.

tritone ... when you, while watching the Jabba/desert scene of Return of the Jedi, scream "Amazoni Mantrap!" at the sight of the sarlaac (the monster with the tentacles and maw which Jabba was going to feed Luke/Han/etc to). Hey, it actually happened to me
RavenW ... you try to use the "Tusk of Lust" on your girlfriend "hoping" she'll give you another "Evil Element" ... you start shopping around Filenes for that perfect leopard print loin-cloth for your "Barbarian". ... you go to Italy and try to cast Stone to Flesh on the statue of David. ... you try to claim "Identify Items Fees" as a deduction on your taxes.

Jungwirsch ... you go to your fitness center and ask the attendant how much it will be to train your strength to level 18 ... you get detention for repeatedly pestering your biology teacher about what one can do with a rat skull ... you have the "local weirdo" reputation at your favourite porn shop after asking the salesperson about the defense value of that leather bra ... you're barred from your local department store after beating up the clerk with a lisp, shouting "This is for Gareth!" at the top of your lungs May the farce be with you

Scronan - You stop to pick up some change on the ground and start spinning in circles and fall off the sidewalk. Then you yell "A POX ON THEE, DWB!" You wonder if the goth chic that your dating would dress up like Lysandra, and possibly breathe ice. You buy your girlfriend a plate mail bra and tell her it will give her full body defence and make her look sexy at the same time. You sit in the theatre watching Dungeons and Dragons yelling "MAGMA BOMB! MAGMA BOMMMMMMMMMB!" Everytime you are near a graveyard, you look over your shoulder in case there might be a walking undead. You should up at your Karate dojo and ask your sensei to teach you Tiger Strike. You wander the markets in China Town wondering where you can find rat pie. You find yourself running in and out of hotels, hoping it will make the 20 bucks in your wallet multiply a few times. Scronan

Mammawlin - Your daughter who lives 2500 miles away sends a message saying "Hey mom are you online?" and you reply "Yes, Ukabu, but you get to work, mom too busy right now reading thread from Lily the Ranger in WW forum!" LOL

ExtremistBruce ... you're at a department meeting and you read the same status report to every single person individually.

carg - you're in a meeting, the vote goes 6 to 1 against you, and you say: "you're outnumbered. Don't be a fool or you'll pay dearly." Great thread Lily.

Lily the Ranger - Thanks! I am having such fun and my family gathers around the computer to read the latest. Need laughter, laughter good. . . . when you finish a project and expect experience points. . . . when while out Christmas shopping, you wonder if you can cut down the toadish fellow blocking the aisle without alerting the other shoppers. . . . when you believe you actually KNOW how to swim. (Oops, did I save?) . . . when you make voodoo dolls with your children's playdough. . . . when you look at your coworkers and think: "He'd make a wonderful Ratling." . . . when you put coins in a vending machine and expect: A) incense, B) treasure, C) wandering monsters. . . . when you are miffed at the cashier for ignoring you high level merchant skill and charging you full price.

Archimedes ...when you are considering changing careers, but decide to wait for a few more months because you are just about to "level". ...when, just as you try to broadjump a puddle, you look UP for extra distance. ...when you need to move stuff around to fit it in your backpack, but you don't want to take anything out because it might "disappear". Fun thread. Enjoyed the posts so far.

Jungwirsch ... you're in town for a business trip, drop your laptop clumsily while walking, and the thought shoots through your head "Oh no, it's gone for good!"

Jungwirsch ... when they stop to talk to you at work after you assaulted your advisor Sheila the day she wore that black dress without pockets, mumbling something about "pickpocketing a tusk of lust" May the farce be with you

Henry.ch ... when a beutiful woman (or man if you're female) walks toward you and the only thing you can say is 'Mmh, new plaything'. ... when you're sitting in an arena chanting 'Boogers! Boogers! WHAHAHA!'

