Did I mention my computer crashed and this may be the possible end of The Continuing Adventures of Jerr Quickfoot if I can't save the hard drive?

Ouch, that really sucks. I was following the story from the start, too. There's always the choice of making up your own ending, right? ;)

Yes, if I can't continue the game itself.

Chapter Seventeen: Of Anal-Retentive Red Dragons and Over-Glorfied Wizards

Author's Note: Please excuse the lateness of this submission. I have finally gotten Windows XP and can now continue this, though very slowly (Also I will try). Also, since it's been a long time since I've played that saved game, I'm just improvising this chapter.

After our meeting with "Farthy", we left to go rid some hills of monsters for some Anal-Retentive lord whose name I forget. We all discussed how we would spend the ten thousand gold. Aerie wants to buy herself a whole new wardrobe, Minsc wants to buy Boo the DVD collection of Hamtaro, Keldorn wants to buy his wife a new carriage (Phallus Shaped... how odd, must be his mid-life crisis), Jan wants to go into business (Turnips shaped like Drizzt Do'Urden and company), Mazzy wants to give it all away to fund her new idea (A company specially designed for putting Girdles of Gender Bending on horny red mages who have a thing for halflings), and all I want to do is save Imoen.

We met up with the monsters, and killed them. Unfortunately, it turns out they were knights of the Radiant Heart. We killed Ajantis! NO!

We did find out, though, the extent of his Hello Kitty! obsession... The man was wearing pink armor and a Hello Kitty! helm for crying out loud!

As we toured the hills, we encountered a group of werewolves and some Ankhegs. All were easy to kill. We entered some nice cottage and were greeted by a nice elderly gentleman and his daughter.

She immediately wanted to write a story about Minsc for the local "Amn Times" paper. Why not me I ask!? I'm the Child of Bhaal with angst! She should write about me.

She ended up getting kidnapped as I explained to her the reasons why a Child of Bhaal story will get more gold than some piece of fluff about a man and his hamster. I agreed to go save her.

We entered the ruins, killed quite a few hobgoblins, killed a Raksasha with a nice red ring. When we went deeper, we killed some orcs and noticed the perfect ambushing spot.

This resulted in me "volunteering" to lure monsters to the spot. If by volunteer you mean when your supposed friends decide it's time to blackmail you for some comprimising paintings you happened to have painted to fund your sword training! Bunch of worthless gits.

Do you have any idea how hard it is to run from Vampires? Very hard...

After killing the vampires, we encountered some woman who wanted us to help her find a book. We helped her, and she attacks us! Luckily, Minsc can cast detect evil. Even more luck, where she attacks us just happens to be perfect for laying traps.

Ever see a chicken run around after you set it's butt on fire? Don't look at me like that!! You try finding entertaining things to do at Candlekeep!! Anyway, that's how the woman and her group looked. Such a shame we had to kill them, as I relived some of my fondest childhood memories of torturing animals...

Not very neutral good of me, is it?

We kill more monsters, find the girl, then end up meeting Firkraag. That's his name! Turns out he's an anal-retentive dragon who's mad at the fact that Gorion had once visited, held a wizard's party, and left the place a mess. Damn clean-freak dragons.

After his wizard leaves, I make the mistake of "accidentally" spilling some ale on his carpets and the thing attacks us! Now we have breach, though, so he's actually an easy kill.

The wizard was too. Funny how so much hype from a guy and only a fizzled magic missile makes one's day.

Chapter Eighteen: Teddy Bears!

After rescuing the girl, and securing royalty rights for my story, the party stopped by my Keep. Major Domo informed me that our maid, Chanelle, had a problem. She had to choose between two men to marry!

At this point, seeing another Roenall in my house just got my blood boiling! So I did what any Roenall-Hating Halfling would do. I gave Chanelle over to the drunken ranger and paid him 500 gold to go throw the Roenall into the latrine.

I paid him an extra 500 as a dowry.

After selling all of the loot we found, Keldorn bid us a fond farewell. We went to the graveyard to pick up Viconia. There we met Wellyn, a ghost. After agreeing to get his teddy bear back, we headed to the Copper Coronet.

