Thank you for posting that. I want to find Specialist Schwarz and make him my new best friend! ;)

Gawd that was funny. :D

That was the funniest thing I have ever read...

my stomach is literally hurting [img]tongue.gif[/img]

I was more than half way down the list before I realized Specialist Schwarz was male...

At first I didn't think these were that funny:
2. My proper military title is 'Specialist Schwarz' not 'Princess Anastasia'.
5. Not allowed to get silicone breast implants.
18. May no longer perform my now (in)famous 'Barbie Girl Dance' while on duty.
80. Not allowed to wear a dress to any army functions

until I realized my mistake when I read these:
165. I do not get 'that time of month'.
178. I am not 'A lesbian trapped in a man's body'.

I gotta say my favorite out of the whole list was:
201. Must not valiantly push officers onto hand grenades to save the squad.

ROTFL! So what CAN you do with duct tape? LOL I mean if you can't make your boots black and shiny with it? [img]graemlins/laugh2.gif[/img]

http://www.click-smilies.de/sammlung...smiley-009.gif Not allowed to chew gum at formation, unless I brought enough for everybody.

(Next day) Not allowed to chew gum at formation even if I *did* bring enough for everybody.

The following words and phrases may not be used in a cadence- Budding sexuality, necrophilia, I hate everyone in this formation and wish they were dead, sexual lubrication, black earth mother, all Marines are latent homosexuals, Tantric yoga, Gotterdammerung, Korean hooker, Eskimo Nell, we've all got jackboots now, slut puppy, or any references to squid.

It is better to beg forgiveness than to ask permission, no longer applies to Specialist Schwarz.

http://www.click-smilies.de/sammlung...smiley-044.gif