I know it sounds totally stupid, Stormy, but if I were you I would try to be honest and explain it in terms of what they have seen. Maybe relate it to a childrens story that has "death" in it (ie, bambi's mother dying... at least... i think she did from what I can remember). Tell them that Grandma isn't going to be around anymore... but its not because of something they did or didnt do.

Don't lie. Even at this age, kids can remember (even if subconciously) things like this. I'd rather be allowed to go to my nans funeral rather than be held back because I was too young.

But then again, this is just all my opinion. Do what feels right hun.

:hugs:

I'm so sorry Stormy!
When my pets and granma died, my parents jsut told me when I got home from school. Maybe it wasn't the best way, but it worked.
I think you should be honest with them ,and try to break it to them as gently as possible.

Good luck.

*nods*

While my memory isn't that good, I still don't like it that my parents did not tell me everything that happened to my family. I think most adults underestimate the way children can deal with things.

talk to them calmly and clearly. and do it soon. make sure they don't think grandma will come back (justice thinks dex is coming back because it happened in "brother bear.")

hug them love them, and definately let them say goodbye!

thanks for all of the advice guys [img]smile.gif[/img] I think I am going to get all of the family together including my grandmother, so we can explain what is happening. she goes monday for one last test, and depending on that outcome decides the course she will take, but becuase of her age, and her being tired and pretty much alone now (meaning my grandpa passed away along time ago) I think she is probably just going to live the best she can and let nature take it's course [img]smile.gif[/img] the last test came back saying that it was about 3 cm, but they do not knwo if it has spread or not. so I guess now is the time to find those books and explain death to the kids so they can be prepared for it. thanks again and sorry to ask such a hard question.