And Stormy, I think you are awesome! [img]smile.gif[/img]

Being so supportive right now is the best thing and not many people can do that with an exes children. Especially if it means communication *with* the ex may be necessary. heh

You rock. Truly. [img]smile.gif[/img]

Hey coyote, one thing I was thinking about- you may not want to rush right into doing something alone with your oldest daughter first thing. It might feel kind of awkward and at her age she might be more comfortable meeting what for her is basically a stranger for the first few times if others were there.

Might be easier to sort of 'break the ice' a little with the various things suggested before you do anything one on one. That way there are more people to kind of keep the conversation going and you won't have to feel so nervous. I don't mean get a whole crowd together, LOL, just a few people, maybe even just stormy and the other kids. [img]smile.gif[/img]

Listen to your current sweetie.. she's right.. just talk to your daughter like anyone you'd meet for the first time. [img]smile.gif[/img]

I have told him from the beging, although it may be hard for me sometimes to deal with the ex, it is still his first family, and I have no right to stand in the way of him and his children [img]smile.gif[/img] and in fact, I love them, and have no desire to try and become a mother figure to them, I am just a step mom, they have a mother and a father, I am more of a friend than anything, and the 19 year old knows that I am here if she ever needs to talk, but the one that is coming home right now we have not talked much, I think she is scared of me, or afraid I am trying to become her mom or something. as I have told people before, if she comes stays with us, she will have to obey the normal house rules, but it is not my place to discipline her.

thanks again lady. and yes I am grateful that i have stormy's support. even though she has a hard time with the EX being communicated with sometimes, which is to be expected. I really do appreciate all the advice and help. it is alwasys good to hear a different perspective on a problem that is perplexing to you, and I am thankful for it.

and yes stormy does rock.

What would I like to hear from my father?

Tell me how you feel.
Don't patronise me.
Don't lie to me.
Don't act like you've known me all your life because you haven't, the rlationship has to be built, not forced.
Be a parent, not a friend.