I got sent this by her today. It's not a letter to me, rather a record of thought process. Have a squizz.

-------------------------------
Being single is liberating. A breath of air after many years of being a 'one' with another person. I like living alone. I like having my independence and having the freedom to do what I want when I want. I love that I am not accountable to anyone but myself and that I can have a full and busy social schedule without having to worry about 'the relationship.'

I like getting up in the middle of the night and writing. Or sitting on the sofa at three in the morning just staring into space. I like rolling across the entire width of the bed or sleeping diagonally, or whichever way I like. I am an island. An island happily floating from this day to the next.

My life is happy and full of friends and family. It is filled with work and beaches and nights out and music. It has variety and colour and sparkle and I try and savour one moment and then the next. There are no more plans or forward thinking. Life is too short and who knows what miracles God has in store for tomorrow?

All in all, the sun shines brightly and I dance my own dance.

But my undoing comes with the washing of the doona cover. The doona cover gets stripped from the doona, thrown in the washing machine, dried and then.. put back on the doona.

I just cannot do it. Cannot get the doona back in the cover - like putting toothpaste back into the tube. I can never match up those corners of the doona with the cover. It is a partner thing. Something HE has to do. I simply don't have the patience or the inclination. The doona inevitably ends up in a big ball in the middle, all twisted and, well, just 'wrong' with me red faced and huffing and puffing around it.

************************************


Today I sat before a newly washed doona cover and the doona. Round after round I struggled to get the damn thing in. I grew impatient, mad, fiery. It was NOT going to win. Not this time. I remembered all those times I'd watched from the perimeters and tried to recall what to do - and slowly matched up each corner, slid it down and then.... it was done. I had actually done it! Put the doona in the cover. I didn't know what it meant, but it felt good. Like I was a warrior woman of the new millenium - self sufficient, able, an island unto herself. Finally!

And then I stopped, sat on the end of the bed and thought of everything there was to be thought.
I thought of how much I loved being a strong independent woman - self sufficient and capable. But mainly I thought of how nice it would be to be hugged, right then and there - to have the warm embrace of a partner to congratulate me.

I thought of how much courage it had taken to sail solo but I thought too, of how much courage it took to love - to give yourself openly and honestly to another, to reveal your vulnerabilities and allow your true self to be known - to accept that someone else would want to be with you, and only you.

And I knew then, that the real miracle was allowing yourself to be brave enough, courageous enough to love and to be loved in return.


Vanessa Waters


------------------
I am the walrus!.... er, no hang on.... http://www.animfactory.com/animation...ing_lg_clr.gif

A fair dinkum laughing Hyena!

[This message has been edited by Yorick (edited 09-19-2001).]

She writes very well Yorick. Easy to put yourself in her place and picture things while reading. Seems that she went from one feeling to the opposite. Sounds like she enjoys freedom, but also misses love (you?).

------------------
http://www.angelfire.com/rpg/stealthy/KungFuGal.gif http://exit3.i-55.com/~casual/Ladyzeke/Ladyzekke.gif

http://www.ironworksforum.com/ubb/no...les/crying.gif http://www.ironworksforum.com/ubb/no...les/crying.gif http://www.ironworksforum.com/ubb/no...les/crying.gif

Hugh, mind me telling your story to Gina?

the more I read it, the more profoundly I am touched

Sheesh, Yorick, I can't see to type properly. I was relating to everything she said, and laughing about the doona.... and then she had me in tears.

Must have broken you up. http://www.ironworksforum.com/ubb/no...les/triste.gif

------------------
http://www.ranchoweb.com/images/bg2guy/bitchingcopy.gif

http://www.ranchoweb.com/images/bg2guy/fljotsdale.gif

Hugh is a strong man! have faith in him!

Such bittersweet sentiment. Kind of like when I went through my divorce. That feeling of freedom. But just when you least expect it - lonliness.

Very touching, Yorick. Thanks for sharing.

------------------
http://www.ironworksforum.com/ubb/no...iles/hero2.gif
The day we stop learning is the day we start dying!(c)

*Member of the HADB clan. Mage extraordinair.
Occasional subjugate to Gwhanos the Fluffy :nibbles: *
(when G is behaving) ;)
"Allright! We'll call it a draw."

Great writing - but what in hell is a 'doona'? Well, given the context I imagine its what we here call a quilt?

There is a way round the doona difficulty - don't wash your bedclothes very often and when you do, throw a 'doona cover' party!! http://www.ironworksforum.com/ubb/no...iles/smile.gif



------------------
http://www.asnsoup.com/silvercheetahfinal.jpg

Yorick, sent an email.

------------------
http://members.aol.com/amandaisflirt...s/tradesig.jpg
Captain of Bouncers, Boogre Bar

LH Member

And you never did think that it ever would happen again, in America did you? And you never did think that we'd ever get together again, but we damn sure fooled ya. We're walkin' real proud and we're talkin' real loud again, in America. And you never did think that it ever would happen again.... (Charlie Daniels)

Great tale, oh bard of the board. Definitely recalled my divorce of 2 yrs ago, what great writing.

------------------
Unstinting Gaurdian of Children
Defender of Those Unable To
http://angelfire.lycos.com/rpg/stealthy/mummy.gif
To Err is Human To Forgive Divine, However Neither is U.S. Marine Corps Policy. Nuke'm til the damn camels glow.