Upon meeting the thief who killed Wellyn, I was about to demand that Lyniss give back the bear. However, Lyniss must have indulged in too much black lotus.

He screamed we'd never take him alive, and proceeded to impale himself on Minsc's sword! Poor Boo, covered in blood.

Luckily, with that class in taxidermy I took, I was able to stuff and mount the dwarf over a fireplace and no trouble for his death. We gave Wellyn his bear, then met some Morticia Adams wannabe named Bodhi.

We declined her offer.

Chapter Nineteen: Helping Valygar Pt. 1

After declining Bodhi's offer, we went to the Government District to talk with Tolgerias, a wizard. He offered us a job but wouldn't budge on Imoen's whearabouts. With nothing else to go on, I decided to take the job.

We were to hunt someone who killed a Cowled Wizard. Did the whole of Amn some bloody good, in my opinion. Damned Cowled Wizards with their friend-abducting and "Wow-Look-At-Me-I-Can-Do-Magic-And-You-Can't!" attitudes! Anyway, we went to this Valygar Corthala's house and met his servant, who was glad his master wasn't around. Something about always leaving Gnoll Dung tracks all over the house. We asked if we could look around, and we agreed. We also learned that the Cowled Wizards had had a meeting with him.

We found a bill upstairs, for a pink cabin in the hills. Pink? Odd...

When we got to the hills, we could tell it used to be pink but the rain had run off most of the paint. We met Valygar inside and he explained about how the wizards had tricked us and such. Damn wizards. I agreed to his proposal to go to the Planar Sphere and Jan bid us a fond farewell. He also mentioned something about too many rangers wanting to hack him into gnome steak while he was asleep.

At the Sphere, Valygar deterred a con man, and we entered. After entering this sphere, some Golem attacked us. Thank Brandobaris for dispel magic! The Golem was easy to kill once slowed down.

We killed an imp, how I love their squeaks of protest, then somehow ended up activating the sphere. I hope alternate dimensions are as nice as I imagined them. Would find it funny to watch Minsc play Ring Around the Rosy with little elf-like gnomes.

We met some knights, and as the party talked to them I headed to the back room to investigate. Just my luck, fishmen! I killed them myself, as the others were to prissy about entering a room that smelled like rotten tuna and salt.

After that we encountered halflings. Not the cute little chubby ones like me, but skinny ones with bad hair and a penchant for eating flesh!

They demonstrated by trying to chew Valygar's legs off. They were easy to kill.

Mazzy heard voices up ahead so I went to sneaking, and heard a True Sight spell being muttered. We decided we should make camp for the night.

The next morning, Aerie cast haste on all of us and Minsc, Valygar, and I hid in shadows. As we approached, I heard the spell again.

I backstabbed the wizard halfling while Minsc and Valygar attacked the two druids! Then the others waded in and all was over in minutes. Unfortunately, the wizard cast Confuse on Viconia and she started attacking Aerie!

"Run from the crazy elf lady, my witch!" screamed Minsc. Poor Aerie almost died. Viconia seemed sad she hadn't killed the girl.

We killed some spiders, then I heard voices behind a door. The halflings had heard Minsc's warnings, and were forming a plan. One was a witch, the other a cleric. I stealthily opened the door and snuck past them.

Taking down the wizard was fast. The funny part was the look of shock on the others's faces as I drank a potion of invisibility and killed the cleric! The other two died by Minsc's hands.

Searching the room to the east, there were four golems, one an Iron Golem. We ran back a room and defeated the three who could fit through the door. Aerie had a special plan for the Iron Golem.

She cast Lower Resistance five times from scrolls, Greater Malison, then Polymorph Other!

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Just before it died we had to dodge out of the way. The projectile it let out hit the far wall with a splat!

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Valygar figured that a Golem could open the door next to the tanks in the last rooms, so we got to building a Golem. Those fire elementals didn't help much, though. However, fire elementals can't resist a good barbecue! Finally found a use for those pieces of meat I sliced off of that red dragon...

After activating the Golem, he opened the door for us.

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Then we killed an Elder Beholder, apparently Lavok's ex-boyfriend.

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And we battle Lavok. Boy, is that guy ever cranky when he wakes up!

