Djinn, mi amigo, truly you dance to the beat of a different drum [img]graemlins/thumbsup.gif[/img]

Thanks Mouse! [img]smile.gif[/img]

Well i tell you i really hope someone picked up that book and read what i wrote! To funny..

That is the highlight of my trip to Europe! :D ..jokin the real highlight was Prague, Budapest, and those coffeshops in Netherlands! :D

<u>The Left Hand of Darkness</u>
by Ursula K. Le Guin

However tempted you may be, for whatever reason whatsoever, do not even interest yourself in looking on the back cover. By then you'll be lost.

This book was horrible, and I wish I had forced myself onto another. I had read <u>The Relic</u> prior to this one; it was OK, but the gore was not something I find favorable.

[ 01-24-2003, 11:40 PM: Message edited by: Nanobyte ]

i think the hobbit is boring now since i read it again... the rest of the series is soo much better...

God are you there its me Margeret....I didn't understand that book at all....Just kidding...About the reading it part....The worst book I have ever read would be anything written by Dickens, Twain, and just about anything written by a religous figure(they all read the same to me).

That's a child's book... I read it myself when I was 10 or so, and I thought it was quite good at that time. Never re-read it, though... ;)

Anyways, for my own contribution to this topic: Stephen King & Peter Straub's "The Black House" (or actually, I didn't get past the first chapter... The writing style wasn't difficult, wasn't hard to follow or anything of the kind, though it was extremely annoying and boring (unless someone here is able to stomach page after page filled with "guide-ish" "and-let's-go-here-now,-where-we'll-see-blah-blah-and-behind-blah-blah,-there's-more-blah-blah-while-to-the-right-of-blah-blah-there's-even-more-blah-blah. It wasn't a novel, it was a torture-session.

[ 02-23-2003, 06:23 AM: Message edited by: Grojlach ]

I'll second that. I loved Dune. Excellent stuff. But as I read further on into the series, I began to realise that Frank Herbet was slowly disappearing up his own backside. Don't touch Chapter House Dune. All I could do was read on in horror and occasionally cry in a small voice, cry for help. No-one came.

Come to think of it, 'Atreides', 'Harkonnen' and 'Corrino' are actually not that bad when compared to the sequels. At least we get to see characters we already understand (as opposed to the superintelligent cardboard cutouts in the later novels)

I'll second that. I loved Dune. Excellent stuff. But as I read further on into the series, I began to realise that Frank Herbet was slowly disappearing up his own backside. Don't touch Chapter House Dune. All I could do was read on in horror and occasionally cry in a small voice, cry for help. No-one came.

Come to think of it, 'Atreides', 'Harkonnen' and 'Corrino' are actually not that bad when compared to the sequels. At least we get to see characters we already understand (as opposed to the superintelligent cardboard cutouts in the later novels)</font>[/QUOTE]Thanks for the warning, reading Dune right now ... so the series goes from great to "make it stop!" ?

That's a child's book... I read it myself when I was 10 or so, and I thought it was quite good at that time. Never re-read it, though... ;)

</font>[/QUOTE]Really? Its pretty thick to be a childs book, and alot of adults seem to like it alot. But anyway, the entire LotR serries was bad, IMO. It was so..boring.

THE TRAIL

by kafka

ZZZZZ..... "You must read it it's a classic tale of man against the overwhelming power of government and bureaucracy" ZZZZzzzzz...

Listen to my tale good people of Ironworks do not touch this book, one of its most annoying features was that once into it you had to find out who and why regarding his enemy but every page turning was like the drip drip drip of Chinese water torture.

A classic is not always a good read

Gee - I've read all those too [img]smile.gif[/img] - and they strated out relatively innoccuously in the first book.

Whoops - Davros swivels around to look at the bottom shelf of his "secondary" bookshelf and notices that the entire series is still all there - umm, gathering dust :D .

I was stuck for an anwer until I read Barry's post, then the same horrors came flooding back - this IS the worst book of all time - no doubt about it.

Davros swivels and looks at the 2nd bottom shelf of his secondary book case - OMG - it's still there (and gathering more dust than the Gor books ;) ).

