|
Whohoo! :nonexistent applause smiley: great story! A word of warning to all of you: do not make the plot too rigid, plan too much of the story beforehand... I had to scrap last year's work because of that http://www.ironworksforum.com/ubb/no...iles/frown.gif
C'mon, guys, join OUAP! With our 39 members it's kind of lonely... http://www.ironworksforum.com/ubb/no...iles/frown.gif |
Quote:
------------------ The last arrow of Legolas kindled in the air as it flew, and plunged burning into the heart of a great wolf-chieftain. All the others fled. -J.R.R. Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings http://www.ironworksforum.com/ubb/no...miles/hero.gif http://www.angelfire.com/realm/spijl/wc3ranger.gif |
Quote:
I like it.... only a few members so far, so its a friendly sort of board. That I've noticed in the 2 or so days that i have been a member. Also, I think i said this before, but the idea of telling (or telling part of) a definative history for your world is a good idea, one which I should think about more http://www.ironworksforum.com/ubb/no...miles/wink.gif ------------------ ........And in the darkness bind them...... |
Here is some more of my story, which reads straight on from the previous part.
Unsure as to his actions, Nivor scanned the nearby battlefield with scared, blue eyes. The slave caught a glimpse of one of his Master’s apprentices fighting, sword in hand, battling with a vicious looking man who must have been near seven feet tall. The apprentice had been one of very few people who had ever been reasonably fair to Nivor. Slowly the ideas of fleeing became quenched by pangs of guilt for not helping the people, his people, where he belonged. So with a newly found ferocity, Nivor ran to the aid of the apprentice. Arriving at the scene the slave saw that his Master’s apprentice was easily outmatched, already he was gashed with various wounds all over his body, his tunic a few tattered strands of fabric. With a fire in his eyes that was not his, Nivor charged up to the huge foe, his strong hands clenched into fists like bundles of stones. With one enormous blow the slave-turned fighter smacked the outlander hard in the face, unseen and unguarded by his iron helm. This strike was totally unexpected, the huge man did not even see Nivor, so with a dull thud the foe fell to the floor, out cold. The apprentice smiled faintly and collapsed to the ground also, for his wounds were many. “I thank you sir!”, he spoke with mock respect to the ‘noble slave’. “At your service”, replied Nivor, with sincerity for perhaps the first time in his life. “There is something you must do”, stated his friend rather softly, for the battle had moved elsewhere for the moment. “Myself…”, he paused, drawing breath. “I am finished… Take that fallen man’s weapon and defend the town. I am sure you will win freedom for your - ”, the man drew his breath slowly. Painfully he pulled in more air, a few short gasps. “Take his weapon!”, demanded the critically injured young man with a fair degree of effort. Without a word Nivor proceeded to do so, for he had been following orders all his life. As he clasped the long double-edged blade, the fallen apprentice let go a grunt and thrust his short sword into the unconscious man’s chest. With his last energy almost gone, the apprentice fell forward, on top of the large man, whispering “Go!” as he departed the realm of the living. Stunned beyond disbelief, Nivor stood still, sword still tightly in hand, eyes wide. Slowly, but with ever-increasing speed, the unfamiliar ferocity flared up again. Sweating, strong muscles beneath rippled his filthy tunic as he ran off to find the remainder of the battle. The fight was still raging down near the town square, where the rest of the town guards had regrouped and bravely fought against overwhelming odds. Nivor ran down towards the melee, not even noticing that most of the cottages and buildings of the town had already burnt to the ground. This time his arrival was seen by most of the men in the battle. Had this been any other situation the slave would have been quite a spectacle. Nivor did not recognize any of the people, as he rarely saw anyone other than Master Lohrac. Nevertheless he would later recall quite clearly that there were a few remaining guards, a couple of valiant villagers still in night robes and a man who looked rather like a rich merchant, all fighting for their lives. ------------------ ........And in the darkness bind them...... |
Looking good, Godfrey!
