Gandalf was startled, but tried to keep his cool. Every single person (elves etc included) in the party turned to stare at Elminster in shock, including Deathkiller, having barely just recovered from the shock of having a plate of ready-sliced cake landing right before him/her/it.

"I knew it," groaned Luke Skywalker. "I should never have come..."

At length Frodo walked out. "Uhhh, dear sir, please," he said to the rude stranger, "this is meant to be an auspicious occasion. It would be greatly appreciated if you were to desist from any threats of violence against my guests."

"Auspicious my butt!!" cried Elminster. "The no-good bum pilfered my wife's panties, do you know that? Now I must settle this score with him!"

"Elminster, I'm sure it must be a misunderstanding. I would never do that sort of thing, you know me. Okay, Saruman might. But certainly not me."

"AND you, little hobbit, back off before i punt you like a football. I may be old, but i'll kick you butt all the way to the 9th hell. AND GIVE ME MY WIFE'S PANTIES. I know it was you, because you had the pointy hat, he was short, long beard, and was a complete a-hole. And don't underestimate me, look what i did to that hut!" He shows the Hut's head fried to a crisp all bloody.

Gandalf was wondering what to say in reply to this extremely difficult person when a tall, tanned, muscular, well-oiled woman in a stringy bikini and high-top leather boots walked towards them. "He's right, hubby," she said to Elminster while putting a hand on his shoulder. "He didn't pilfer my g-strings. I just misplaced them and forgot where I put them. But I've found them now."

Elminster was momentarily surprised upon seeing her. "Hey, love, what are you doing here?" Nearby, Gandalf and Frodo breathed a sigh of relief, and the congregation of people at the party soon resumed its merrymaking.

"Oh, I just heard that there was this birthday party and that you were going, so I decided to come along. Come, hubby, let's enjoy ourselves!"

Then a crowd of dwarves approached the woman. "Pardon me," asked one of the dwarves, "but are you Chyna, the World Wrestling Federation superstar?"

"I certainly am!" confirmed the woman.

"In that case, can we have your autograph, please?" asked the dwarf excitedly.

"Sure!" replied Chyna, who happily proceeded to oblige them.

Meanwhile, Wolverine was happily talking to Barracus about whopping the butt of Barney the Dinosaur when he noticed the android in black armor. This man bore a cursed Japanese blade! He must not be let out of sight!

Meanwhile, on another world on yet another dimensional plane...

It was night and Shu-Lien was in her study doing some calligraphy when she heard a knock at the door. She went to the door and opened it.

"Oh, Chun-Li! Cammy!" exclaimed Shu-Lien happily. "Haven't seen you all for such a long time! How have you been doing? Come in, come in." And they walked into her study.

"We've been real busy raising the sales for our Street Fighter game series," said Chun-Li. "Our hard work has paid off -- thanks largely to Cammy, of course!"

"Please, Chun-Li," responded Cammy, blushing. "I don't deserve such praise. Everyone knows that the series would never have taken off without you."

"I'm sure both of you have made an invaluable contribution," said Shu-Lien as she poured cups of tea for the two visitors. "How are the guys -- how are Ryu and Ken? Or Guile?"

Chun-Li stopped smiling. "Ryu's been away from home for longer and longer hours nowadays," sighed Chun-Li. "Every night by the time he's back, the dinner's cold. Hope he doesn't overwork himself. I sometimes wonder if he might be flirting with another girl outside. Sure hope that isn't the case."

Shu-Lien held Chun-Li by a hand. "I believe such suspicion is unwarranted," reassured Shu-Lien. "As far as I could tell, Ryu's not that type. He's a man of high moral integrity. Surely he would not soil his own reputation by doing such things."

"I guess you're right," said Chun-Li with a smile. "But I still wish he could come back earlier at night."

Suddenly a dark shadow flew into the chamber like a large bat. Before the three astonished ladies stood a tall, thin, aristocratic-looking man in an immaculate three-piece suit and a large, black cloak.

"W-Who are you?" asked Cammy. Nearby Shu-Lien put on an expression that seemed to say: yeah, I've seen that umpteen times before.

The stranger grinned evilly and two fangs protruded from his mouth. "I am Count Drrrrrracula!!" he answered. "And I have come to drrrrrrain you drrrrrry!!"

Shu-Lien and Chun-Li turned to look at each other, with Chun-Li wearing the same expression as Shu-Lien.

"Don't you get sick of this dumb jerk?" muttered Chun-Li.

"You took the words right out of my mouth," answered Shu-Lien, pointing to Dracula's feet. "Fancy Count Dracula wearing Reebok sneakers."