I probably should have posted this months ago, but I have a question, Memnoch. Was this entire novel simply focused on this (seemingly unkillable) character fighting demons? Or was there an actual story to it? If so, care to give a quick overview of the 'plot'? I'm sure that will also be very funny. I want to read this book, I love bad writing! Books focused mainly on fighting are interesting if the character is extremely low level, and he has to be careful. Where's the fun or the interest if there is no danger of losing or dying?

I realize this is an old post but such wonderful memories recalling all these horrible books.
Worst book ever?

Well there have been so many bad ones I hardly know where to start. But I will start…

“The Incarnations of Immortality” series by Piers Anthony. Just horrible. I remember reading an interview given by him shortly after hurting myself on his works. He bragged that he did not use a word processor but a manual typewriter (so he could write in power outages) the keyboard of the typewriter was arranged in a logical order so he could type faster. What irked me was his boast that he never wrote a second draft of ANYTHING. He only writes one draft and that is what gets published. My thought was that it is painfully apparent that he never revises his work.

“Chrome” by George Nadar (yes that George Nadar) is technically a science fiction book but is total crap by anyone’s standards. There is no real story other than the massively gorgeous uber hero stud he-man main character falling in lust with an anatomically correct male android. There are numerous hot oil massages to supplement the plot. Or they would supplement the lot if there was one.

Just added to the list is “The Dark Highlander” by Karen Marie Moning. The book jacket describes a pretty typical set up, an immortal Scotsman haunted by the ghosts of his past, ultimate evil, druidic magic, you know everyday stuff. However the first 29 pages is nothing but a detailed description of the main characters sexual prowess, I’m not kidding page after page of the worst soft core porn imaginable.

“The Magic of Recluse” by L. E. Modesitt Jr. The main character spends page after page complaining about how boring things are. Readers of this forgettable book will surely agree.

Into the Darkness by Harry Turtledove. What if you take world war II and transpose it into a fantasy world? Where fighter places are replaced by dragons and submarines by leviathans and tanks by behemoths, and then drug out the storyline for six or seven thousand pages. The result is a good cure for insomnia.

“The Stand” by Stephen King. I read the unabridged version and almost finished it. I read the first 900 pages and was literally thirty-seven pages from the end when I realized I didn’t care. I didn’t care what happened, I didn’t care about ANY of the characters I didn’t care that I was less than fifteen minutes from being done with this gosh awful work of fiction. I put the book down and have never reopened the thing. A second Steven King book “The Girl Who Loved Tom Gordon” gets an honorary mention. One third of the way into the book and so far the main character has been lost for ages in thee woods. I was praying for something large and horrible to eat her and eat her now.

Other honorable mentions go to:
The Balder’s Gate series (just say no)
“I Will Fear No Evil” by Robert Heinlein (a sex change novel with way to much sex)
“Number of the Beast” by Robert Heinlein (and they called the Satanic Verses evil)”
Neveryona” by Samuel Delany ( I did admires the hero’s ability to fight evil while wearing nothing but a chain mail thong…I’m not kidding)

However the grand prize goes to:
“Wizard’s First Rule” by Terry Goodkind. Pleases please please do everyone on the planet a favor and avoid this piece of sludge. In one single book the author manages to capture EVER possible fantasy cliché in existence. There is a low born but honest main character who is destined for greatness. An elderly and immensely powerful wizard who guides our young hero. A beautiful maiden in distress in a white dress. A best friend/weapons expert who will do anything for the hero. The hero, upon learning of his destiny, spends hundreds of pages complaining abtou his great destiny and how ‘there’s no place like home.” A dragon. Hundreds of pointless quests. Of course there is a magical sword A evil villain who’s hobbies include torturing and murdering children, plotting world conquest and macramé. Of course our reluctant hero is the only person in the entire world who can stop the dastardly villain.

The three main characters spend a great deal of time biting their fingernails over the fact that each has a horrible secret and the dare not share their horrible secret with anyone else lest that person not like them anymore. “’But what would Richard think of me if only he knew my dark secret?’ Kahlan pondered.”
The book goes from bad to outright horrible when Richard (our whiney hero) is captured and tortured by a latex wearing dominatrix. It’s pretty apparent that the author is living out his own sexual fantasies here. (shudder)

At least most of you can rejoice that there was only one "Worst Book of all time".

For me, there are 10.