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Lavok and Valygar had a discussion after the fight. He asked Valygar to get him some rose-scented bubble bath.

Chapter Twenty: Helping Valygar Pt. 2 and Damn Bill Collectors!

We couldn't find any rose-scented bubble bath so Lavok suggested we use the Planar Sphere engine to make some. For some reason, it doubles as an inter-dimensional travelling device and a shampoo maker. He said we'd need a demon heart, and could find one outside.

Wanting to get back to my Keep, I agreed to the proposal and we went out and snagged three demon hearts. Those fights weren't the easiest...

After that, we miraculously figured out how to open the door to the engine room and discovered Tolgerias behind a door. Turns out he's over five hundred years old and is also an ex-boyfriend of Lavok. Viconia commented on how Valygar sure seemed to have a lot of gay people as ancestors, to which he snarled. To which everyone but Mazzy, who seems to have a thing for him, snickered.

After fighting and killing Tolgerias, we had to fight our way past Fire and Ice Salamanders, then 10 friggin' golems in the engine room! The golems nearly killed us, except the iron ones which Aerie promptly lower resistanced, greater malisoned, and polymorphed. We barely survived, but it was fun.

After feeding one heart to the machine we felt ourselves teleport back to Toril, and wondered why a shampoo making machine produces so much toxic waste.

Lavok was grateful for the shampoo, and promptly died. Valygar was actually sad.

We went to my keep where I was informed some bill collectors wanted two-thousand gold. I didn't buy it but I paid them one-thousand to go away.

Then caught them stealing so had them promptly arrested and made to perform a show for us we had seen during our inter-dimensional travel.

They really suck at performing the Time Warp, though. The guy seemed at home singing Sweet Transvestite though.

Then I gave Viconia some new equips and booted her since we bore her. At first she headed for the graveyard but then yet another stupid Roenall entered the castle so I offered her a job and a room.

I knew her drow-taught torture skills would come in handy one day!

This is hilarious! I like how you repeatedly change around your characters and mess with their personalities.

If you have the Solaufein mod installed, he would add lots of room for use/abuse if you pick him up.

I will install him soon, just want to finish every quest I can before doing it.

And thanks for the support.

[ 01-19-2005, 11:52 AM: Message edited by: Jerr Conner ]

Chapter Tewnty-One: The Book of Kaza (Subtitled How To Steal Music From Volo Using Necromancy

After watching Viconia torture the Roenall, which even Mazzy and Aerie agreed was funny despite their dislike of the drow, we met a dwarf named Korgan at the Copper Coronet.

He mentioned a book at the graveyard, so we went to get it. Unfortunately, twasn't there. Korgan fumed about his old crew betraying him, made a pass at Mazzy, who promptly shot him down, and told us where we could find the book.

At Pimlico's house, we found out that someone had gutted and tried to make a hammock out of the poor sod's intestines. After looting the place, the dwarf informed us where we could find his old crew.

At the roof of the Copper Coronet, the whole crew made the mistake of hitting on Mazzy and Aerie. Mazzy took out two, Aerie one, then Minsc one, and before Mazzy could finish ripping Shagbag's family jewels away from him, Korgan sliced the guy in half with his axe.

Then Korgan made the mistake of hitting on Mazzy again and she introduced the poor dwarf to her special little friend, which she calls her left knee! Poor dwarf will never have kids now. He desrved it though, for making all of us picture him naked while describing what he wanted to do to Mazzy! Although, when I do battle Irenicus maybe he'll be so grossed out by Korgan's birthday suit that he'll just give me Imoen back.

A naked Korgan always ends the battles.

We sold the book, which I promptly pick-pocketed, then headed back to the Temple of Helm to get a new quest. We were to meet Sir Sarles about some statue. After stealing a few stuff from the temple, we talked to the "Artist", and he said he wanted Illithium.

Bloody hell! Jerlia the Ore Merchant has none!

We went to her source, who hit on Mazzy. What is it with dwarves always hitting on Mazzy?

After much convincing, involving Mazzy, a C clamp, and the poor sod's family jewels, he told us someone had stolen his supply.

When we met the thief, turns out is Neb the Child Killer. Minsc killed him promptly.