Drukus ....When you walk down the street trying to figure out if the people are friend or foe, but your cursor wont turn red or blue! ....You find your self spending too much time thinking about how many Exp you would get from killing family members! "Hey... they are only NPC's, I wont need them later..."

teefha ... when you drop your key after opening the door... teefha

Lily the Ranger - when you check for roaches before using the elevator. when you believe you are superior to others because: they were born naked, you came into the world scantily clothed and clutching 200 gp. when you receive a piece of jewelry for a gift and immediately wonder: how many charges does it have, how much can I get for this at the pawn shop, is it cursed?

carg ...when you drop a pack of milk, and think: restore. Oh no, quit, ehhh, quit again, ehhh oh yes, load.

Serath ...you have to activate a series of levers and drop a serpent coin into a slot to gain access to your house. ...you get upset when city hall won't pay you a reward for collecting skeleton skulls. ...you keep a spider egg press in your kitchen drawer, for those special occasions. Serath

PIMP - you know when your playing to much when you refer to your d--k as mavin instead of what your women calls it.
the mick ...you start throwing kitchen knives at your dog, who kinda likes like a worgur... ...you don't burn any incense, because you just never know when you'll be going to the serpent temple... ...you run at even the thought of an amozomi mantrap... ...you read through the strategy guide and think, hell i could write a better version(oh wait...)... ...you honestly believe your shower can regenerate your hit points...

wolpak ...you are standing on the street and everyone is moving around doing their own thing, but as soon as someone approaches you, everyone stops and waits to see what you do before they continue. ...your relative who passed away was buried with a swords and a shield because if they ever DID come alive, they would need something to kill you with ...you walk down the hall in your office building and you hear someone one floor up talking to you as you pass by ...you break everything you come across to see if it has anything inside, and tell people that it is ok because you can still stack them even though they are broken ...you skip the ferry back to NY cause your horse can swim the Hudson just as fast ...someone stops to ask you for help, and then runs away from you when ever you try to talk to them ...you realize your college fraternity is an order of monks as they both make you take off all your clothes for two days and run around in circles

freudianslip .. you try to cast flamedrop on your hamburger patty for lunch. .. you enjoy four bean burritos at Taco Bell™ and are afraid of accidentally casting a stink cloud on your friends.

Wyvern - I love this thread!!!! you won't enter an elevator if 5 people entered before you. you wonder if you can get the bank teller to cash the same check more than once if you can just pickpocket it. you start playing idols in geometric patterns around your library and expect a secret entrance to appear. you start wishing you could be the dragon. you wish that they'd put out a game level editor so that you and all the great friends you've made here could make some new places to explore. (Welcome to LilyLand) you try to carry the Boogres to the Aku idol and force them to touch it. you spend time finding out all the things you can climb on top of (can you take chests and crates out of Skull Castle to see if you can get up on top of the skull?). you want to repair the burnt out house so you could move in and teach the game to "rest". Wyv

Karnara - Playing too long??? You mean it's a game? I have heard of twins, triplets and I think there are even octets... but what is up with these highland rogues?? There must be a million and they all look alike. I told one of them his mother must have been a slut he hit for 2 points of damage. I can put Zenmaster on my resume right?? Do you think that Ben Johnson has a SHIFT key?

Lily the Ranger - when you smash the barrels at the deli and find pickles. when you are afraid of windmills. when you insist on doing everything yourself to get more experience points. when you can explain the location of quest items but cannot find your daughter's Algebra test. Is it me or does the scourge o'the sea look like John Malkovich?

ExtremistBruce ... you understand every single one of the jokes in this thread!

YOU KNOW YOU'VE BEEN PLAYING TOO MUCH WHEN:

You are at the bakery, at the back of line, and you yell out "Chit, Chit, Ya pays for pies!"

Mark

YOU KNOW YOU'VE BEEN PLAYING TOO MUCH WHEN:
You finally get to the front of the line at that same bakery and you ask for rat pie. (It's kinda stinky,but there ain't none better!)

