*snort* [img]graemlins/1drinkspit.gif[/img] ROTFLMAO!!! thats just priceless...

Gee thanks! :D Not all us Irish are a bunch of drunks you know! [img]tongue.gif[/img]

Gee thanks! :D Not all us Irish are a bunch of drunks you know! [img]tongue.gif[/img] </font>[/QUOTE]Damn. And I had liked you all so much. What disappointing news. [img]tongue.gif[/img]

Lube (Grease): Mages are always equipped for romance.
Protection from Elvis: Essential in Vegas.
Detect Divisibility: Instantly know the largest whole number that can divide into a number
Ghoul Lust: Enchanted person sneaks off to the graveyard whilst the party rests...
Pluck: Works only on poultry
Resist Phobia: Useful if you have neurotic party members
Pantomime: Restore use of body language
World Wide Web: Conjure a laptop to check your e-mail.
Detect Delusion: Can be fatal depending on recipient. (e.g. Tiax)
Hold Dead: "Stay right there!"
Melf's Minute Bed Sores
Lobster Summoning I
Protection from Allergies: There's already Protection from Colds...
Otiluke's Less Resilient Egg-Shaped Solid
Remove Cure
Naughty Word
Wizard Pie: Made with real Wizards.
Animate Living
Animate Office Supplies
Reach: Primarily used by Gnomes when shopping at the supermarket
Conjure Hair Elemental
Weeblemind: It wobbles, it falls, but it doesn't stay down!
Protection from Hippies (Acid)
Flesh to Bone: Hmm, I left off a letter somewhere. (Medieval viagra.)
Power Word Appliance: Gain the ability to speak to household gadgets
Tenser's Reformation: Incite revolution at your local Temple District
False Sight: Trick blind people into thinking they can see.
Telemarketer Call: Enchants phonelines
Delayed Blast Flatulence
Mordenkainen's Swordfish
Power Word Hum: Especially effective in libraries.
Khelben's Freudian Slip
Summon "Friend": Conjure Schwimmer, Kudrow, LeBlanc, or one of the other three to occupy your enemies while you escape from horrible monsters. Can only be used six times.
Absolute Regularity: Also known as "Metamucil."
Slavery: Reverse the effects of "Freedom."
Media Swarm
Shapechange: Possible shapes include square, rectangle, triagle, circle, and oval.
Spell Strike: Spells refuse to work until you speak with their union representitive.
Wail of the Pantry: Reminds forgetful mages when they're getting low on food.

And on that note, I'm hungry. [img]smile.gif[/img]

-Lem

Here's a couple i just thought up:
Protection from homework
Chromatic Board: can be used to paint any picture
Intravision: grants the ability to see what you had for lunch
Shocking speach: creates an angry mob who are hostile to the caster. The mob attacks with +3 weapons, and has 400hp
Agannazar's Screacher: instantly deafens everyone in 30' radius
Melf's Massive Muffin: summons a huge muffin, able to feed the party for a week.
Feathered weapon: chose from axe, sword or mace... all with feathers.
Lightning belt: for those masochists (sp) among us
Skull slap: required components include; pissed off wife.
Near sight: caster can only see creatures withing 4cm of himself
Polymorph mother: for those times when you really dont want to mow the lawn!
Remove purse: why rob a bank when you have this spell
Broken Gate: summons a fiend to repair your gate

:laughs his elbows off at everybody and wonders why Alson and Dundee aren't tossing theirs in as well: [img]tongue.gif[/img]

Was eating lunch.

Hold Nature's Call (ever notice the lack of toilets in Amn?)
Lice Storm (works very well against vain targets)
Emotion:Oversentimental (target goes all mushy and wishy-washy)
Greater Malice (for those fights that are too easy/boring)
Call PETA (an ultimate Druidic spell to drive those industrialists mad)
Conjure Telemarketer (level 10 Conjure Demon spell)
Chain Letter (target is compelled to write a silly letter to 5 of his friends)
Protection from Rotten Produce (a classic favourite of Bards)
Grease Lightning (target dances to the tune of Stayin' Alive)
Melf's Poison Pen (for those times when you really feel nasty)
Khelben's Kinky Whip (even Mages have a... *cough* *cough* nightlife) [img]graemlins/hehe.gif[/img]
Tensor's Transformers (for the kid in all of us)

ROTFLMAO [img]graemlins/biglaugh.gif[/img] !!! trust dundee to come up with something like that... :D

LMAO!! Oh man, these are too funny... [img]smile.gif[/img] )

i will try some mine:
Gate- summons a gate.
Prismatic spray- Spray of soap bubbles under the light.
Colour spray-a painter appears out of the air and sprays party members with pink.
Friends-your hand involuntarily tries to shake a hand of an angry and hungry troll, in friendly fashion.
Magic Missle-A heat guided missle appears 5 inches from your face. it will always fly downwards and backwards. Strikes as a +10 weapon with dispel.

[img]smile.gif[/img]