Kivan shouts "I'm in! I hate those bastards! How about we launch some dwarves at them? Or gnomes? Maybe we can launch some flaming halflings into the air and shoot arrows at them?"

There is a loud TWANG!!! as the huge cauldron of horse shit sails into the air
.
.
.
At the Government Building
.
Tolgerias is in a meeting with other members of the wizards.
There is a loud crash from the glass dome atop the building.
Not being a monster, it doesn't trigger the 'enemy attacks'
contingency spells. The wizards look up in time as many tonnes
of horse shit descends upon their heads
.
Frantic staff members try to extricate their superiors.
Fortunately for the senior staff, the cauldron burst through
the floor and they were not entirely asphyxiated
.
"THIS TIME HE HAS GONE TOO FAR!!!!!"
.
The wizards, as one, head to the BG2 Bar
"LORD SHIELD" come on out and surrender to our justice
.
Lord Shield smiles. "Over to you, brother"
.
The evil looking black robed figure from the first thread
reappears in the bar. "They think they KNOW magic?"
hahahahahahahahaha! With a wave of his hand a little bunny
wunny appears. The mage then puts on a blindfold. The bunny
runs outside
.
The mage raises both hands, points out the front and fires
double-barrelled fireballs of lava intensity. Each fireball
homes in on the illusory bunny which tracks each mage. Their
burnt bodies plop to the groud
.
"Now THAT was fun!" The mage disappears

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In the kingdom of the blind, the one-eyed man is pimp

"Well that was fun" said Kivan, "How about we have a halfling shooting contest? It is like this: You shoot flaming halflings into the air and then shoot arrows and spells at them, the one that hits the most halflings wins!"

The site of a crap covered cowl wizard was to much for caleb. He sits back in his throne of scone laughing"man that was some good shit"

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http://members.aol.com/lasttrueprinc...ages/sign2.gif Welcome to hell.

[This message has been edited by caleb (edited 05-18-2001).]

ok folks. I don't want to pad the bar thread out with lots of catapulting. If you could move it to another thread that would be great, and I can get back to tending bar
.
In fact, I though I'd pop out for a spot of shopping for the bar. Melusine, are you up for that?

Artemis's ears twich he looks up and says "shopping?"

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Bruce The Aussie, Camp Barbarian Hunter OHF
jester of LH and Master Beastmaster of the clan of the Kats

All are welcome. I feel the need to get about the town a bit (until the horse poo smell clears from the bar)

"I'm in" says Kivan "I need some more arrows for my bow, do you know of any place in town where I can buy Fire Arrows?"

Ribald might have some. We'll pop to the Promenade - a day in town would do us all good (unless we end up killing them all of course)

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In the kingdom of the blind, the one-eyed man is pimp

Azure grumbles something about looking after the place while the bartender is gone and waves a hand vaugley at the residents of the reeking building. he eyes caleb especially making sure he will get up to no more wenching this night.

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"I was born of darkness. My fathers eyes closed before mine opened. I am not of this world or the other, and I have the right to be what I am..."

The 2 barmaids will be with me. Jaheira won't start for a little while. In the meantime, Black Assassin and Tiddles and the Nisruu will keep the place running (and, of course, the cook)

Uh...what happened?

Did someone try Time Stop? I was just standing here trying to buy drinks. Next thing I know, everyone's gone shopping. Pity there's still someone watching the bar...

Azure watches the bar closely knowing if there is any trouble he has others to call upon to do the dirty work for him. But a sharp glance and a hand on his dagger makes some customers helping themsleves to a free beer put an end to their trouble making.

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"I was born of darkness. My fathers eyes closed before mine opened. I am not of this world or the other, and I have the right to be what I am..."

I do hope that that wasn't a comment directed at me. You're sullying the good name of theives everywhere, even suggesting I might steal something. And I don't respond well to threats (I run away!)

Take it any way you wanthttp://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...es/biggrin.gif but thieves beware! http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...les/mad111.gif

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"I was born of darkness. My fathers eyes closed before mine opened. I am not of this world or the other, and I have the right to be what I am..."

Kivan follows Lord Shield into town.

i am whith kivan and the outheres let the crange bigin!
.
.
.
.
.
http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...iles/skull.gif
death is the way of life Killer

i mean carnage can i get some cowled wizard to play whit(translatin can i get a cownled wizard to torture in the bar?

Angel tells Caleb he is skating on thin ice with his treatment of the other women in the bar and if he does not treat them with respect Angel will kick his arse straigth into Wildspace again.


OCC
Caleb I don't care if you use the words Biscuit King and The Throne of Scone. Just as long as you don't make any reference to my thread again.