Mark

When you get beat up pretty bad and you crawl to your local church and ask for healing.
When your arrested for mutilating bats in a nearby cave.
When your doctor asks you why you havent eaten or slept in days and you reply that its ok, your a lvl 14 priest.

When you hear song you have never heard before on the radio and could swear that the lyrics were "Dibby Dibby Die!"
; )
Moni

(Disturbed doing "Stupify"...The words are actually "Live and Never Die!")

Shut Up!
; )

Wonderful revisiting, Wyvern! Thanks!

Some more from the wanderings of a lonely mind...

When you try to cast "Vanish" on the traffic jam in front of you so you can get to your meeting on time...
When you get to an office building, and the elevator doors are closing, you grab a cockroach and throw it in the door to make the elevator come back down again..
You scour the Friday "Guide" section in your cities newspaper for restaurant reviews that feature "Sauteed Monkey Paws"...
A midget asks you if you want to make a fortune and you kill him so you can get a new Role...
You find yourself wanting to use a red hot poker on the clown in the next cubicle to get him to cooperate on the project...
You go to a local rockshow, buy all the crystals you can find, and use them on every hole in your walls to see if they open up secret doors or elevators...


-Sazerac (who realizes, after reading this, how many wonderful posters are no longer here . . . )

when you go to the Egyptian room in your local art museum and the guards haul you away for rearranging decorative obelisks.

when you try to find someone at the beach to make you masks and breathers from the shells you've collected.

when you think you can use a walking stick to unlock a door.

when you ask a particularly long winded salesman if he is related to Sebastio.

Wyv

When you have no money for lunch and you seriously thinking about casting "Blood to Gold"!
Ouch!

Mark

OFF TOPIC - Saz - yes there are a lot of wonderful posters missing, many who never even posted to this thread. I try to keep in contact with some of them and plan, when the new board IS up and running, to see if I can't convince them to drop in and pay us a visit! I miss them!!

ON TOPIC:

when you worry that if you use the gold cheat the IRS will find out.

when you wonder what the spandex content is on all the clothing in W&W.

Wyv

When You are afraid to use an elevator in case you get crush damage.
When you get stopped at customs for carrying an assortment of metal stabbing weapons.
When you insist that the assistant in the clothes shop should place tags on all items showing %damage and AC bonus.

when you won't visit Mammoth Caves because you are certain it is just a Boogres trap!

Wyv

You know you are the "Chosen One" and wonder why the "Three Oracles" will not let you pass through the gate without a "Passport". You say to them, "But I am the Chosen One, and I have the Holy Signant!"

When you quit your PhD program because you figure you'll only have the degree conferred by the time you're about to retire anyhow (Zen?)

When you hand in a research report, get commended for it, leave the room, come back in, hand it in again, etc., hope that in this way you'll satisfy all the course requirements for the year in under one hour.

When you have a Tourette's-like desire to yell Zibby Dibby Die in confession.

When you don't bother improving yourself in any way, because it really brings no social benefit.

When you get discouraged with university because even after your fourth masters degree and second PhD, the guy at the bookstore will always be more powerful than you.

When you start walking the streets of your town with your face pressed to the buildings beside you, in case this lets you map more.

When you look at your supervisor and think, "he looks so lifelike. Why does he still think as two-dimentionally as an Intellevision game?" ("...for the last time, I DID find the leprechaun!!")

When you finished the game in about a month, then spend the next two months hooked on the message forum. Great thread!

You know you have been playing to long when...you are found outside buck naked talking to a mishapen oak tree about dragon arrows and pyramids...

When you see your priest at church and greet him with, "Hello, (name of your Priest character)".

