Not starting just yet, just posting the stats and such.

Jerr Quickfoot
Male Halfling Fighter (18) Thief (21)
Proficiencies:
Sword and Shield Style: ** (I used Shadowkeeper to switch from two weapon style to sword and shield style)
Short Swords: **
Sling: **
Short Bow: **

Str: 14
Dex: 20
Con: 11
Int: 14
Wis: 14
Cha: 18

Ok before I go on, I have a question. I just noticed that my alignment has inexplicably turned to NEUTRAL EVIL when it's supposed to be Neutral Good. Is this a bug of the Sola Mod or does this happen when you go to ToB?

It's not a bug.

The decisions you make at the end of SoA can have an effect on your alignment.

I'm pretty sure I made good decisions though. I didn't use the Black Talon sword. I didn't use the nymph cloak and I braved the fear without any spell aids. I didn't do anything bad that I can think of near the end.

Chapter One: Of Embarrassing Family

So there we were, vacationing at Suldanessalar, when our respite is interrupted by someone claiming to be my sister. The horrid woman obviously didn't know how to apply make-up, according to Immy. This Ilasera said there was only room for one mage/thief in our family and attacked Imoen!

What choice did we have? We had to kill her.

Then we were transported back to Hell.

By Brandobaris's ample buttocks, is this going to happen each and every time I kill someone!?

Then an angel appeared and we got into a lengthy discussion about my destiny and why turnips are bad for you. She left, only to be replaced by Sarevok! The guy wouldn't shut up unless I gave him part of my soul so he could live again! After the third day of havilng to hear the sod sing a song called "My Heart Will Go On", I agreed just to shut him up.

He informed me we weren't in Hell. We were in a pocket plane. And each room here was a test. I took the first test and passed!

Then a statue informed me I could summon friends and have a party if I want, so I did. Had them equipped, and they went to party in Jerr's Pocket Plane. Viconia complained that Keldorn was drinking all of the ale, though.

Finally, I met my butler, Cespenar. He made a few shiny items for me.

You killed the Dragon of Pride. The good option for getting that tear is to keep questioning the demon in front of the dragon until he admits that you don't actually have to kill the dragon to get the tear. Once you make it clear to the demon that you won't attack the dragon and the conversation ends, you can simply walk up to the dragon and it will give you the tear.

And by the way, since I'm posting, let me add that your tales of Jerr Quickfoot's exploits are absolutely hilarious. Thanks and keep it coming!

[ 02-16-2005, 01:25 PM: Message edited by: Klutz ]

Ah I see. Thanks for the info.

I changed it back to Neutral Good.

And thanks for the comments.

[ 02-16-2005, 03:21 PM: Message edited by: Jerr Conner ]

Chapter Two: Saradush

We found out that the Pocket Plane is exitable by the big gaping hole near the statues. After entering it, we all found ourselves in a city besieged by Fire Giants! Some woman named Mellisan was surprised to see us, then guards attack us thinking we're spies!

After making short work of them, Mellisan explains some stuff to us then we head to the bar to get drunk. Unofrtunately, these stupid guards were ruining everything by hitting on our waitress. Each time they pinched her, our drinks would be spilled! So we confronted the men. They said they'd stop if we let them have Imoen, Jaheira, and Aerie for a little sport: wrong response! Thanks to Aerie and Imoen, Boo has two new "girlfriends" in the form of polymorphed soldiers.

We met Volo in the back of the bar, who is writing a story about me :D

He plans to call them The Adventures of Jerr Quickfoot, Halfling Thief and Swordsman :D

Then we talked to Viekang, a brother it turns out. I remembered him from Trademeet.

After that, we headed to the local magic shop to buy some magic. The owner's book had been stolen, though, so he hired us to find his book. The one clue, muddy small footprints.

Outside we talked to the boy Squip. He admitted to spying on the wizard, but only to blackmail the old man! Hectan, a thief, had stolen the book.