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Well, that shopping trip was a nice, refreshing change
.
.
Lord Shield, Mel, Sil, Gamora, Artemis, Kivan and Killer all set out. The only change at the start was that, once outside the bar, the bartender no longer looked fat and bald. He was 6'1" with dark bron hair, blue eyes and slim build. When questioned about the blue trousers he said they were "Jeans" but who Jean is nobody knows.
.
The first stop was at a clothes market in the Promenade. Lord Shield decided that it wouldn't be fair if the staff got spillages on their clothes, so he needed some uniforms. Maybe something formal for Black Assassin too. Nothing too revealing for the girls, either. They were staff, not showgirls.
.
Mel flitted around the dresses looking despondent. "There's nothing in my size". She landed, almost starting to sob. "Nonsense", said Lord Shield, "which did you like?" Mel pointed at a nice green ensemble with a leafy design, "but it's human sized". Lord Shield smiled and picked up the dress. By the time he passed it to Mel it was small enough for her to wear. "I can put slits in the back for your wings when we get back."
.
Somewhat happier, Mel went to the counter. Artemis was looking for something more practical but this was the wrong market for that. Nevertheless, they did have a nice hat which took her fancy (I'll leave it to Artemis to choose the design)
.
In Ribald's, Kivan hopped straight to Ribald. Fortunately they had some Fire Arrows in stock. Lord Shield had a look through the stock and plucked out a Ring. "I think you might want to purchase this" he said to Artemis, "it's a Ring of Regeneration - judging by past appearances, you could do with it". Artemis looked slightly put out but Lord Shield just winked. "only kidding". He put it back, but Artemis looked at the ring thoughtfully (again,
being somebody else's character I'll let her decide if she got the ring)
Killer had a look through the weapons but nothing took his fancy. All that could be heard from him wsa "crap", "crap", "pitiful", "crap" - sorry, Killer, your +10 sword is hard to beat
.
Next stop was a food run for storage. No real interest for the ladies there, LS bought what was needed and stored it in a Freezer bag of holding, also getting sacks of vegetables while he was at it.
.
There was a brief encounter with a cowled wizard who wanted to question Lord Shield about the horse shit bomb and the Minotaur package, but Killer dealt with him (and put his head on another pike - where does he get those pikes from?)
.
.
Then it was back to the bar, step over the dead wizards. LS popped to the back, asked Sil and Gamora to put the food away, and set to work on modifying Mel's ensemble and the uniforms he got for the waitresses (including the black boots and cape for Black Assassin) - yes, B.A probably already wears this, but the new material is easier to clean. Thank goodness the smell in the bar has gone too.

"Hey LS" Amgel calls to him why did you not tell me you were going shopping. Angel and Kors were busy talking and did not know you guys left.

OCC

I did not know Mel had wings just like Angel. If you want to see a pic of Angel click on my Sig " Taste my Steel "

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Kivan had emptied a bag of gems onto Ribald's counter and had gotten enough Fire Arrows and normal arrows to last him a lifetime, as well as a few other magical arrows of various types that had accidentially been mixed with the Fire Arrows.

Once they got back to the bar, Kivan, not really trusting anyone else to do things correctly, checked the arrows for faults, not finding any he stuffed them all into his Quiver Of Infinity which can hold infinately many arrows and bolts.

A few minutes later he went outside and set up an archery range to train a bit.

If it wasn't for the Quvier, I'd have suggested Tasheron's Bow, not needing any ammo.
.
Thanks for helping out, Azurewolf, have another drink on the house. It wasn't necessary, though. The bottles aren't marked, so thieves might nick a drink they really WOULDN'T want to partake of. I cater for supernatural creatures
too in my selection
.
I'm considering trying to make something like Evermeet Ale. The price the brewery charges is ridiculous. I bet I could do it cheaper than them. I'll let you know how I get on

Link has heard nothing from Azurewolf, although he hopes he will join him in his quest against the Basilisk King. He can sense Azurewolf's interest, but doesn't know how to convince him into coming into his party. What can he do? He might try and communicate with Azurewolf telepathicaly, a trick he learned from a Dark Elf during his journeys in the Underdark, in search for the Dracolich Helaos. Link shuts his eyes and concentrates.
"Azurewolf, can you hear me"
He opens his eyes again and looks at Azurewolf, whether or not he's replying to his call. At the same moment he remembers the two who approached him earlier on. Yes, Artemis and Tessa, he recalls their presence. He has to search their aura to be sure to take them with him. And he has to do the same for...Caleb. Strangely his senses take him to the troublemaker who is not in the bar at the moment. He does not know why but he does know for sure that Caleb is one of the people he wants in his party....
Getting rid of the thoughts about Caleb, Link tries to detect the aura's of Artemis and Tessa. He can spot a red hot glowing aura around Artemis. It indicates that she is willing to fight until death. Link wonders why Artemis is so eager to join his group, and is so destined to kill Jeida. Tessa has a blue/greenish aura surrounding her. He knows what it means. The blue part tells that she is somewhat a silent person, but the green flashing through the blue tells Link that she is extremely dangerous, and can kill people in an instant. Yes, he can be satisfied with these two, but for the other two, Caleb and Azurewolf, he does not know for sure whether or not they will join him...