When you begin to hate the bats you see at the zoo.

http://www.tgeweb.com/ironworks/cgi-...iles/dark3.gif http://www.tgeweb.com/ironworks/cgi-...iles/dark5.gif http://www.tgeweb.com/ironworks/cgi-...uble0smile.gif http://www.tgeweb.com/ironworks/cgi-...sfiring_v1.gif http://www.tgeweb.com/ironworks/cgi-...es/biggrin.gifjsmile: http://www.tgeweb.com/ironworks/cgi-.../smiles/ak.gif http://www.tgeweb.com/ironworks/cgi-...iles/flipa.gif http://www.tgeweb.com/ironworks/cgi-...miles/moon.gif

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Apprentice2All

[This message has been edited by gregger (edited 03-04-2001).]

[This message has been edited by gregger (edited 03-04-2001).]

When after months of playing and reading this board you still can learn something new!

Wyv

You don't need to play anymore because you can play the game in your head.

------------------
http://images.honesty.com/imagedata/...7/29096743.jpg

When one of your lungs collapses because you think u can dive 200 feet into the water and emerge alive and ok every time.
When You raid all the religious shops looking for crosses so you can invoke them to increase your strength and make you smarter etc.
When You decide u dont wanna be a monk because then you wont be able to learn how to cure yourself of poison (the knowledge will be permanently inaccesible because the universe doesnt allow monks to learn how to cure poison by themselves, but strangely it allows priests to do it)
When you dont mind walking around town dressed only in a loincloth, because everyone will understand that you are just starting in your adventure.
When you expect your local jeweler to send you on a quest and then rudely ask you why you havent done it yet everytime you stop by to look at his rings.
When you become frustrated because you cant find a decent armor store or thieves guild in the yellow pages.

Still playing the game in my dreams

suspected my brother to be the Cet in disguise

called the bar 'tavern'

my index finger is swollen from fighting and running

http://cwm.ragesofsanity.com/s/fk/warrior.gif




[This message has been edited by adam warlock (edited 03-05-2001).]

when you ask your chaplin, "where's the weapons? and not the crap either, i want the good stuff."

you see horses and wonder what it would take to kill them, and how many oomphaz they could carry.

you keep thinking you've just seen a little shadow run by.

you give the butcher a rare book, hoping he'll teach you how to rebuild your engine.

think seriously about promotions that would ruin your social life.

When you start chasing spiders to get an egg cause your want to be a warlock.

When you take your wedding ring into a jewelers to see what enchants it has on it.

When you go to your local graveyard with thoughts of getting more skulls.

You know you've been playing to much when you spend most of your time talking about it in forums and chat groups.

------------------
http://www.angelfire.com/pq/maxpower/maxani.gif ......shake it baby.

When the names you recognize on this board outnumber the names of co-workers you see every day...
And you hope those co-workers will never guess what you'll do to them as soon as you DO find a decent sword...
When you begin to think of getting out of bed in the morning as levelling up...
And you wonder why you don't have more hit points when you finally do...

When you see a group of people sitting at a table at the bar, and your first thought of what to say is.."Helllooooo warm-skins".

Kung Ming

This is REALLY funny!

You know when you have been playing too much when....

You've cast spirit eye to find your car keys and....

Once in your car you look for the P key at red traffic lights....

You get home and look for a lever to open your front door, then wait for ages while your house loads.....

You can never fry mushrooms again without being armed with a flame thrower....

You water your plants from a distance....

You have to ask the message board where you left your slippers and some guy tells you that you never needed them anyway...

Oh, and Wyvern, I know Boo well - I have spent many months in the company of this rabid hamster. He needs a red hot rivet where the sun doesn`t shine lol!

This board looks like fun! See you all around!

Hi Cathy!
Welcome aboard. I'm glad you made it. Stick around this IS the best W&W forum on the Net.

Mark

A warm welcome indeed to you, Cathy! We're very glad you're here. http://www.tgeweb.com/ironworks/cgi-...iles/smile.gif

-Sazerac

you know you have been playing too much when you cant think of anymore of these jokes... cause there are a million out there.

i know its not funny but i am just trying to keep this thread on top http://www.tgeweb.com/ironworks/cgi-...iles/smile.gif

When you call your boss/co-worker Shinwiki cuz he/she is cold blooded, but you really think that Shinwiki is smarter.