L. Ron Hubbard's Mission Earth series.

Oh the humanity. Oh the pain. :shame:

To Pcgiant:

Only the last book(think there were six) had him super-powerful, and sure he made short work of most of the demons there, but his job was to confront a being that was to unite the Demons, Devils and Daemons. Even as powerful as he was he was still severly pressed in his final battle.

The Series is about a lowly thief's rise to power as the forces of Good, Evil, and Neutrality fight to gain control of the 3 artifacts that will release the Greatest of all Evil, Tharizdun(he was destined to unite all the realms of evil and take over all exsistance). He was imprisoned long ago and the keys were split into 3 powerful artifacts called theoparts.

The Devils (Lawful Evil), are trying their best to unite the parts, because it will finally bring order to the evil realms. They assume Tharizdun to be lawful like them because he is suppose to bring order to all evil.

The Demonlords (Chaotic Evil), want the pieces to use against each other. Each faction wants all three. Gratz, Demogorgon, Orcus and Iuz all fight each other for the pieces so they can finally gain total dominion of the Abyss.

The Daemons(Neutral Evil) play all sides. They provide troops and power to the highest bidder. Anthraxus, their leader, hopes to gain Tharizdun's favor whatever the outcome. He also desires the pieces for his own use.

He starts off as a normal street urchin and gains allies. He was very much like Lieber's Grey Mouser. The description you were given was after he was outfitted to take on Tharizdun. After being outfitted he wasnt even really human anymore. He was a planar power himself. The demons themselves couldnt even see what he was. All they could see where the powerful enchantments placed on him.

Overall I liked the series. It was before Forgotten Realms took over AD&D. The whole series take place in Greyhawk, the original AD&D world.

yeah yeah... whatever

Worst book ever read?

There are a few, but I'll say "The Owl Service." It's a very odd and strange book, and I didn't like it one bit [img]tongue.gif[/img]

Thanks for the info, Sneeki Two!

I've always wondering why gods can bestow powers upon mortals so they can defeat a great evil, rather than just doing it themselves. I mean, wouldn't they just point their fingers at their foes and they'd die?

normally gods have a nonintervention agreement, so they can empower champions to go do things, but if they stick their finger into the mix directly then the god directly opposing them can do the same, and chaos results, look at the dragonlance series. of course this doesn't always stop the evil ones from trying, and avatars are a whole other kettle of fish.

but even when looked at in the context of our world and religious mythology, gods have always found it more enjoyable to trick, compel, blackmail, or otherwise convince mortals to do their dirty work

In reference to the Gord the Rogue series ("Dance of Demons" last book in the series)

Tharizdun could only be destroyed by one person, the Champion of Balance, and even that wasnt guaranteed. So the gods and greater powers bestowed their gifts to the champion (which was Gord).

The forces of Good refused to work with the Neutrals, because to them you served good or evil, not both. Gord even met with a Solar (most powerful of the devas and only 24 in exsistence) once, and was basically told to piss off. He said the causes of Neutrals where a waste of time. He fought for the complete destruction of evil not balance.

The forces of Neutrality were fighting to keep Evil and Good equally balanced, while the Goods were willing to let Evil fight itself into oblivion. Tharizdun had been caged once before but could not be destroyed. Gord was the only chance to finally destroy him.

It also showed you how the alignment system in AD&D really worked. Before reading the series it was fairly vague, but afterward it made total sense.

yeah, i understand, but are you saying it is acceptable to write Gord dude wooping demons after demons? lol, u know, demon is not just a lvl 25 monster with a neat sword. that is total bs.

I am so embarrassed….I forgot that multi-volume epic to bad taste and poor writing even existed. I wonder if I should rent the video….

IronDragon mentioned Wizard's First Rule and Magic of Recluse. I enjoyed these 2, WFS had some new twists on the old stereotypes (the fair maiden couldn't be touched) and MoR was a little whiney, but the stories were good. the problem I have with Modesitt is that every character thinks they are struggling in what they do, and end up the greatest of all time in what they do, and they are all oh-so-humble. Incarnations of Immortality are not the only Piers Anthony books that suck, most of them do. All of his stories are over-simplistic and not WELL written. They are semi-fun stories, I read all the IoI series because I have a need to finish what I start, just like with Mission: Earth and the Belgarath books by Eddings, painful as all these have been. I thought Salvatore's early Drizzt books were equally simplistic, but I think I have (thankfully) witnessed the evolution of a decent author to a firly good one, his later Drizzt books are just *better* written. I can't pick A book as the worst, but there are some doozies out there.

