Well I just thought that it would be easier to read if it had punctuation, can't see if you are starting a new sentence or just continuing another.

Sorry I guess I over reacted a bit ill add the stuff if you want though. The only reason I came is to have a relitavly consistant conversation, while ansering newbie questions is good fun talking about the game with veterans is a lot more interesting

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Veterans hmmm... define?

"Ah", says the Bartender. You refer to people that have already beaten teh game, yes? I have done so 4 times, some on this forum have done so more than that
.
As for a talking skull, that would not be much change for me. I was, as I have mentioned, a Monk/Psionic when Mortal (the 1st time) - I became a lich unwittingly in that life. A lich with no flesh save what I made with Polymorph Self

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In the kingdom of the blind, the one-eyed man is pimp

I personally think Lothar is the wierdest and coolest bad charecter there and the way he can just wipe out the namlessone is indicative of is power.
Ive been through around 4 times now and the game has lost intrest for me i have my charecters ready fo ToB though
So then this is a tavern bar type thing anyone want a drink

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Hearing the words "Anyone want a drink?" Kivan immediately wanders over to the bar and orders a flagon of dwarven spirits.

There can be a difference between those who have played through the game several times (ive done it 4 times myself) and those who know alot of stuff about the game, stats and such.

Raze is a kick-ass fighter. I love it when opponents explode into little pieces when I hack at them. Brutal!

Ah yes we all love dwarven spirits it kind of like injecting yourself with pure adrenalin and taking speed oh the thrills never end. Im wondering what Elminsters like drunk just goes around melting peoples minds I suppose still Ill kick his ass in the expansion. Oh yeah i think ill get whatever the scary necronacer guy is having . Blood of nymphs you say? i think ill just stick with plain ale i guess.

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The paladin seems to absorbed in what he is doing to respond to the famous ranger. The sword, however, chips in with a chirpy tone.
"Best not disturb him," says the sword. "He's deep in something. He's been reading that book he was sent in the post - some book on Pantaloons written by an uncle of his. Ever since he came across a few paragraps about map references written in the side of an ancient statue in Calimshan, he's been plotting points."
Tancred can be heard coughing and spluttering at this point, spitting out cold coffee back into the mug.

After downing the flagon of dwarven spirits in one swallow Kivan is pretty drunk, this causes him to do dangerous things, like juggling with swords, he draws his Vorpal Blade, picks up a +2 longsword, and a +2 shortsword, and starts juggling them, he is surprisingly good at it.

Since im a sorcerer ill join you but only with skull traps. Roughly five seconds later Damn everyone get down Jabidas dimension doors to safety and then mutters into his drink sorry if you want i can try it with fireballs next! But perhaps not. I need another drink anyway. lets mix some stuff together with spell componds for laugh.

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This is only a guess, mind, but I bet that if you try to become Bhaal's replacement, Elminster will try and stop you. Yes, Lothar was a strange one. Another way to get killed is to cheese off the Lady of Pain TWICE. The Modron Cube on Hard was a good source of Cranium Rat charms (excellent stuff, since there are only a few situations requiring INT - The Skeleton's Riddle, Dak'kon's higher level spells and talking to yourselves)
.
I know all the secrets/cheats/sub-quests of BG2. I have the stats but don't bother to memorise them.

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Kivan messes up his juggling act when he dosen't catch his Vorpal Blade which goes straight into the floor, luckily it is easy to pull out because it is so sharp.

Kivan drinks another flagon of dwarven spirits and starts singing rude songs, he knows quite a few, and will sing any songs that anyone suggests, as long as they are rude songs or drinking songs.

If Elminster was here, I'd make him eat that stupid pointy hat of his right before I disembowl him and wear his spleen for a hat!
but don't tell him I said so

I need drink.

Elminster says I can kick your butt any day. You miserable excuse of an Adventure. I was out adventuring before your grandfather was even born.

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Hey Raze. Elminster is in the Bar. He is sitting with Angel and Kors laughing about the good times they have adventuring together.

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[This message has been edited by BladeMaster (edited 05-19-2001).]

What id love to do is go adventuring in the plnes with my curent party and see sigil from another perspective, I also think sigil is probably the most interesting city in the whole ad&d setting and if they were going to make a bg3 it wouldbe the perfect place because there are loads of high level guys out there as opposed were we have wiped out most of the lich population of toril at this point due to random encouters like there can only be so many mages powerful enough to become liches.
Anyways can you imagine the start waking up on a strangly familiar slab and Lord Ao apperaring and saying well sorry i had to put you out here because(insert your own cliche plot device here) and your going to need some things to open the portal to get back home such as(insert ludicrous items like dragon orbs). Oh to cheer you up theres this mad lich called what was its name again oh yeah Vecna hes guarding your portal ever hear of him powerful mage, no sense of humour whatsoever? wait no that probably will make you depressed anyway i gotta go heathens to smite and all that. Player charecter:Wait please no aghhh come back

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I'd like to see that relic casting spells with a sword down his throat.
My grandfather could whup his scrawny wrinkled behind even with his arthritis and incontinence playing up as they are!