Hectan admitted to it, and he'd give it back for a teleportation scroll. Lazurus gave us one but warned us that it wouldn't work. Anyone using it would go splat! We told Hectan that much, but noooo, he wouldn't listen! At the moment he cast the spell, Boo's new "girlfriends" hitched a ride on Hectan's body thinking to escape! As Hectan exploded, so did the guards which doubled the amount of blood to spray all over the place. Why doesn't anyone ever listen!?

The bartender said it was our fault and made us pay for the mess!

Next, we found some elves a home and freed a man named Mateo from wrongful imprisonment. I met a few other brothers around town as well.

Now, into Gromnir's castle!

Chapter Three: Gromnir's Castle

At the tavern, we asked around and found out that the old Jail was occupied by vamps. We asked the priestess at the local temple for a key and she gave us one.

In the old jail, we encountered a ghost who kept bothering us for his head and necklace. After freeing him, he gave us a reward.

Then we slaughtered all of the vampires.

Exiting the Prison into Gromnir's Castle's Prison, I met another sister who commented how crazy we were for trying to sneak into Gromnir's castle! I took it as a compliment. After defeating his guards, we freed the prisoners.

Two doors leading to the same room, such a nice ambush opportunity :D

Minsc and I took one, then as the guards attacked us, the rest of the gang opened the next door and rained arrows, bolts, and bullets on them!

Then Aerie and Imoen had a discussion about how the taint of Bhaal gives us the munchies.

After that, Aerie and Sola teamed up since they wanted to test their new wands of lightening :D

Simple plan really. Open a door, use wands, close door.

This plan helped us make our way into Gromnir's Castle :D

We were ambushed up the stairs, but taking out the mage first tipped the battle. Then before heading to Gromnir's throne room, where he'd surely be, our spellcasters cast some blessings on us. Upstairs, we heard a suspicious conversation between Mellisan and Gromnir. He had her taken away, then he attacks us!

So much for diplomacy :(

Mellisan yelled at us after killing Gromnir, something about him knowing the exact location of her diary. I hope we find her diary someday [img]smile.gif[/img]

After that, I agreed to stop Yaga Shura. First, we wanted to see what the hub bub was all bout concerning the Sewers. Boy, that almost killed us! Poor Aerie got Mazed twice :(

Then using the Pocket Plane, we found a way out of the city. Saved some cute Merchants too :D Sola has been getting mad at me a lot lately. Silly elf! Does he not know it's ok to stare!?

Chapter Four: The Temple and Yaga-Shura's Home

It didn't take too long to wade through the soliders of Yaga-Shura. Once we made it to the temple, though, we were confronted by who appeared to be Gorion! Of course I knew it wasn't Gorion the moment he mentioned catching me in the barn with a girl at the age of sixteen [img]tongue.gif[/img]

So whatever it was attacked. Of course, they didn't have much of a chance as Sola used the Daystar's sunray, Aerie cast Sunray, and I used the Helm of Brilliance's sunray. Tallk about over-kill!

Since we were now wary, we quickly cast some protection spells and headed forward. Some undead nearly killed us. Thank Brandobaris for Sola's Moonray! Or more appropriately, Eilistraee!

Then we met a witch named Nyalee. She said she was Yaga-Shura's mom and wanted him dead. Minsc commented how odd it was that such a small woman could give birth to a giant. Boo shook his head in shame.

At Yaga-Shura's home, we encountered an odd group of monsters and battled our way through Fire Giants. When we finally arrived at the door, we prepared with more spells of protection expecting the guards to be at the door. How right we were!

Sola casts Ice Storm, then Aerie and Imoen chain lightening! Jaheira casts Insect Plague, and then Me, Aerie, Sola, and Imoen use wands of lightening on the Fire Giants! Even with all of that damage, we still nearly exhausted our potions of healing! Luckily the giants hadn't so we restocked from their corpses [img]smile.gif[/img]

The next few fights were the same. Believe it or not, we only needed to rest once. I found a nice new belt made of fire giant hair that gives me great strength! I can now carry all of the party on my wee shoulders :D

After clearing the level, we headed upstairs.