To Ken:
The demon lords themselves could take out 100's of their own kind in one strike using the artifacts they carried. Gords power was even greater than theirs. Though there were a few times he got into some trouble.

Also the demons had great power but when fighting each other, they didnt really use their innate magical abilities due to the magic resistances all demons have. Now when they fought regular mortals they could blast away with magic.

The magic used was with great artifacts of power. ALL of the Demonlords had artifacts that were unresistable (no saving throws). Gratz's item was the "Eye of Deception". That one artifact was so powerful, it was the main reason he was the toughest demon in the Abyss. He actually altered space and time with that thing once, and that was just one of its many abilities.

Let me be clear. This is not like playing Ad&D (btw it was 1rst editon back then). At this point Gord was not a Player Character. Like if your character where to make demi-god status he would immediately become an NPC (as per 2nd edition rules I believe).

A spoiler for you since you think its BS anyways
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
"Vengeance!" Gratz shrieked, and from the Eye of Deception burst a force that contained all of the pent-up rage of the Abyss.
Gord was taken unawares, and the blast of enery struck him from behind. It sundered the aura of azure and slammed into the young man's body in an instant. Gord fell as if struck by a titanic maul.
"Now all is mine!" Grazt shouted in triumph, plying the forces from the artifact he held upon the cowering yeth before him.
Tharizdun arose as if the ravening energy refreshed him. "No stupid demon," the archfiend countered. Now you and all are mine!" With a flick of his fingers Tharizdun turned the Eye of Deception back, and Grazt was felled by his own device.
Then the final slaughter of demonkind began.
*end*

As you can see, to fight Tharizdun he needed the power he was given. You also see that Gord was also hurt by Grazzt(he was not invunarable like you were led to believe). You just have to view the scope of the book. You are trying to put an average character in an Abyss wide war.

Since this is a roleplaying board, my choice would have to be the novelization of BG2. I have no idea what i was thinking when I rented this but suffice to say the book was utter crapola. Even though i had finished the game I still could not follow the plot of the book. To make matters worse Minsc is only given the briefest mention (as an idiot), Yoshimo is underused, so is Jaheira. Oh yeah, the protagonist is also a brain-dead barbarian who you will not want to root for. Ah dammit every page of the book was pure mental torture. I felt sorry for the trees that died for this literary abomination. For those repressed teenage fanboys, there is a brief lesbian scene between Imoen and Phaere, but trust me that doesn't warrant that you should buy this. I can only wonder what the Throne of Baal novel is like.

The main problem is that nothing in the book is based upon the game, except the names of the people and places. I didn't recognise it.

oh well, i dont think either you or your author understand the definition of a Demon, one of those is, alone, worthy of being the final villian by himself. they are not goblins placed out there for simple slaughter. they dont show up in hundreds only to be instantly destroyed, reduced to ashes by two mere mortals.

what is a demon, is that not the counter part of some being Holy? they either fell from Grace to become what they are now, or were created as a perverted mirror image of something good? their power mimic that of their goodly counterpart, and should not be easily dismissed by anything wielded by a mortal, or immotal. and yet we see, this Gord guy swept them away like an autumn wind sweeping fallen leaves. hardly any sweat, until he met the last and strongest demon.

no sir, the strongest demon, does not scream 'vegence' like a loser. He sat in His Dark Throne made of countless spirits' suffering and torment, pulled together by His sinister will. His pawns worked unsean and in all forms through out the space and time where men kind were known to exist, His Minister Death, His Domain all that was lightless. His dream was fire, and His gaze lingered on the blueprints designed to one end, the annihilating of the Creation.

His minions as foretold were called (and should be called) the Spawns of Hellmouth, the Burning Legion, as called among themselves the Administrators of the Condamned, as known in the past Harbingers of the Storm. He Himself was known (and should be) to people of various worlds as the Prince of Fire, Nightingale of Doom, Lord of the Seven (Demon Dukes), to maybe people of our/Gord's world the First Who Walked the Earth, and finally to beings of Holy the Damned King of the Hated Legion.