What Elminsers hear everyone be quiet while i sneak up on him and kick him in the ass. Oh crap I think hes looking at me

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Ah... well... erm
Ill be hiding over in that corner!

Did I say hiding?
Ha! from that fossil!
Its just i think i dropped some gold pieces over there... and i really should go and look for them.

While you guys have been talking about Elminster. He was listening to every word you guys said about him. All of a sudden you guys feel something slimey in your trousers. All of a sudden you see green ooze running down your legs and you guys scream in terror and run through the doors to get outside.

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Wait a second lets go get that Lothar guy to go friend Larloch the Shadowking to kick his ass. Oh yeah no way in hell am i going to be around when Larloch and his sixty or so liches turn up

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What are you Talking about that slime is always there! WAIT A SECOND perhaps i shouldnt have said that. Stop staring at me like that dammit! its embaressing anyway ill kick the bushy eyebrowed ones ass PIPE OR NO PIPE

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Those std's can be a real problem.
Ive never been one for genital hygiene.

Do you guys know the Elminster has beaten Shadowmasters which are more powerful that what you guys are susjesting.

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"Hey rookies elminster can hear when people talk smack about him if you mention his name.....do it like this.....a CERTAIN old man sitting in a corner with a winged elf is a WUUUUUUUUUUUUUSSY"

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Caleb wasnt vague enough in his taunts and is now being telikenetically tossed about the room.

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[This message has been edited by caleb (edited 05-19-2001).]

Anyway you should all know elminster isnt real hes just A MASTURBATORY AID FOR ED GREENWOOD he dosnt like girls just stats thats all he does all day long make up new abilities fo elminster (they were awful novels 2)

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LOL

If we all band together I think we could take him.

I'll nab his colostemy bag while you get the zimmer frame!

So long as i get his stupid hat with head attached so i can nail it to the wall and hang a sign on it that says THOU SHALT NOT BE A MUNCHKIN

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Being tired of hearing everyone talking Kivan decides that by removing the topic of their conversation he can end it, he sneaks up on Elminster who is telekinetically tossing Caleb across the room, and swings his Vorpal Blade at him, he makes a critical hit and Elminster fails his Saving throw vs. Death and loses his head which rolls across the floor.

Elminster is talking? Gee, this looks like the start of another fabulous Ed Greenwood novel. Will Caleb become a force to be reckoned with? Will Link manage to prevent Greenwood getting sued by Nintendo? Will Killer finally discover the location of the missing half of his brain? And will Melusine become the next 'Greenwood Girl'? If that .sig's anything to go by, the smart money is on the Melusine Trilogy being produced in a month or so...

Tancred

Yes, it's the lowest form of wit, but I don't think this merits irony.

[This message has been edited by Tancred (edited 05-19-2001).]

ICC

You guys are asking for a fight you will lose. When Elminster, Angel, Kors and Mystra get to getter nothing can stop them.


OCC

His books are really good that is my oppinion. Everyone is entiled to their own oppinion. So just leave it at that.

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I Elminster was a wuss but to fall to the likes of Kivan?
I shave using a vorpal sword.

Where did i drop those gold pieces again?

OOC- Seriously, a critical isn't that hard, and neither is making a sure failure on you saving throw.

caleb lands on the floor for just a second then elminsters head regenerates and hes back to being tossed around.

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Kivan pours oil on his Vorpal Blade and ignites it(Fire=zero regeneration), Kivan repeats his miraculous attack and Elminster his failed saving throw vs death, and his(Elminster's) head rolls across the floor once again.

OCC
I will answer this one for Lord Shield. Seeing as he is not here

ICC

Just is Kivan is about to take a swing at Elminster. The bartender lifts his hand and the sword disappears from Kivan's hand and ends up in the bartenders hand and he puts it behind the counter. He them bellows out "All Weapons will be check in at the door from now on because it seems that everyone who comes here is looking for a fight."

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[This message has been edited by BladeMaster (edited 05-19-2001).]

Kivan grumbles something about his Vorpal Blade coming from the hoard of a Red Dragon and then goes outside looking for some gibberlings to slaughter and nail to the ceiling of the bar.