i personally agree to 250, both mental and phsycical abuse can be very painful http://www.ironworksforum.com/ubb/no...iles/frown.gif http://www.ironworksforum.com/ubb/no...iles/frown.gif as for why our ex girlfirend woudl want to stay with someoen like that...i dont' think any of us can really understand it, it's really how she feels about it...we just make some guesses and assumptions...ppl are weird somethings, or maybe she really loves him and doesn't wnat to leave him, no matter how harshly he's treating her...it happnes somethings...to us it may seem very stupid, but i think she sees it in a totally differnet way...

O.o*cutecotton*o.O

You're right, twofifee. I know so many guys who have been made miserable by mental abuse from their women and I think the mental aspect of such abuse is often underestimated. It often turns out to be far more painful in the long run.


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Later,

http://home-3.12move.nl/~se021070/sig3.gif

I'm a Jerk.
Yep, thats who I am, and I'm this way by choice. I'm not a wife-beater, and I dont abuse my girlfriend (those types come under psycho), I'm just really...a jerk.
I'm not ashamed of who I am, I can be stubborn as hell when I feel like it and I speak my mind without caring who hears me and I can be a real "badboy" (damn I hate that term) when it comes to image, or lifestyle, or opinion and all that.

I guess to a certain point chicks find it attractive, until they think that your image is really what you're made up of, which is mostly untrue. They want nice, stable, normal and honest guys for nice, stable, normal and honest relationships.
I used to think it worked for me (it still does actually), but when it came down to it most girls couldnt handle it because they were mistaken about my true personality (which, admittedly, is not very well potrayed by my image). My image is a part of me, but its not all me. I just like to let the wild, evil, devil-may-care part in me, the part that admittedly treats girls like conquests(they HATE this one), who hates everyone, that sorta thing.
I've always believed that if a girl really loved me, she'd see through it and accept it, so many I havent met the right one yet.
So its both a screen and a beacon..

Did anyone understand this? I was trying to put the other side into perspective, like Ronn_Bman

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No-Name Face

I know not all females are like this, but I have met a good number of them who fit this mold in one way or another. They like the thrill of the chase. Whenever things get to easy for them and they feel like they have you wrapped around their finger, they start to loose interest. That is how these pricks keep them around. They will be super nice for a day or so, then the next day they will be distant and dismissive. For some reason the chicks only remember the good parts in him and they "just know they can help him change". There you go, now they have a project to work on, and they'll stick by them through all kinds of $hit.

Another thought: All you can do is be yourself. Don't try to be a prick or a super nice guy. Just do what comes natural and don't let yourself be forced into anything.

Cutecotton- how old are you? Just curious. I noticed in an earlier post you mentioned you were underage.

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"The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his."
-General George Patton (1885-1945)
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Member of CLAN HADB

[This message has been edited by MILAMBER (edited 10-30-2001).]

Jorath,
Your ex sounds like she has a major self-esteem problem.
That's her problem not yours but anyway, to all of you thinking that girls really want bad boys, let me say that having married a couple of them, there can be found good in everyone. Now a man who will raise his hand at me is not going to get a second chance but the tough guys do have hearts and feelings just like the rest of us.
If they don't have their sh*t together, they get thrown back or at least pointed in the right direction for future reference.
Good guys can be just as psychotic as the ones who portray the bad boy image if not worse!
I've dealt with more mind games and stalker kind of crap from "geeks" than I have from any biker-type's I ever dated!
Bottom line is have your own sh*t together and when you hook up with someone else that does too, life is beautiful. Until then, realize that a lot of people have personal problems and if you can't be friend enough to them to try to help them out, at least say a prayer for them or send good energy their way.
*hugs*


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The best thing about karma is that you create your own.

Pets Need Love Too

IIRC, she is fourteen.


Oh, and I have dated some guys that would fall in the jerk category, but my boyfriend of almost three years is the sweetest, non-aggressive, non-egoistic, caring man I have ever met and I would NEVER want to trade him in for a jerk http://www.ironworksforum.com/ubb/no...iles/smile.gif



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Melusine, Sultry Elflet,
High Queen of Fluffies,
Archbabe of the OHF,
LH, HADB and ORT!
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Your voice is ambrosia
Amy Brown Fantasy Art

Mental or physical abuse.. what the heck is the difference?? It´s abuse right.. none should have to stand up with that whatsoever..
Unfortunatley the truestory isn´t much about what should be, but what is.

I know that there are alot of women looking for jerks, (I call them something completely not tolerated on this board http://www.ironworksforum.com/ubb/no...miles/wink.gif ) and there are some males looking for abusive women aswell..

The world is weird, or is it just us?

I don´t think there is a easy explanation, but there is help to be found and mosst women that receive help to break an abusive relationship is far better off!!!

So say no to abusive ******** and start date the nerds instead women! http://www.ironworksforum.com/ubb/no...miles/wink.gif Hehe..
Poor punchline I know...

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Howling to the moon, cause this world seems so far away..
Wolfgirs lair
once-upon-a-paper

This is by far the best response I think I found in this thread. I never meant for it to be about stereotypes, my point was that there are guys out there rhat beat up women, something that I believe is about as low you can go. I called them jerks because they beat up their women. I know not all guys beat their women, and guy does not have to just look tough so I'll go "look at that guy, he looks like he beats up his wife".
And believe me Moni, if my ex-girlfriend would want anything to do with me (which I don't think she does), I'd do anything to help her out.


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http://www.mmedia.is/~johannaa/jorath.gif

[This message has been edited by Jorath Calar (edited 10-31-2001).]

you cannot help people who do not wish to be helped... but you can encourage them to change, all I need is HOW???!!!!

Jorath

Jorath

Jorath

you must know that people do things for OTHER than the apparent reason, AND people do things to get a payoff. whatever THAT payoff is, in this case, she is getting it because she had no intention of breaking up with his bf

you stay up, your pay off is some extra time to do whatever you want to do
you enjoy physical abuse, I can give you one payoff, but this doesnt apply to everyone

a girl at young age, her parents maybe physically abusing her. and then she was nurtured afterwards, and felt warmth and love. after years of repeatition, she may have an idea that "love is achieved through pain"

this is VERY sick, and sadly true. (oh yeah, this remind me my friend... I got to find a way to help her... ofc, I will never use violence against anyone http://www.ironworksforum.com/ubb/no...es/biggrin.gif and no violent language on women!)

so whatever she is doing, she IS GETTING A PAYOFF
find what that is, and help her.