Chapter Five: Confronting Yaga-Shura

The second level wasn't as easy. Check it out for yourself:

http://www.weblogimages.com/v.p?uid=...sid=tOQ55vxyY8

Luckily for us, Sola's Chain Lightening had allowed Jaheira to cast Insect Plague in time to help us Though when I made the following comment, Jaheira got mighty mad.

http://www.weblogimages.com/v.p?uid=...sid=jpH26ehAT5

http://www.weblogimages.com/v.p?uid=...sid=gvM49nGIN8

We snagged Yaga-Shura's Heart and headed to his room.

Finally we found Yaga-Shura's room. Unfortunately, Imix, the Prince of Fire was guarding it. Wait...nevermind. Twas as easy as pouring buckets of water on him and his allies :D

Underneath Yaga-Shura's bed, we found the heart of his mother's, and a diary along with an assorment of panties. Here is an exceprt from the diary:

"Mumsy is sooo smothering sometimes! I told her that I needed to eat the hearts of Bhaalspawn, but nooo! Mumsy says they're high in cholestoral and I'm heading to an early grave! What does mumsy know anyway? She thinks that Bhaal will make such a great dadsy for me! Bugger on mumsy!

My collecting of panties go well! Now I almost have enough to properly dress my fire giants in! They do object to having to wear panties as armor, but I'll not have my fire giants looking brutish. When we tear down the walls of Saradush, we shall look fab-u-lous!

Mumsy's heart has been removed, HURRAH! Now she's not as smothering as before, however she seems to want me dead now. The Swamps will cure her of that!"

http://www.weblogimages.com/v.p?uid=...sid=him07DPRX3

Of course our snickering attracted two fire giants.

http://www.weblogimages.com/v.p?uid=...sid=CGQ23crLM9

Luckily, a well-placed mass sleeping spell our mages learned let the two fall asleep. Mental note: Try to teach Sola to be a little more manly sounding. Jaheira and Aerie are starting to feel he's a bitt too girly these days to be an elf ever since he left the Underdark. They express their embarrassment each time someone asks if all male elves act like that.

Then we headed to the Swamp. Nyalee extinguished the hearts, unfortunately she did too good a job. She started ranting about how I had to die before her boy ate my heart and died of a heart attack!

The battle wasn't too hard considering Minsc always seems to be able to attract Nymphs. Jaheira took out the Shambling Mounds when she transformed into a Fire Elemental. Nyalee I backstabbed. All in all, a short battle. All we had to do was wait for Minsc to get back from his date with the nymphs. How many sites are there to see in a swamp anyway?

We headed to the siege camp as soon as Minsc came back. Bollocks, they destroyed Saradush! Yaga-Shura ranted about how invincible he was until I wounded him, to which he said, "Oh no! Mumsy has betrayed me!"

Then I ended up killing my fire-giant brother.

http://www.weblogimages.com/v.p?uid=...sid=iyA70biJS5

Solar teleported us to the Pocket Plane to introduce me to my psychotic mother and a young Sarevok. I sort of feel bad for Sarevok, considering I could easily have been where he is. But then, Sarevok-Child tried stealing my short sword so I didn't feel as bad.

Chapter Six: The Oasis and The Desert Town

I took another test at the Pocket Plane. It was what would have happened if I were in Sarevok's Place. I must've been really strong because I was using a long sword AND medium shield!

I passed the test, which was basically me killing myself. Odd how that reads.

Then we had to go through and Oasis full of soldiers bent on my death! Reading some scrolls on their bodies, I have quite the bounty on my head. Is it so wrong of me to be mad the bounty isn't for my robberies across the Sword Coast?

