You have captured the atmosphere and feeling beautifully, Lioness, and draw a very vivid picture. You should certainly continue writing.
I felt at times that the continuity of some things could be improved, but that is all, and you will certainly do that as you gain experience. You have the definite makings of a very talented writer in my opinion. An excellent story and very deserving of the high marks!

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I know the feeling... I began writing fantasy about 1 year ago. Unfortunately, I have only written ~10 pages in that time! I always forget, put it off, etc.! http://www.ironworksforum.com/ubb/no...iles/frown.gif But when I start writing I can't stop!

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Kazara

Sapphire Dragoness of ALSB
Waitress at Cloudy's Cafe

Cool. But sooo very very lonnng.....

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All your base are belong to us! How Are you gentlemen?


Co-owner of The Abyssal Pit
The Spaminyte Emperor
Official Demon/Villain of IW!
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Fish? Welcome to your Doom!
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ROFL!! Some of your recent posts have been quite satisfyingly long, Gwhanos! You'll get the hang of it one day! http://www.ironworksforum.com/ubb/noncgi/smiles/485.gif http://www.ironworksforum.com/ubb/no...miles/hihi.gif

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Lioness, I enjoyed your story! You should write more you seem to have the gift for it! Thank you for posting it-Pauly

Indeed, I loved your story as well Lioness. You have an incredible talent for writing, I am truly impressed! Wow!! Please try to take time out to write more stories, as we would love to read them someday! http://www.ironworksforum.com/ubb/no...iles/smile.gif

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That was a wonderful story Lioness. You are truly gifted and unusually intelligent. Thank you for sharing it with us. Feel free to post anymore you've written.... it's brilliant stuff http://www.ironworksforum.com/ubb/no...iles/smile.gif

Bump!
Who bumped that?? http://www.ironworksforum.com/ubb/no...es/biggrin.gif http://www.ironworksforum.com/ubb/no...es/biggrin.gif

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Thanx!
Thanz you Lady Z. http://www.ironworksforum.com/ubb/no...iles/smile.gif My search went all wrong. http://www.ironworksforum.com/ubb/no...es/biggrin.gif

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Lil' Angel http://www.ironworksforum.com/ubb/no...angelwings.gif
Sword Saint and Enchantress of the HADB Clan
Waitress at Cloudy's Cafe
Bestest Mate of the Cyan Knight
Lady of Jerome, The Fallen Paladin
Honored Friend of the Warrior SSJ4Sephiroth, and the Arch-Mage Jafin

Bugger. It's people like you that make me ashamed of my writing. Especially since you're younger than me. http://www.ironworksforum.com/ubb/no...les/tongue.gif

Hmm, skilled with words, charming, mature.... is there no end to this girls talents? http://www.ironworksforum.com/ubb/no...miles/wink.gif

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Within the jungle of my deepest emotion,
With a coat resplendant in a golden sheen,
Swiftly hunting my tender love,
Stalks the regal, Feline Queen