Dracula was infuriated by the insulting words. "Fools!" he yelled. "How dare you insult the Lord of the Undead! Tonight I shall make all of you join the ranks of my undead minions! Prepare to die!"

Dracula jumped on Cammy and meant to bite her in the neck when Chun-Li delivered a kick to the vampire lord so powerful he tumbled away and overturned a table before crashing right into a nearby wall face first. Meanwhile Shu-Lien angrily grabbed Dracula by the pants and yanked so hard the pants got all ripped off leaving the vampire wearing nothing but his undies below the waist. Cammy grabbed a pillow (traditional Chinese pillows are hard and made of porcelain) and ploughed it right into the vampire's head, but he swiftly turned into a giant bat to avoid the attack. "No, you don't," hissed Chun-Li who splashed the pot of steaming tea right at the bat. The bat now flew towards Chun-Li and meant to bite her when Shu-Lien grabbed the bat in mid-air instead and bit it real hard in the butt causing Dracula to return to his original form howling with pain. Cammy in the meantime reached under her clothes, pulled out her bra and filled the two huge depressions with some garlic she found in the room before securing them inside with a few knots and wrapping the thing around Dracula's neck, standing on his shoulders and pulling with all her might as the vampire lord kicked and screamed, all his powers cancelled out by the garlic. "I can't hold on much longer, fellas!" screamed Cammy. "Do something fast!"

[ 04-08-2002, 09:11 AM: Message edited by: K T Ong ]

Death sheithed his sword, that was when he started recieving some odd vibes... "my Sega-senses are tingling... OH MY GOD! THE CAPCOM ALL STARS ARE IN TROUBLE... snk was better anyway..." death noticed something bizare in the audience was staring at him... he turned slowly and observed a purple dinosoar staring directly at him.... it was the same height and looked like the same weight as HE was... Frodo and Bilbo started wobbling around from their drunkeness... the skies became darker as the sun set, and the stars became covered with clouds... finally a large dark cloud moved in front of the moon...

Death spoke... the crowd dissapeared... it was only him and barney standing in the same plane of existence...

"You're the one who takes the mortal soulds of children and manipulates them to your own will..."

The dinosoar didn't reply...

"you are more than that aren't you.. I can see through your costume with my enhanced vision (it's great for seein' through chyna's bikini too)... don't think you can get away with that disguise!"

The dinosoar chuckled... purple cloth vibrated as he opened his mouth in a thoothy grin...

"You're not just barney... you're also... the Pied Piper!"

A pie suddnely struck death in the face and everyone at the party returned to normal, Woody the woodpecker laughed with his bizare laugh and then went to hang with the rest of the reject cartoons... death stared... still... the pie drippled from his armor...

"You bet Im the Pied piper!"
Suddnely a pie struck barney in the face and woody let out that unmistakable laugh again...

************************************************

"So..." wolverine said takling to the large black man covered in jewlery...
"What do ya do for a living?"
"I sit aroun' mah house and look at pictas of myself!"
"is that all?"
"I once was offered a job for 1800 collect but I turned it down... So what do you do for a living?"
"I save the world... umm yeah every now and then... well with my freinds' help i mean.."
"ohj so you already have enough freinds?"
"well no not like that I mean, they are... JUST freinds.... ya know..."
"uh... huh"

********************************************

The elven rock band started playing some dance music and strobe lights lit the grassy dance floor which came from out of nowhere...

Suddenly a portal opened up and a blackmage accompanied by a fighter dressed in all red walked out of it... they seemed quite... pixilated...

"ZOINKS BlackMage! How did we get into this realistic world?"

"I swear Fighter, I was trying to BLOW your brains out and nothing more! The portal to this world was just an accidental after effect..."

The mage gripped his two-block fist and shook it around while talking to himself.. "one of these days.."

Bilbo walked up to them... "greetings, have you brought preasents for the birthday party!"

"Presents? What are those?"

Death rememebered the present inscident, he was still feeling sorry about it...

"here bilbo" The large android said without warning, turning away from the gaze of the purple dinosoar who put his hands on his hips...

"this is a Red Ring... it belonged to Red Ring Rico once, it's elegedy filled with a magical power which no man can comprehend...

"really?" the hobbit said... "gimme!" he grabbed the ring and turned it around in his hand..

"it will conform to fit any hand... heh it looks like a bracelet on you..."

Bilbo lifted the ring to his index finger, it tightened on and he felt a bizare ora come over him...

"are you all right?"

"the power...MUAHAAH the power..."