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In the foul darkness one figure will emerge to save the world from evil and despair.... Light flashes as his sword comes down, and thunder rolls through the sky when he points his sword up to heaven to signal his victory....People whisper his name as he walks by, evil tries to hide as they sense his presence nearby.... His name? Link......

[This message has been edited by Link (edited 05-18-2001).]

While Kivan was practicing his archery, he noticed a gryphon flying near the bar, he fitted an arrow to the string of his bow, took aim, and fired the arrow at the gryphon.

It was a clean shot, the arrow pierced the gryphons heart and it fell a few feet from him, he went over an kicked it to see if it was truly dead, being satisfied that it is dead he drags it inside the bar and asks the cook "Do you have any recipies for gryphon? I've always wondered how gryphon tastes.

[This message has been edited by Neb (edited 05-18-2001).]

Damn! I've just stocked the freezer, I don't think we have room for the Gryphon. The lion part probably isn't too edible, but the eagle part should be. I'll pas it to cook. Anything unused can always go to Tiddles
.
.
After a couple of hours, the cook has prepared a LARGE stir fry with gryphon meat pieces (not enough in one place for steaks)
.
let us know what you think (I'll de-cook parts that Azurewolf wants to eat)

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In the kingdom of the blind, the one-eyed man is pimp

Having decided that a normal fork dosen't really fit when he is using his Vorpal Blade as a knife, Kivan has acquired a trident to use as a fork.

Using his XL type cutlery he begins eating the stir-fry, and after eating a large portion he declares it to be excellent.

Jabidas enters Gets alarge amount of Dwarven spirits
Then gets up does a small jig and goes back to staring out the window at some frolicking clowns


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The bar is empty. The barmaids are taking the opportunity to clean the bar surfaces, most of the patrons are drunk or asleep. Except for one major exception.
A paladin sits at a table in a corner, a steaming mug of coffee next to him. His sword, glowing golden in the dim light, is unsheathed and on the table. Neither of them have even noticed the exodus into Waukeen's Promenade. Before them both is a small, brown book of clippings and handwriting...
Amazing, thinks Tancred. He barely knew his uncle, Indijona Foesmite, as the man was always wandering the world on some quest or another. He had been the family black sheep, forsaking the traditional family profession of Paladin to seek his fortune.
The book before Tancred tells of his greatest exploits - his lifelong quest to uncover the mysteries behind ancient artifacts referred to as 'Pantaloons'.
'The Golden Pantaloons did surely see the very beginning of time...' reads Tancred. As he reads, a pattern forms in his mind - thoughts of power misused, of a trio of atrifacts divided when they should be united, musings upon why this book should come to him, now.
'... trousers that were of metal, though soft about the shanks...'
What had happened to Uncle Indijona? This book was his life's work. He would not abandon it unless he had no choice - if there was no hope of his salvation. Someone must have tried to take it from him, someone who also wanted the Pantaloons - and was prepared to take an easy route to get them.
'...until the Pantocrator himself returns...'
Tancred's eyes narrowed. They would not find this way so easy.

Tancred

[This message has been edited by Tancred (edited 05-18-2001).]

Jabidas runs over and gives the paladin a big hug says Relax do you want an easter egg and waves great big pantaloons at him
on a lighter note i wonder could we pump enough drugs into edwin and minsc to do the W Y M C A on the bar any any chance? any chance at all? ah go on

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wait a second i just spotted a familiar one winged alien gatta run best of luck someone handme my ultimate wen i gotta go do an omnislash

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A guy wielding lilarcor comes in

"Lets kill the bartender" says lilarcor
"ok!"says gnome wielding lilarcor

Caleb sees a maniac holding a huge talking sword running for the bartender so he throws a +20 ancient bar biscuit at his head and knocks him out. "Hey depressed paladin guy...yea you ill help you if I can get some loot out of it"

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http://members.aol.com/lasttrueprinc...ages/sign2.gif Welcome to hell.

Lilacar and the gnome decides that caleb is a maniac and decides to attack him.

The assassin returns in his shadow form and enters the bar. He sees what appears to be a gnome weilding lilacor and burst out in laughter. How could the little fella lift the thing up in the first place. Still, he sits bat and watches the violence unfold.

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ShadowMaster of the Theives of Darkness. I'm also an ice cream man!

Calebs starts falling apart.

First his arms, then his legs, and then carries his torso to the trash.

Then the gnome takes calebs legs and glues it to Lilarcor so I can walk!

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Coffee anyone?

Angel comes down for a snack and sees what happened to Caleb and starts laughing so much that everyone comes in to see what is so funny. And then they all start laughing at Caleb.

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the assassin grabs the leg of caleb and uses it as a bat to king hit the gnomes head of, which falls straight into the bin.
"There ya go caleb, you just kicked that little smuck's head off"

As soon as the gnome dies, some freaky cleric comes and raises him.

Then the gnome told walking lilarcor to attack the assassin