Nathan lived on a farm just outside Lanthal. His parents, Aial and Gwenne, had to work hard on the fields but thanks to their vegetable garden they were more independent than most. The Gann fields surrounding Lanthal provided the means to make bread, and one could get a reasonably high price for them on the market. Aial and Gwenne had two kho's who provided milk to the small family and pulled the plow. When Sieth appeared, he could see the three were hard at work in the vegetable garden. A twig snapped under his foot, and three brown heads turned in his direction. Aial and Gwenne both raised a muddy arm, while Nathan jumped up and ran over to his friend. 'Sieth! I thought you could never slip out, what with the other lord around!' Sieth wondered every time where Nathan got his eternal enthusiasm from, but he too was glad to see his friend. 'Mom finally found out last time,' he confessed. 'But she sent my father and Lord Aric to Largewood so I could get out.' Nathan didn't bother to close his mouth before speaking again. 'You got a great mother' 'She is, isn't she' Sieth was proud of her. 'Hey, let's go to the forest!' And with that, Nathan ran off. 'Nathan!' his mother shouted, 'we need you back here by midday!' Nathan turned to shout an acknowledgement, which gave Sieth just enough time to catch up. Nathan and Sieth were walking under the blue canopy of the forest now, each dragging a few thick branches along. They were headed for the glade where they built their hut and Sieth taught Nathan how to fight with a sword. The branches were thrown upon the already present ones, and Sieth walked to the back of the hut and retrieved to relatively straight sticks. Nathan winced at the idea of one of those sticks hitting his knuckles, but he was exited about learning more as well. Sieth handed him a stick and they took up a fighting stance. When the sun had passed it's highest point, Sieth put two sticks back in place, and threw the remains of a third in the bushes. Nathan was sucking his knuckles as the two returned to the farm. Aial was waiting for them with a piece of paper in his hand. 'We need to get some khomeat' he said. 'Will the two of you get some at the market?' Nathan was only too happy to oblige and took the money from his father's hand. Kore, Filr and Thran considered themselves some of the toughest guys in all of Lanthal. Smaller boys and girls hid when they saw the three coming. Even grownups were cautious when they were around. Now they were strolling about at the market. A charlatan approached them nonetheless. 'Oinment, sir?' he asked. 'What do we need that for, then?' Filr was annoyed because the man spoke to them without his permission. His friends were already laughing about what was to come. 'Ah, but they cure all imperfections, good sir. Mayhaps you would like to rid yourself from that birthmark on your cheek?' 'And what would that cost me, then' The charlatan, sensing a potential client, was quick in his reply. 'A mere seven pebs, sir' 'An' this stuff works, then?' Filr asked, keeping his face completely straight. 'Guaranteed, my lord' 'If it's so cheap an' it works, why didn't you put some on that wart then' Flir exclaimed. Laughing, he and his friends moved on, leaving a stunned salesman behind. The man slowly moved his hand up to his nose and sighed. 'Oh great. Now I have to find another job.' ------------------ The last arrow of Legolas kindled in the air as it flew, and plunged burning into the heart of a great wolf-chieftain. All the others fled. -J.R.R. Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings http://www.ironworksforum.com/ubb/no...miles/hero.gif http://www.angelfire.com/realm/spijl/wc3ranger.gif |
Quote:
It's interesting how you have created your own agricultural animal - the kho. For my story, I didn't concentrate on making the 'normal' type animals original, i thought i would stick with cows and chickens etc, but i also think your kho's are a good idea. Are you or have you made up an original race? That was one of first things i decided to do, but i found it very hard to make them truly original - in fact i couldn't http://www.ironworksforum.com/ubb/no...iles/frown.gif Btw, I assume it's like a cow? Anyway, I liked your second part better than your first, and i like it how your story is building up and 'establishing a base', describing your younger characters.... ------------------ ........And in the darkness bind them...... |
It's a bit of a combination between a cow and a horse. The agricultural version is more like a workhorse, but there are also kho's for riding.
I still need to decide if this is all taking place on another planet or on earth, but in the latter case practically everything as we know it is destroyed. The organisms are replaced by others which the Enemy brought with it, so there's no such thing as grass, cows, grain, oaks, goats or flies. But that'll be a lot more difficult to do and I'm afraid I'll start overdoing it. Time'll tell, though. ------------------ The last arrow of Legolas kindled in the air as it flew, and plunged burning into the heart of a great wolf-chieftain. All the others fled. -J.R.R. Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings http://www.ironworksforum.com/ubb/no...miles/hero.gif http://www.angelfire.com/realm/spijl/wc3ranger.gif |
i want to write a novel its a dream ive had for years. I have a general plot but im asking for advice on what should be avoided and what should be included
------------------ Nor shadow or myst the jester is a myth he is absolute beware the jester http://www.ironworksforum.com/ubb/no...les/DRUIDD.gif |
Quote:
I'm new to writing anything of length too and it is something I have always wanted to do. All I can really say is that you make sure your stuff is original and that once you start you keep perservering.... Maybe Legolas will have some advice, he sounded pretty cluey with his critique of my stuff http://www.ironworksforum.com/ubb/no...iles/smile.gif Umm, be descriptive, make sure you have some idea of what you write. All of this is pretty obvious. But please if you do write something post some of it on here! ------------------ ........And in the darkness bind them...... |
Quote:
The first thing I do (though not everyone agrees on this) is make a general outline for the story. The disadvantage can be that you are limited by what you've made up and things may not fit in as the story develos. On the other hand, you'll have something to hold on to. Once you've gotten this far, you'll want to write the story. You're free to try and start right away (you'll learn a lot from that) but I've found that it pays to have a hostory for your world, as it gives the story more depth and somehow makes it seem more realistic. With the hisory too, you can just make a faint outline first. The you compare the two and look for anything that you'll have to add to your history to make the storyline fit in. Then, you can start writing. You'll need to experiment a lot with the amount of detail you can add, as it slows down the story but makes the world more alive. The main thing to keep in mind is that you don't want a lot of repetitions. Don't use a character's name or he/she the whole time, but create variety by using a title or a short description of the character. With a bit of practice, you'll soon start writing better and longer stories, and you can fill in any gaps by looking at how other writers solved a certain problem. At least, that's how it works in my experience. What works for me may not work for you, but in that case you'll quickly learn what not to do and use that knowledge in future stories. Now let's see that text of yours http://www.ironworksforum.com/ubb/no...iles/smile.gif ------------------ The last arrow of Legolas kindled in the air as it flew, and plunged burning into the heart of a great wolf-chieftain. All the others fled. -J.R.R. Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings http://www.ironworksforum.com/ubb/no...miles/hero.gif http://www.angelfire.com/realm/spijl/wc3ranger.gif Legolas: Supreme Ranger-Protector of the Ironworks Maintainer of the as of the now opened Ranger-Protector of the Ironworks Clan Website Recruiter of Rangers |
| All times are GMT -4. The time now is 06:13 PM. |
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.3
Copyright ©2000 - 2025, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
©2024 Ironworks Gaming & ©2024 The Great Escape Studios TM - All Rights Reserved