When you tell a friend not to worry because you are not going to "Go Toad" on him and wonder why he doesn't understand.

You tell a friend that something is badah-ookey and wonder why they look at you even stranger than usual.

You are convinced that the mosquitos in your area are really giant swampflies.

You wonder where you can submit ideas for the Gael Sarran Examiner. (I would love to see an article on Toad Tipping.)

You wont go near the airport because you are afraid that one of the dragons might breath on you and you left your dragon armor/rings of protection at home.

Knarfling


------------------
Only two of my personalites have delusions, but one of them is paranoid and the other is out to get him.

i like the 1st one and the go toad one

...when you do searches to find polls such as these to push them to the top for newbies http://www.tgeweb.com/ironworks/cgi-...miles/wink.gif

-Sazerac

YOU KNOW YOU'VE BEEN PLAYING TOO MUCH WHEN:

...the paramedics are about to take you to the asylum because you have been running naked through the woods for two days and you scream: "No! I'm not ready! The Ghouls! I'm not a monk yet!"

[This message has been edited by Elcid (edited 03-31-2001).]

...you decide that you're wasting those eight hours of sleep a night because there's really no such things as sleeping

...you believe that you can run from one city to another without breaking a sweat (but you do get to gasp a little)

...you know you could swim the Pacific if you wanted to

...you believe you can hang out indefinitely underwater as long as something is attacking you

...you hate how it takes forever to get in or out of your city, even if it's only one step

...in spite of this, you go to the edge of town and step out, cast toughen spells and step back in

...you have no need for food

...you try to find spell books and scrolls in your local bookstore

...and try to find the potion section in the pharmacy

...it makes sense to you that a wizard can wear suede boots, but not leather (and you throw out your leather shoes 'cause they're useless now)

...you wonder where the local lockpick shop is, and don't understand why the police object when you pick everyone's pockets

...you have no problem with the concept of carrying 200 heal potions in your pocket

...you can't sleep at night wondering why those 200 potions fit in the same space as one, but nice flat scrolls and other potions can't

...you think it's just as easy to jump out the window as take the stairs or elevator, 'cause you've got enough hit points

Yet a new one:

You know you've been playing WW too much when you identify the 20th short blade in a row and think to yourself, "Oh, joy, yet another Main Gauche +2"...

(just happened to me, folks!)

Sazerac (and up to the top for the newcomers)...

Topside also for the enjoyment of newer players! http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...iles/smile.gif

Wyv

You know you've been playing to much when you jump off your roof 'cause it's easier (and just as deadly) than using a ladder.

You've been playing too long when you find yourself thinking strategy to defeat Amazoni Mantraps and other beasties while in a business meeting!

LOL!!!!!

You know you've been playing this game too much when:

...you try to cast reveal on the hot guy (or gal) walking by...

...you find yourself incessantly humming the stout song and making up new lyrics...

...you wonder if the Blue Man Group off-broadway is just a bunch of vampires (and would they look sexier in v-necks)...

...you know the stout mines better than your own back yard...

...you find yourself hugging oak trees, or at least the ones that don't send a swarm of bugs down on you...

...when the elevator bounces at work, you calmly assume there's a mummy or ghost underneath... and don't even question how you can crush a ghost...

...when you look at the statue in town square or the park to see if its naked butt is hanging out...

...when you wonder if you already have Ardibren's Journal on one of your bookshelves...

oh, and Wyv? I do click on my car and it opens and closes.


AliCat

Ali - hehehe

Hullo Everyone. Does anyone else besides me expect to be healed whenever they approach a water fountain to get a drink? Or that applying crush damage to that cockroach will give me the one exp.pt. my companion(s) need to gain a level? Does anyone else cast armored realm, multiple blessings, toughen and heroic might when they go out for a walk at night? Mmmmmmm...sleep(at work).