"umm actually all it does is raise your defensess agains the dark arts... it doesn't giv eyou any strenghte..."

"oh... well if i took your defense ring then what will you use?"

"I can manage..." the robot then pulled out a large sheild plate which he magnetically clamped to his arm... "God's Sheild Genbu... ah yeah..." it started erupting with lightening...

Barney jumped back...
"he has a cursed sword and cursed armor AND a cursed sheild" he thought to himself.."this could really go places..."

(^ ^
------------------
http://psotakus.frisbee-dog.com/uploads/cat.jpg

Elsewhere...

"I tell you, Scully," pleaded Mulder, "it's not some silly story I brewed up after reading too many fantasy novels! There is this special ring which can lead us to all the answers! The ring is the culprit behind all those cases involving people being stuffed into blenders and what not!"

"Sure, Mulder," said Scully sarcastically. "If it's not UFOs it's witches riding on vacuum cleaners or boo-boos crawling out of toilet bowls. But never mind, just let me listen to your crackpot theory anyway."

"The One Ring, Scully!" exclaimed Mulder. "There's this set of rings that allow you to do all sorts of magic stuff like winning the sweepstakes or knowing all the answers to the questions in 'Who wants to be a Millionaire'. But there's also this One Ring that rules'em all! Only one who wielded this ring could have been behind all those cases!"

"And you suspect these people have something to do with it?" asked Scully, indicating the files she was flipping through, one of which showed a truly revolting face with slitty eyes, pimples all over, a splayed nose with huge nostrils and a missing front tooth. Scully's face twisted into an expression of sheer disgust as she looked at the named: Frodo Baggins.

"Hmmm. Where do you reckon we should search for these people, Mulder?"

Back to Frodo's birthday party...

As Bilbo was admiring the ring Deathkiller gave him, Frodo walked up to him. "Hey, where'd you get that ring from?" asked Frodo.

"Oh, that guy who helped you cut up your birthday cake gave it to me," replied Bilbo.

"Really? Gee, that ring of yours looks pretty much like my ring," said Frodo, who showed a ring on his hand.

"Hey, it does!" exclaimed Bilbo. "Where did you get your ring from?"

"Shhhh..." said Frodo. "I can't tell you here -- there are too many people around. I want to keep it a secret. Another time, okay? Right now I actually wanna entertain my guests a little." Then he walked to a spot and announced to everyone:

"Lay-dees and gentlemen, it gives me great pleasure to have your company here for this auspicious occasion. I hope you have enjoyed yourselves and will continue to enjoy yourselves for the evening. Right now, I should like to have the pleasure of demonstrating to all of you a feat of magic -- before your very eyes, your host Frodo Baggins shall now vanish without a trace! Behold!"

Then Frodo slipped the ring upon his finger, the elven rock band nearby doing a drum roll -- and faded into nothingness!

"Wowsa!" exclaimed Jar Jar. "Thissa goodsa!"

"Wow!" gasped Luke Skywalker. "I think even Master Yoda might have found that difficult to do!"

Gandalf gasped in shock; he recognised the nature of the magic. It could only be... the ONE RING... :eek:

Well? Any follow-ups?

Huh, pweeeeeease...? [img]graemlins/awcrap.gif[/img]

*death stoped talking to a few guests just in time to notice Frodo's dissapearance*

"What in the hell kind of ring was that?"

Wolverine extended his claws after a few minutes of silence...

"something smells funny..."

Death then remembered the words he had been told "you must go to save the world..."

"CAPCOM SENSES THINGLING!" death said as a small portal opened up... a red-haired figure wearing a black suit with his collar extending around his face, with a belt buckled between his knees looked from left to right...

The crowd turned to him as he looked to and fro...

"Konutsulla?"

"OH OH OH! Im profficient in ork!" A figure said running up holding a gun in his hand. he pocketed the pistol after having the crowd split up and he walked right up to the tall fellow.

"GRUURRR UUURRR GRAARUUUR..." he said a raspy voice...

The red haired figure looked at him wide eyed and finally said "Yosukan Dekimasu Nihon?"

Death raised a hand like an anxiose child, certain of knowing the answer to a difficult question, in a 1st grade classroom.

"OOH OOH OOH!" he said already standing out amongst the rest of the guests...

"Dosta?" The red haired figure said...

"IORI-KUN! Yo un dokoetsu nama shetaga dow kaitenmio!" Death said hastily...

"hai..."