Then in town I saved the Mayor's daughter from execution for stealing the Mercenaries candy. Those mercenaries sure love chocolate if they're willing to kill for it! I met Balthazar, my brother seems like he has an Umber Hulk stuck up his arse. Told him he should get out more. Then helped a Cleric of Waukeen and some Noble who sold his daughter's soul to aa Lich. The merchant ended up dying somehow, though, so I gave the girl 5000 gold to help her on her feet.

Then I ended up killing more mercenaries, helping Saemon yet again, and selling a lot of my items to a merchant in town. I wasn't using them anyway.

Chapter Seven: Smugglers and Sendai's Enclave

We had heard of some caves that Smugglers were using so we decided to go see what we could buy there. Upon entering, we saw some monks harrasing the smugglers. Stupid monks, always harrassing people. Of course this was one of those times where I meant to think it but instead said it.

The monks attacked, we made short work of them. I don't take chances with monks, and a few of us knew the Whirlwind Attack techniques so we used them!

As a reward the smugglers gave us a discount.

Then we headed to Sendai's Enclave, where we met a woodsman who said something strange was going on in the forest. Being the cautious type, I scouted ahead and found some graves that looked suspiciously new despite the way the headstones looked. When I asked the woodsman of this, he turned into a Drow, screamed "Hari Kari!", and impaled himself on his own sword! So much for asking nicely...

We cast some protection spells (for safety, he can't be the only Drow in an area where Sendai, a Drow, is) after searching his cabin, and headed to the forest clearing where we were attacked by Elder Umber Hulks and a Hive Mother! One Dragon Breath spell's bad dragon breath, which Imoen had cast, took care of them.

Then we entered Sendai's Enclave. We were expecting quite a few fights on the way. Unfortunately, Sendai's minions would scream "For Sendai, HARI KARI!" and would impale themselves on whatever weapon they had! Even a lich did this!

The only two who didn't do this was the captain of the slaves and another Drow captain hanging out with an old friend of ours. The Beholder Spectator decided to help us get by easily by casting a Geas on the Drow Band that would kill them all if their captain died. Of course, I cheated by taking an Invisi potion and backstabbing the Drow, to which he said "My chest!" and died :D

Our friend thanked us. Said we should do lunch sometime.

Finally, after more suicides for Sendai, we met my sister who was crying about how all of her followers were so fanatical that they all up and commited suicide for her! I tried to comfort her, but she got mad and attacks! The battle was long and hard, but I managed to kill her.

Then I got whisked away to the Pocket Plane to have a conversation with my future self. After that I took the third test and passed.

Off-Topic: Two Sendai Quotes I love!

http://www.weblogimages.com/v.p?uid=...sid=gvI57anqx4

http://www.weblogimages.com/v.p?uid=...sid=jSW27uxzX8

Chapter Eight: The Battles With Abazigal and Balthazar

We found out the hard way that Abazigal is a half-dragon when in the middle of battle his son Draconis turned into a dragon. Bollocks! So I quickly snuck away to set traps while the others distracted him. Imoen really did not want the image of Bhaal mating a dragon in her head! Unfortunately, Sola and Jaheira died in the fight. After we slew Draconnis, we ressurected them.

Then after a rest, we entered Abazigal's lair. Some Lesser Earth Elementals attacked so Jaheira decided to show them what a real Earth Elemental could do by transforming into one :D I swear, she enjoys being an Elemental more than being a half-elf these days.

Then we had to traverse various water tunnels to get around. The first one we went into lead to a place where we could get a few water-breathing potions. Then the second lead to some Kua-Toa. A few fireballs took care of them. Is it so wrong to eat Kua-Toa flesh? They were cooked! As a side-note, they taste like tuna.

We encountered a tortured Monk in one cell and he gave us some useful info about the lair. There's a dragon under a Geas in one part and according to the monk, she'd appreciate being freed.

Then the monk died. Aerie felt bad, she couldn't do anything for him.