His thoughts alone could shake the foundation stones that supported the worlds. He was enraptured, as do all his kind, on misery and torror and became stronger still with each added soul condamned to his name. His Lust for Destruction and Hatred of Life manifest a great stormy fury from the deepest pit of the Abyss, threatening to swept away world after world. His armors are the many powers of the world, each dedicated knowingly or unknowingly to his cause. Some were simply cowered before his majesty. Others were enslaved by his will. One way or another, they served to grow his power till the end of days. These powers, layer after layer, protected him and advanced his cause, to directly assult Himself there will be hell to pay. The worlds will suffer the consequences.

So, even IF Gord was imbued with the powers of Gods, through out the world, the evil that had been dwelling for ageless would simply win without the powers of Good Gods counterbalacing them. Many ancient civilizations would perish in this struggle, billions of lives gone and their souls would serve some other hedious evil in death, many worlds would be utterly destroyed or enslaved by one evil or another.

To sum it up, a fight with a so-feared Gord was as important as a grip of grain is among a field of wheat, easily dismissed by Him like blowing out a candle in the storm.

plus Demonslaying is the same ubering as Godslaying. I am not talking about AN AVERAGE Gord, I am talking about whatever friggin level. let me repeat, demons are not just a lvl 25 monster with a nifty +127 sword for you to kill. you dont just kick hundreds of demons around like they are your bitch.

[ 04-10-2003, 04:13 AM: Message edited by: Ken Rauhl ]

Kenny, Kenny, Kenny...

Remember this is AD&D(and not 2nd or 3rd edition but first) we speak of. I personally had a few characters that would give most demons a run for their money(just about all of the lower level demons in 1rst edition were between 4 and 8 hit dice...very killable).

Also the demons weren't really godlike. They were a just a powerful race of beings that happen to live in the Abyss. They appear otherworldly to regular mortals, but in the Abyss they are common place, as are their abilities and powers. The powers that are in Monster Manual 2(showing my age now) have little effect on other demons and are rarely used. They depend on their weapons and items when handling their own kind.

This whole last book is about the largest war ever fought in the Abyss. Gord was basically wheeling and dealing with the other sides to get the Theoparts. He didn't just hack is way to victory. He couldnt. The demons were too many. He basically played them against each other,and used their own chaotic natures and fears against them.

He even made several alliances to help various factions (which is why the forces of good wouldn't help out). The passage about him laying low countless demons was when he first entered on the uppermost layer. The demons he killed were the lower level ones (cannon fodder).

You keep going on about how powerful demons are, but its actually relative(hell, Im godlike when compared to an ant). I stated that Gord was no longer a mortal being. He had basically achieved at least demi-god status (it was actually possible in 2nd edition and there where steps to follow to achieve it).

BTW here is another spoiler for you. It should calm your nerves a bit.
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
He doesn't defeat Tharizdun, he proves to be way too powerful. Gord is slain.

Doh, also forgot. Tharizdun does take over all existence. The story is written by Gary Gygax, co founder of D&D and Ad&d (after he left his company TSR). In this series he basically kills off his own created world, Greyhawk (Forgotten Realms soon became the realm of choice, and most Greyhawk content forgotten). The ending was lame, but the series was actually pretty good. Back when he was just plain "Gord the Rogue" was good also (which is what he was thru all of the books except the last one). He got into some really neat situations.

[ 04-10-2003, 11:43 PM: Message edited by: Sneeki Two ]

u still dont understand, that is the VERY reason why this book is loads of crap. demon is NOT a monster made of dice and its sides. demon's formidable power is in its cunning and its powerful bizzare vicious allies in the trunk.

do you get it now? having a character to woop most demons is just bs. and a DM allowing that to happen is an idiot. capice? point taken?

demons are not there for you to kill like goblins, and the book and your character exactly contradicts that point. neither the author nor you UNDERSTAND the concept of demon.

and pray tell, how exactly did it happen? why exactly do all these demons put aside their common hatred for mankind and an intruder to abyss, and decided to fight each other while the greatest threat desende upon them? lol, kinky, erh. lame book

This is going nowhere Ken. The book is an AD&D novel with AD&D characters in an AD&D world. You are using some other defintions. Im sorry, but demons are not gods (not even close, in AD&D) and can be slain or summoned by powerful enough characters.