The crowd looked from one figure to the other in an abrupt silence... "meesa no understand what theysa saying!"
The gun-holding figure scratched his head and turned toward the crowd.... "well i can confirm it isn't ork... therefore... it must be... ALIEN!!!" He pulled out a badge and flashed it to the crowd of onlookers... "Agent Mulder, FBI... i'm here to investigate the so-called RING of destiy? know any of you of it's existance?"

Ghandalf stepped forward along with Bilbo... and suprisingly Luke skywalker... "umm if you don't mind interupting, i've got this here Calamari universal translator, you can speak anything from Americanees to Squid in it and it comes out in a language we all understand...

"well thensa puts it awd da guyee!" Jar Jar shouted in the back...

"well alright" luke said, clamping the device aroudn the red Haired figure's kneck standing on his tip-toes...

"What's this a welcoming bracelet?" The guy said...

"Iori... it's a device so they can understand Japanese..." Death answered

"oh... you mean I'm talking in english?"

"yeah apparnetly..." Someone in the crowd abruply answered

"If it's as good as bablefish then im afraid that my purpose may be for naught..." Iori replied, nobody seemed to laugh.

"so what brings a red-haired SNK fighter like you to my party?" Bilbo finally said, parting the crowd, even making Gandalf step back so that he could talk to him.

"i've come for... THE RING..."

"which ring?" death said, stepping forward... "i've got a black ring, blue ring, red ring, yellow ring, purple ring, orange ring, white ring..."

"Spare us from naming you're Über Inventory" Mulder interupted... Do you have the ring to controll them all?"

"Mulder you know a thing like that can't possibly exist..." a brunet said walking out of the crowd...

"But Skully! it has to be REAL! This guy's got a whole mess of rings!"

"um the closest thing i've got is the ring that God wore..." Death answered after doing a bit of pocket searching.

"no NO that's just not good enough! we must have the CONTROLL ring!" Mulder replied...

"I belive that our own mister Frodo might be able to answer for your question, young man..." Ghandalf said taking a step forward and grabbing the spotlight...

"So, um... mister Death... does this ring you gave ME let me become invisible too?" Bilbo asked...

"actually it gives you conjuritis... uh don't try casting any spells for a few days if you put it on, it might turn your skin purple..."

"... loveley..."

Iori finally shouted "ENOUGH of this Nonsense! Tell me where the ring is!!"

"why do you need it?"

"...Why do i need the gauntlet of power, the master ball, the Foot Pads of Security, the Marmalade earrings!?!?!" he said expecting an instant response...

"to uh... destroy the world?"

"EXACTLY!!!"

"But why would you want to destroy middle earth? YOU SISTER TAKING ALIEN SCUMM!!" mulder said to the tall figure...

Iori brushed his hands through his hair.... "i don't care about middle earth... i need to destroy HAYATE! that putz, he ripped off all of my special moves but whne you do his roundabout combo you end up doing a dragon punch where as my round about combo is a long distance fireball that travels across the ground and THEY THINK that JUST BECAUSE he's got a melee combo and that IVE got a projectil that im some kind of a PANSY who can't take the possibilty of getting thrown!!!"

"but you have Scoliosis, it could kill you if you get thrown..." Wolverine said...

"AND HOW WOULD YOU KNOW THAT?!"

"I rode on the air ship once with all those weird Japanese Capcom characters and some of my fellow superheroes... when we got off the ship we got onto a train labled "SNK" and you were on it complaining about your constant back pain... and look, you must slunch 2 feet down..."

"HEY excuse me mister hunched over, but it's an anti-proportional spinal growth, and you seem to have a bit of a hump yourself!"

"...yeah well my spine's made out of Ademantium steel!"

"ouch..." a few peopel said... Wolverine turned and snarled at them making them hide behind fellow onlookers...

"So we've obviously got a common goal here..." Ghandalf and bilbo said at once...

"Yes it would seem we do..." Skully said...

"TO DISCOVER LIFE OUTSIDE OF OUR OWN PLANET?!" mulder asked anxiosly...

"TO BECOME MORE THAN ÜBER?!" Death asked...

"NO!" everyone else said at once!

"TO FIND FRODO!" Someone else finally answered...

"well then LETS GO FIND HIM!" A few people shouted...

"so how did you two FBI agents get to this world anyway?" Iori asked Mulder and Skulley...

"we took the interdimensional squad car..."

"What do you mean interdimensional? it just can drive anywhere..." Skully admitted...

"will you ever stop questioning and just belive?, we drove to Area 51 in it, we drove to Middle earth in it, and we once even drove to antarctica in it! unfortunetly we had to then get a snow-mobile because the windsheild wipers and space heater wouldn't cut it..."

"i see..."