After that we battled a whole bunch of floating eyeballs. Then a wizard offered us a scroll that would reverse the geas if we got him a Guath Eyestalk. Considering my laziness, it was just much easier to turn the statues near the wizard back to people so they could get it. That Bondari Quickhand sure is cute! I wondered if his hand was as quick as his name implied? :D Of course, Sola got jealous, but I pointedly reminded him that he was the one who wanted an "Open Relationship".

After getting the eyestalk for us, Bondari and friends went off on their own, 100 gold richer. Then we freed the dragon, who told us to make sure Abazigal suffered before dying. She wants it to be akin to the pain that my now infamous battle with Lord Roenall caused!

Then we battled Abazigal. Thank Brandobaris he's much weaker than his son!

After being whisked away again, I got to talk with my brother Yaga-Shura at my pocket plane. I asked him how Hell was, he said it's nice in the winter but far too hot in the summer [img]tongue.gif[/img] He also passingly mentioned Balthazar was one of the Five. We were teleported back to Abazigal's lair.

Then Elminster talked to us. He said Saemon Havarian was they key to getting into the Monastary to battle Balthazar. I knew that guy would finally have a use!

At Amkethran, we talked to Saemon and he agreed that if we didn't let Jaheira use her spears and quarterstaffs in ways that would have him grimacing in pain each time he sits for the next 5 years, he'd get us in. Jaheira was disappointed.

Saemon helped us in the Monastary. It was a little suspicious but he mentioned to the people that he owed me one so didn't drug me :D Good ol' Saemon.

After Aerie, Imoen, and Sola cast Comet on the mages, we easily finished off the rest of the "ambushers". Then we entered the Monastary to talk to my brother.

Well, he said after he wipes the taint of Bhaal from Faerun he'll commit ritualistic suicide. Which means he wanted to kill me. Well, I wasn't about to let that happen, considering Bhaal would be ressurected if we died, so we got in a fight! After introducing my brother to the pointy end of my sword, I got whisked away yet again.

And found out Mellisan was a high priestess of Bhaal and she wanted to be the new Lady of Murder. Oh and also the Lady of Rainbows. I don't know how that's possible.

Chapter Nine: Mellisan Otherwise Known As Amellysan the Black-Hearted Bitch

After passing the last test, I dropped off all of my friends at the Desert city of Amekthran and the Party and I went to the Throne of Bhaal to show A-Smelly-Whiner's posterior the end of my Boot of Speed's Heel. The first with her was easy enough, but she eventually ran off whining she had to get more power! I quickly lay some traps while she was gone and we all headed to the platform to cut off some of her Godly Energy.

After defeating the monsters she left to guard the energy flowing into her, I absorbed from the pool of energy to stop the flow. The second fight, she ranted about how the first thing she'd do was destroy all chubby men! I wasn't going to have none of that so I sprang the traps on her!

Then we attacked and she ran away whining again!

The next platform was much the same, and so was the third. The final fight with Amellysan was the hardest by far! She kept casting protection spells AND summoning monsters to fight off! The last straw was when she told me she was going to enjoy making Sola her bitch!

You'd be surprised at the amount of pieces I cut her into after that :D

Then Solar appears and says the fight is over. Amellysan's head rolls to her and screams, "NOOO! I am a GOD! You cannot defeat me!"

To which Solar drop-kicked Amellysan's head into the abyss! Amellysan screamed she would have her vengeacne, but I doubt it.

Solar gave me a choice. Become a God, or a Mortal. I chose Mortal. What was I going to be, God of Murder? God of Lecherous Halflings? Naw, twould be better to roob the palace of the Queen that ordered a bounty on my head! :D

Chapter Ten: A Fond Farewell

So how does this halfling's story end? Well first let's see how his friends' stories end!

Solaufein: Eventually Jerr and he call it quits. Without Jerr by his side, Solaufein dies to some random over-powered party looking to kill him. However, as luck would have it the Drow is ressurected by Jaheira. They eventually hit it off, and marry.

