Jerome,

That is beautiful and sad, the depth of feeling very touching. The repitition of the phrase "you wander, all alone," seems to have an almost heaving plodding feeling and you use it throughout the poem. Very effective use of the same line to evoke a feeling of repeating without purpose or direction. . . . . wandering. Well done, Baby Bro!

Big Sis

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Order of the Holy Flame
Member of Clan HADB

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For Heather

May the sun always shine on your shoulders
May the stars always shine in your eyes
May you fly forever wild and free
Across the empty skies

May you come to rest on the golden strands
May you find the place where your sorrows ease
May you find the golden lands
Beyond the sunlit seas

I know that you have slipped away from me
I know that you are not completely gone.
Tucked away inside my heart
A part of you lives on.

Since this one was deleted:


Regret

The morning finds you still asleep,
Lying, still clothed, in a crumpled heap,
Trapped in a nightmare, forever more,
Chained within your slumber deep.

Your mind spins with failing memories,
Borbarded with impulsive notions,
Confined with all of your worst regrets,
And all of your painful emotions.

In your mind,
You see her clearly,
That candescent angel,
That you loved so dearly.
Her sapphire eyes,
Her golden hair,
That seductive smile,
And her skin so fair.

You remember speaking to her,
Though never really talking,
Just below the surface of your words,
Your true emotions crept, stalking.

You remember seeing her dance,
Each careful tap of well practised feet,
In perfect timing to your heart,
With each and every beat.

You remember the last you saw of her alive,
At a party of a mutual friend,
Dancing swiftly, talking loudly,
In a dream you though would never end.

Though deep into the night,
Fatiuged by drink and dance combined,
She ventured alone out into the darkness,
Your offers of assistance she'd declined

Though not long after, you set out to find her
Worried by her lack of protection,
You searched the dark and dirty streets,
In the show of upmost affection.

You nearly fell over the body,
As you clutched your mouth, to halt the bile,
You angel dead, with empty eyes,
With a broken jaw in a grotesque smile ,
Clothes ripped and torn by vile hands
Skin discoloured, from viscious blows,
Neck twised in a inhuman shape,
With lifeless limbs and shattered nose.

What befell your angelic love,
You dare not know or ask
Though never escaping the constant picture,
Of her final, horrific mask.

You attended the funeral of course,
Though are unsure of why you came,
Prehaps it was to still the churning waters,
Of your inner blame.

You should have gone with her,
Your mind's hindsight muses,
"You're the reason she is dead",
Your raging concience accuses

Your hopes were dashed,
Crushed from high above,
Your dreams lie shattered, your heart broken,
A casualty on a battlefield called love.

So deeply has your concience rotted,
That on your bed you've lain,
To live in an eternal torment,
Never to rise again.



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Jerome, Chairperson Of The International Fluffy Hunting Society

wow.... didnt see this one comin...

great poems jerome!!! they are... long!!! yes! true! teehee http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...iles/smile.gif

a tormented past
purposely forgotten
a wretched feeling
purposely forgotten
a wild dream
purposely forgotten
a gift for you
purpose is to be given
and then you
forcefully forget
and it is
purposely forgotten

i dont even know if the grammar is correct.. ill just edit it someday


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Yukishiro Tomoe

Jerome - I am sorry but your poem was a little too close to things I have read a twork, and I just couldn't read it properly. It was very powerful. Unfortunately I have had to read numerous statements from men who have done this to women, and I hope you understand that when I leave work I shut the door on it and leave it behind.

Bahamut - I liked the device where you use repitition and the poem returns to the beginning themes at the end. It really works.

Here's one I wrote for my Bard to sing in the story I am writing. The context is that he sings it during a time when conflict in the party has aroused fear and distrust from others. The image of the ray of sunlight striking a temple is one I actually saw in the hills of Cypress.

After the Storm

The harsh wind is dying
To soft breezes sighing
The wild waves so high
Are now gentle and low
The sun breaks the shrouds
Of the dark angry clouds
And a shaft of bright silver
Lights the temple below

And the people are singing
Bright voices are ringing
Songs of beginnings
A new hope is born
Welcome the dawning
The Lord of the Morning
Has brought a new day
And an end to the storm.

Voices are grating
Words full of hating
In the heat of the moment
When anger is born
Now voices are gentling
Words are relenting
Forgiveness and friendship
Come after the storm

And the people are singing
Bright voices are ringing
Songs of beginnings
A new hope is born
Welcome the dawning
The Lord of the Morning
Has brought a new day
And an end to the storm.


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There is only one kiwidoc, accept no substitutes
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STANDARD OPERATING PROCEEDURE
www.judyhope.co.uk

I understand Kiwidoc, the poem was never ment to be a happy one, or a perticularly nice subject.

I love your work, very deep and moving. Please post more http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...iles/smile.gif


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bump bump bump ba-dump! http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...es/biggrin.gif

A little bump for the poets. We need some more poems Ryan, Jerome!

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Order of the Holy Flame
Member of Clan HADB

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First Love

First sight of beauty
First feel of happiness
First taste of sweetness
First rendering of warmth
First despair
First fall
First defeat

And I will move on
Move on toward the bright
and shining
Path...

For a Second Love

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Yukishiro Tomoe

Glad to see there's still life in this old post http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...miles/wink.gif
nice one mate! http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...iles/smile.gif

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