I understand exactly what you are meaning, but in AD&d demons are what I have shown you.

In Tolkiens world, the Balrog is closest to a demon. We know that one wiped out a dwarven nation, but also died at the hands of a single powerful wizard.

The fact is demons are what you want them to be (no one I know has ever seen one). The books Im referring to are all stories made up by writers(pure fiction).

In a biblical sense demons are simply fallen angels.

If you want your demons to be all powerful, unstoppable fiends then dont bother reading the book "Dance of Demons". This book was a high level adventure (there are very few of these written). For what it was I enjoyed it. Some hated it...as I have hated other books suggested here on the boards.

I wish you happy reading.
My current most recommended series: The Song of Fire and Ice by George R. Martin

Another Song of Ice Fire fan!! http://www.ironworksforum.com/ubb/no...ons/icon14.gif

While I agree with you that D&D demons are not very powerfull, I have seen in multiple sourcebooks the 9 demons lord of Hell, and some of the Abyss, being refereed as quasi power (quasi god). So I think that a mortal being able to beat them is a little too much.

What I don't like about that series is that the main character get some extremely powerfull powers/items from gods, and I think it's an overkill. The term used to describe such campaign is "Maunty Haul" and it's never a good thing. I would love that series a lot more if the main character had never received such powerfull powers/items.

Those items remove all challenge. I can accept the Demon Lords getting defeated in an epic battle lasting 25 days and night, but I sure can't accept them getting defeated in one less than an hour.

So, my opinion is that story had potential. But no challenge and suspense is boring, in my opinion.

Since you are a fan of George R.R. Martin, you should know what I am talking about. The characters in a Song of Ice and Fire are all balanced, and you never know if they are going to die or survive. That's a good thing.

and i am sorry, if demon are not so powerful as to threaten the worlds of living, then why does Gord dude bother to go to abyss and clean them? huh? it is taking life without a need, isnt it? if the Gods deem them a threat, then they are indeed powerful, so powerful as to need Gods GIVING Gord their power in order to kill em

u still did not answer the author's overlooking of, without the forces of good to hold the evil at bay, how is it possible that Gord eliminate the (so-called) strongest demon without the world suffering consequence?

plus, the thing is, this author does NOT understand the definition of demon. ANY friggin self respectable DM would know to write slaughtering demons like chickens are out of question. they, who understand and appreciate their existence and the way they affect the story, would NEVER write anything like this book. replace the demons with hobgoblins, the "strongest demon" with an ogre, you get the same story, different ingrediants. makes sense?

Hmmm, worst RPG novel? "Might & Magic: The Sea of Mist" by Mel Odom. Now, I never played beyond Heroes II or M&M VI but this book seems to have nothing to do with Might & Magic whatsoever except that there are monsters and mages. Story starts out very intriguing: the hero is raised by a demon in a pocket universe and sent to a training school. From there it goes downhill into Dawson's Creek complications with his friends and then fighting a Bad Guy. No questions are answered, characters are unlikable, and nothing makes much sense.
I tried reading a Kathyrn Kurtz book of Deryni, once, but it was very boring and obviously a space-filler between other books. Star Wars: The New Rebellion was pretty bad.
I can appreciate "bad" books if they are entertaining: Gary Gygax's Cyborg Commando series, Louis L'Amour, Hyborea knock-offs, etc. Like eating potato chips. But when a good series goes bad, I torture myself by continuing to read in hopes that the writing will be as good as it once was. Examples: Earth's Children, Gotrek & Felix. The first books are excellent, the rest are poison.

Ooooooh yes, give me all the cheesy, fantasy-by-numbers crap out there. If it's mildly *cough*erotic*cough* so much the better. Come to think of it (nudge, nudge, wink, wink ;) ) I seem to remember some really dire fantasy from way back in the dim mists of time. I think it was all about some barbarian called Gor........ [img]graemlins/crazyeyes.gif[/img] </font>[/QUOTE]DON'T TELL ME YOU READ THAT WHEN YOU WERE A KID TOO!!!! :D :D

Actually, wait a minute...I read those when *I* was a kid, and that was only 15 years ago, so how old were you...? [img]tongue.gif[/img] </font>[/QUOTE]Actually, some of the Gor books finally achieved readability. Priest-Kings of Gor is thew only one I actually own, but that is quite far into the series, and by then he was looking for far-out ideas. The storyline is rather whacked, but the writing style is good, and that makes it readable.