Jaheira: After she marries Sola, she and he have a twins, a boy and girl. They still travel and adventure, just not as much since they have children. Jaheira is still trying to get Sola to stop brooding, though, and to stop making elf men look so womanly!

Aerie: Aerie ends up hitting it off with Viconia, oddly enough. They both move to Rasheman with Minsc and open a resturaunt. They're main reason for getting together, their hatred for Jaheira. They still plan on disposing of her but 99% likely they won't ever actually go through with it.

Minsc: After opening up the Resteraunt with Vic and Aer, Minsc soon gets bored and starts training the Rashemani Rangers on the proper care and feeding of hamsters.

Imoen: Imoen still continues to adventure with her brother, Jerr.

Nalia: Nalia eventually does get in a fight with Skie! At the Copper Coronet no less! Skie ends up dying when Nalia shoves a turkey leg down her throat. Nalia now teaches mage classes at the Temple of Ilmater in the Slums District of Athkatla.

Valygar: Valygar dyes his armor pink and marries Anomen at a grand ceremony held at The Order of the Radiant Heart.

Keldorn: Keldorn ends up going back home to his wife, for good this time.

Viconia: See Aerie.

Korgan: The dwarf ends up commenting on how he'd like to see Aerie, Viconia, and Mazzy bathing together one day when he and Mazzy were visiting Aerie and Viconia. A and V now have a nice new garden statue at their resturaunt.

Edwin: After being dropped off at Amkethran, Edwin got the wrong person mad and they had Saemon get him drunk and put the following items on the wizard: The Ring of Folly, the Ring of Clumsiness, The Bracers of Binding, and the Girdle of Gender-Bending. Edwina now roams the countryside drooling all over the place.

Cernd: Cernd's son grows into a rebellious teenager and starts and acting troupe dedicated to making Cernd look like a pansy fop in plays who recites bad poetry.

Sarevok: Sarevok ends up getting Cattie-Brie mad one day by pinching her butt. He's now missing an arm.

Jan: Jan eventually got Jaella back and started his own turnip business.

Haer'Dalis: Plays Cernd in Cernd's son's play :D

Mazzy: Helped Viconia distract Korgan while Aerie turned him into a statue. Then she started her own Order of the Radiant Heart for halflings.

Anomen: See Valygar.

As for me, I went on to commit many grand acts of Larceny until the day I ran into a more experienced Bondari Quickhand. We settled at my Keep after that, and annually commit one big larceny a year now!

Ending Stats:

Jerr Quickfoot
Neutral Good Male Halfling
Fighter(21)/Thief(25)

Str: 14 (22 with Belt)
Dex: 21 (I honestly don't know how I went from 20 to 21)
Con: 11
Int: 14
Wis: 14
Cha: 18

Proficiencies:
Short Sword: 2
Sling: 2
Sword and Shield Style: 2
Short Bow: 2
Dagger: 2

Equips: White Dragon Scale Armor, Sword of Mask, Fire Giant Belt, Ring of Gax, Ring of Fire Elemental Control, Cloak of Elvenkind, Shield of Harmony, Gauntlets of Extraordinary Specialization, Amulet of Power, Boots of Speed, Helm of Infravision, and Sling of Arvoreen

Side Notes: I couldn't defeat Amellysan in one-on-one fights like my Swashbuckler could. That disappointed me. I also reloaded the second fight nine times.

And despite being more powerful than my Swashbuckler's party (Same NPCs and Equips, but this partyhad higher levels), my Swashbuckler's Party never had anyone die in a fight with Amellysan.

Final group shot (Try to name everyone):

http://www.weblogimages.com/v.p?uid=...sid=bAH58zjYZ5

You certainly romped through BG2 at a fair pace! Thanks very much for sharing - I thoroughly enjoyed reading it.

Thanks!

*APPLAUSE*

I didn't read this until I beat ToB, so sorry for the late *applause*. Great writing, and great epilogues!

Thanks everyone!