Part of being a true friend is learning to share the good with the bad. If you lock your friends out for one or the other, you will eventually have no friends.

Mentor? Good question. I can't really say another person, as I've been let down way to many times by friends and family. So i've started to rely on myself. Lavithander I know exactly what you're saying, although I don't feel the same way about it.

Part of being a true friend is learning to share the good with the bad. If you lock your friends out for one or the other, you will eventually have no friends.</font>[/QUOTE]<font color="cyan">That is true too an extent, but trust me, I ain't ever gonna run out of friends. What I am saying, is I don't burden them with my problems. They just see the good happy side of me, and not the sad, depressed side of me. How can that harm a friendship?

And Mel, I suppose it did come out a little like that, in exactly the same way. When your offering strongly opiniated views, you sometimes totally miss what you yourself are saying!! OOPS!</font>

I don't trust people in general. That is why I can't say I have a mentor. I'm not prepared to open up fully to anyone, to be honest. I agree with Lavindathar on quite a few things with regards to this subject - I only really rely on myself with most things. Only if I really can't manage alone will I involve others.

Professionally I'd have to say my Manager is the only Mentor I've ever had that truly fit's the classical definition. I've worked with him for 5 years now (longer than I've worked anywhere) and he's been an honest and supportive guide through the whole time. Even with me out of town consulting on-site for the last 9 months he's always been there when I needed someone to cover my back in a tight situation (several have come up) and to give me honest feedback... whether or not I wanted it [img]smile.gif[/img] .

Personally I'm a bit of a loaner, so I don't really rely on others for "life lessons", I just as soon learn them myself. My father has been a great mentor to the extent that I've let him, and my family is a strong and supportive one... even though I'm often gone for months at a time. (in my family most members see eachother daily or weekly at worst)

yorick, with all respect, how can you learn from someone or something you've never even met ?</font>[/QUOTE]OMG. Johnny, with all due respect...you have NO idea what you have just unleashed! [img]graemlins/laugh2.gif[/img]

(runs for cover)

"S"

<font color="cyan">That is true too an extent, but trust me, I ain't ever gonna run out of friends. What I am saying, is I don't burden them with my problems. They just see the good happy side of me, and not the sad, depressed side of me. How can that harm a friendship?

And Mel, I suppose it did come out a little like that, in exactly the same way. When your offering strongly opiniated views, you sometimes totally miss what you yourself are saying!! OOPS!</font>[/QUOTE]

Sounds like you are mixing "aquaintences" with "friends" I only have a very few "true" friends, and many many aquaintences. But friendship like every other intimate relationship is a two way give and take. Your friends are there for the good and the bad, and you are there for their good and bad...if one of the friends hides the bad from his friend...then it becomes a lopsided relationship. Our friends are supposed to be our support structure, our MORAL/EMMOTIONAL support structure to help us deal with the hardships of life, and to share in our joys. By hiding your hardships and sadness you deny your friends the opportunity to lift you up and help you carry on, you deny them the chance to feel "NEEDED".

EDIT: Or perhaps my view of friendship has become obsolete.

[ 05-13-2002, 03:51 PM: Message edited by: MagiK ]

<font color="cyan" size="2">Your assuming too much.

Friends, and distant friends, and co-workers, and aquaintences, I class all as the same....friends.

And you mention them being your support structure....I suppose that depends on how strong the character of the person is...I don't really need a support structure.....I can take it all myself, and not let anyone know I am hurting/troubled, and it won't effect my life. I'll put it aside to a more conveniant time, as to when I can then address it.

The only time recently I have needed my friends, was when one of my really good friends died. Then I lost it. His funeral was last friday.He was only 18.</font>

I agree Sazerac. I hope the poor guy is firmly entrenched for this debate [img]graemlins/hehe.gif[/img]

yorick, with all respect, how can you learn from someone or something you've never even met ?</font>[/QUOTE]Firing the first shot here..

The same way we are made to learn lessons in school: through books, teachers, and general experience to make one's own conclusions.
Christians believe that God is ever-present, if one merely takes the choice to seek him.