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I must speak up for the "gentlemen" southerners here. No offense, but the thread has degenerated into "redneckism," LOL!
To be a true southern gentleman, you must: 1) Know when to call a lady a 'ma'am' 2) Know the proper way to fix a Mint Julep 3) Know that all ladies are formally referred to with "Miss" appended to their first name, as a point of etiquette: "Miss Anne," "Miss Linda," "Miss Suzanne". It's the medieval equivalent of "Lady". 4) Know how to hold one's liquor and shoot straight (kudos if you can do it at the same time) 5) Know how to tell someone off in no uncertain terms, while smiling, and leave them thinking you paid them a compliment. For example, "Your audacity, suh, is equalled only by your unparalled lack of insight!" 6) Know how to make a southern belle feel like the Lady she is. 7) Never discuss religion or politics in front of a Lady. And always obtain a lady's permission to smoke in front of them before doing so. 8) Know the true meaning of the term "personal honor." 9) Remember who your people are. Linage means a lot in the South. You may have a horse thief or two on the family magnolia tree, but for goodness sakes dont tell! 10) Never speak uncouthly or with disrespect to a lady (especially your mamma!) 11) Remember that the southern Lady is always right! 12) Remember: The South will rise again! It's just waiting for the North to destroy itself with its decadence. http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...miles/wink.gif And to be a Southern Belle, you must: 1) Never, never wear white shoes before Easter or after Labor day. 2) Never wear velvet after Valentines day. 3) Never appears ruffled or stressed. You may be boiling inside but no one would know it to look at you. 4) No matter how informal the meal, ie... a picnic, a Belle always presents it fancy. Linen napkins and silver trays go just as well with hot dogs as they do with Beef Wellington. 5) Never reveal your age. Your timeless inner beauty speaks for itself. 6) Most Belles are born and live in the South. But, of course they are well traveled, and alas, some Belles must live outside the South. Just remember being Southern is in the blood not in the location. 7) Never chase after a man... connive a man into chasing you! Then act totally surprised when 'caught'. 8) Never eat large amounts in public... only nibble and say that you aren't hungry. (A southern belle will eat before a date, then again afterwards! It's not until the 'date' is of a fiance status that a southern belle orders everything on the menu!) 9) Use phrases like... 'oh my gosh', 'darn', and 'shoot', and "I decla'e to goodness!" 10) Always look your best! Never have a bad hair day or be caught without the perfect thing to wear. 11) Be a bit mysterious. http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...miles/wink.gif 12) Be witty and charming. An example scenario of "Southern Belle in action:" Ok, here's the scene... A nice southern belle enters the bank (We'll call this southern belle, Lilly Ann). It's a hot summer day and Lilly Ann looks absolutely fabulous in a ankle length silk skirt and matching blouse of peach. Her white shoes click on the shiny slate floor of the bank and her neat little matching white purse hangs delicately from her wrist. Lilly Ann moves into the shortest line of two to await to make her transaction. She smiles sweetly at the gentleman to her left in the next line. She nods politely to the lady in the line to her right. Patiently Lilly Ann waits her turn... When suddenly a man steps into the line directly in front of her. Thus the dialogue from a proper southern belle... Lilly Ann: Excuse me sir, but I do believe you have broken in line. Man: Oh, I was here only moments ago. I stepped out of line to get a deposit slip. Lilly Ann: True as that may be sir, you will have to return to the back of the line. Man: But mam' as I told you, this was my place in line. Lilly Ann: But sir, as I stated, true as that may be you will absolutely have to return to the end of this line! Man: I have no intention of returning.... Lilly Ann: *interrupting* Oh yes sir, I can absolutely assure you that you WILL return to the end of this line and you will return immediately! Just who do you think you are to so rudely intrude into this line ahead of me and the nice people behind me *several people nod, standing behind Lilly Ann* Do you dare to think that my time is less important than yours, and that you have the right to just break in line and further delay my transaction. MY time is just as important, if not more so, than yours sir! You have some more nerve to possibly think that you can break ahead of me and get away with it! Why the audacity of you revolts me. Obviously your mother never taught you any manners! You sir are the epitomy of a mangy dog running loose on main street that urinates on bushes in plain view! You have no manners, are obviously suffering from some kind of delusional state of selfishness that borders on insanity and you are without a doubt getting on my last nerve! Sir, excuse yourself to the end of this line immediately! *sweet smile* And have a good day sir! Man: *Smiles back, shrugs and goes to the end of the line* You have a great day too 'ma'am'! http://www.wizardrealm.com/images/saz1.gif |
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------------------ http://www.123imagehost.com/images/b...arrissig02.gif "the memories of a man in his old age, are deeds of a man in his prime" |
Sazerac, That is the best discription of a southern belle I've heard!
------------------ http://www.123imagehost.com/images/b...arrissig02.gif "the memories of a man in his old age, are deeds of a man in his prime" |
Sazerac,
An excelent post, IMHO there are far too few gentlemen out there. This is a mentality in dire need of perpetuation and multiplicion. And yes, you Southerners seem to do it better than those of us in the North. |
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Yonder:N or V;ORIGIN unknown 1) Direction, may be used to replace any or all of the following , North, South, East, West or any combination of them. Also denotes distance (emphasis on sylables denotes distance ex; yonder-short distance, yonDER-medium distance, YONder-long distance) Fixin:ORIGIN deep south 1) The next activity or action that will be taken. ------------------ http://www.123imagehost.com/images/b...arrissig02.gif "the memories of a man in his old age, are deeds of a man in his prime" |
onthepequod,
Man you ain't kiddin' there! I have been in Texas for almost two years and STILL forget to say sir and ma'am. It embarasses the heck outta me when I realize it was expected by some of the older folk around here! Moni P.S. Great post Saz! I read yours and Sir_Tailny's to Rex this morning when he got home and we both enjoyed them thoroughly! ------------------ http://members.aol.com/lasttrueprincess/images/ltp4.gif [This message has been edited by Moni (edited 05-09-2001).] |
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Well as the good man Bill Hicks Said... Quote:
http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...ievalsmile.gif Keldorn's Younger brother [This message has been edited by Row Firecam (edited 05-09-2001).] |
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It's like seeing his grandpa's ghost.... kinda creepy sometimes... There were old-timers in the audience crying... ------------------ http://publish.hometown.aol.com/tobb...s/rudedawg.jpg http://www.phpshop.net/images/bg2guy/cov09.jpg The RudeDawg Known in these Forgotten Realms as Perin LightEyes and my girlfriends, Pamila and Phil |
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My daddy always said that a Southerner should be able to be a bit Gentleman (HE was STRICT on manners) and a bit of a Redneck (learned how to tear apart a carbuerator before I could drive. And I was driving at 12) And, his rules about etiquette were different depending on which sides of the family we were visiting (Mexican, or Southern) BOTH very strict, but the language, or course, was different. http://www.tgeweb.com/cgi-bin/ubb/no...miles/hihi.gif ------------------ http://publish.hometown.aol.com/tobb...s/rudedawg.jpg http://www.phpshop.net/images/bg2guy/cov09.jpg The RudeDawg Known in these Forgotten Realms as Perin LightEyes and my girlfriends, Pamila and Phil |
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