It aint no thang. 9 years is a big deal when you are 19 and 10, but 49 and 40 isn't such a big thing.

Thought that i'd jump in from the other end. I'm 33 and my husband, well, he has forbidden me to mention his age here, but lets just say that he is older than I. I like it a lot. He treats me like a queen, and isn't jealous at all. "Better an old man's darling than a young man's slave," my grandmother says. [img]tongue.gif[/img]

[ 02-03-2002: Message edited by: Galadria ]</p>

Usually the guys are older than the women here... in x years or so, as long as the guy is older, women here are up to that... maybe now in my college life I will have someone as old as me or older by months, but that's just it [img]smile.gif[/img] but i wouldn't really care.. the ol, "Iit's all about the love" thing :D

Well, I had a relationship with a man 20 years my senior--and while the age typically didn't bother me much, it bothered him quite a bit. And when it ended, it had nothing to do with age, it had to do with differing expectations, veiled truths and outright lies.

The difference between 40 and 49 may not seem much, but to a woman it *can* be. She may be sexy as all get-out and have a humdinger of a personality, but (and this is much of today's society's fault!!) the mirror reflects a less-than-perfect image. It all plays into this damnable societal thing we Americans (and I assume the rest of the world to varying degrees) have about staying 'young'. Especially if there has been abuse in her past, she *perceives* someone less than perky, smooth skinned, whatever and in her mind equates this as someone who's not eligible or worthy of being attractive to another, esp. if it happens to be a handsome *younger* man who obviously could take his pick from the young 'hotties' with their perky titties and artificially enhanced everythings including skin color.

I'm not saying this is what she thinks, just a possibility. If you like her, like her a lot, then maybe you can get her through this so she can enjoy your presence in her life fully as you seem to enjoy hers in yours.

But then what do I know.........I'm only a woman ;)

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Garnet FalconDance:
Well, I had a relationship with a man 20 years my senior--and while the age typically didn't bother me much, it bothered him quite a bit. And when it ended, it had nothing to do with age, it had to do with differing expectations, veiled truths and outright lies.

The difference between 40 and 49 may not seem much, but to a woman it *can* be. She may be sexy as all get-out and have a humdinger of a personality, but (and this is much of today's society's fault!!) the mirror reflects a less-than-perfect image. It all plays into this damnable societal thing we Americans (and I assume the rest of the world to varying degrees) have about staying 'young'. Especially if there has been abuse in her past, she *perceives* someone less than perky, smooth skinned, whatever and in her mind equates this as someone who's not eligible or worthy of being attractive to another, esp. if it happens to be a handsome *younger* man who obviously could take his pick from the young 'hotties' with their perky titties and artificially enhanced everythings including skin color.

I'm not saying this is what she thinks, just a possibility. If you like her, like her a lot, then maybe you can get her through this so she can enjoy your presence in her life fully as you seem to enjoy hers in yours.

But then what do I know.........I'm only a woman ;) <hr></blockquote>

Umm what you describe there sort of sounds like someone whith a less than normal level of mental toughness...I realize we all see the tv ads showing the ripped abs and muscular guys and the thin and lean women but really, if you let that determine your own self worth.....I dont know..I would feel sorry for someone like that but then I wouldnt be able to respect them too much as an equal. We each have to deal with lifes realities advertising and marketing be damned.

That may sound like Im not sympathetic, but...it is hard for me to understand anyone who has someone paying attention to them not "feeling worthy" or feeling inadaquate due to "image" guess Im just not going to understand.

<font color="cyan">Well, I am 17, and my the beautiful Stacey (who some of you have heard me rant on about before) is 15. In today's society, this has raised a lot of isssues between my friends, and they usually debate whether it is ok or not. But I've been with her for a long time now for me, 11months.

And we still love each other lots, and we have sailed the sea of insults and name calling. So it doesn't matter, we are great together.</font>

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Lavindathar:
<font color="cyan">Well, I am 17, and my the beautiful Stacey (who some of you have heard me rant on about before) is 15. In today's society, this has raised a lot of isssues between my friends, and they usually debate whether it is ok or not. But I've been with her for a long time now for me, 11months.

And we still love each other lots, and we have sailed the sea of insults and name calling. So it doesn't matter, we are great together.</font><hr></blockquote>

Umm where I grew up 17 and 15 was a normal teenage romance..now if you were say 27 and she 15 that would raise some eyebrows.

Hope the people where you live come to their senses because that is not a great difference there. Just don't get caught in inappropriate activities.

49-40 is hardly a big age gap and I wouldnt have thought either of you worried at all about it,

You obviously do though even if you wont admit it publicy, hence the topic was worthy of your posting and subconsciencely askign for approval.......

Personnalities is what's important. My parents have a 24 years difference and they've been happily married for close to 30 years now. If it clicks, the rest will fall in line [img]smile.gif[/img]

For what it's worth, my mother-in-law (61 years old) is living with a guy 15 years younger than her, they have been living together for five years now, and they are very happy together. She is much happier than when she lived with my husband's father, who was not a very nice guy.

Thing is, the one of them who feels defensive about it is the guy, he always seems to think we have reservations, though we do not ...