Oh, but Dancer of Gor is so bad it made me want to vomit.

Gygax is absolutely awful. the man lacks the slightest ability to write, imho. Give him any important event, soul-stirring moment of history to describe, and he will destroy it by having the main characters exclaiming,

"What did you just say mate?"
"I I said that we are about to bebeset by some demons, Gord!"
"Oh, i didn't hear you because i was picking this dung off my foot."
"Yes, Gord, but don't you think we should be worried about this demon lord here?"

I think it's how he tries to attain some kind of lifelike banter, but all he does is suck every last ounce of atmosphere from the encounter. Sea of Death was totally ruined by this type of dross.

As to the one I actually think is the worst fantasy book ever? I agree with Johnny, but seeing as people want a more socially acceptable answer than the bible, I'll plump for ......

are you ready ... ?

it is Warblade (Konrad vol 3)

And my reasoning? It is an absolutely fantastic book. Based on the warhammer fantasy setting, the Konrad trilogy is absolutely fantastically written. it has a great storyline, and the quality of the writing is superb. You ruch through book 1 - Great! Book 2 - brilliant! Book 3 (Warblade) - Exceptional! But wait!

What's the problem?

Warblade consists of 300 pages of thrilling adventure, and then ... just before the grand finale, just befroe we are about to find out the very core premise of the books, just as the intricate workings of the plot are about to weave together into a perfectly crafted work of art ... it ends! It ends, right there! Right before the climax. The whole trilogy takes you up to the crashing finale and ... stops! Right there, it just ends! With one of the most banal, uninformative sentences ever written in the history of literature.

ARGH!

I think it was the first time i actually cried tears of frustration over *anything*, let alone a book. I felt robbed!

So, there you go. My nomination - Warblade, by David Ferring.

Oh, and please notice - Warblade, a fantasy book filled with death, blood spurting everywhere, demon monsters and large, terrifying battles is classified by amazon as a "children's book" because it is fantasy. Like I said in a thread in GD - mainstream thinks 'fantasy' = 'fairy tale' = 'children's bedtime story'. Hacks me off, that does.

[ 04-12-2003, 07:52 PM: Message edited by: Bardan the Slayer ]

Its nice to see that other people also hate this book with the passion I reserve for it! But like yourself Davros, I just couldn't bring myself to get rid of a book - no matter how bad I thought it was. For some reason I just keep getting this nagging feeling at the back of my mind that I might one day want to read it again... :s

Tancred - I expect I will read Heretics and Chapter House anyway, I've actually heard that they pick up a bit compared to God Emporer, and I want to finish the series in some way. Whilst I think God Emporer failed to interest me in the characters in the slightest way I still want to find out what happened next!

Also I'd like to agree with Bardan about the Konrad trilogy - in their classification that is. Its weird to see books with such ridiculous amounts of sex and violence classified as childrens stories. I read them when I was really young though, so I can't really comment on the ending - I can't remember it! I'll have to have another look at them soon.

Warblade? Yeeesh, the entire Konrad trilogy cheesed me off because it never went anywhere. In fact, a lot of the GW books lacked direction back then. Space Marine's a shining example. It's a mercy to have Jack Yeovil books...

I quite liked Space Marine...

Mind you, I remember it being deep and meaningful - but only a quite non-specific way. I read it when I was so young I really didn't know what about it exactly was deep and meaningful, but I knew deep writing when I read it! I'll have to read it again some time, refresh my memory.

Space Marine is fantastic, as are Inquisitor and Harlequin (to a lesser degree), but then Chaos Child does a Warblade and ends meaninglessly, with no answers to the questions it spent 2 books forming, having spent about 150 pages totally forgetting the main storyline and following a 'lost love' focus which was up until then, totally irrelevant.

Still, the intricate 40K universe is one of my all-time favourite settings. it is true genius, top to bottom.

[ 04-14-2003, 10:24 PM: Message edited by: Bardan the Slayer ]