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-   -   Love the kobold, hate the kobold, eat the kobold, make up your mind... (http://www.ironworksforum.com/forum/showthread.php?t=3409)

Sythe 10-11-2003 09:59 AM

Haven't you heard the saying "If you can't beat em join em!" And thats exactly what I'm going to do. I am finnaly revealing the location of my resturant. I'm giving the map for 1000 Gold Pieces. For Dragonshadow and Firestormalpha 5000. I am making a new resturant called "Kobold Delights" Thats right I am moving all the kobolds in the area to have them butchered into food.
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Had you fooled didn't I?

But some things are true.

I am really revealing the location of the resturant with many ogres orcs etc. I am selling a safe route map through The Road of Sharp Teeth for 50 gold. To Firestormalpha and Dragonshadow 25 gold pieces (I know you two really wanna go and wipe that place out) Be warned though. The encampment contains gnolls, orcs, ogres and goblins. They are an army that can pose a threat to Sword Coast. I have made a very foolish mistake in gathering the dangerous races into one place and I did not know what I was thinking when I did so. I suppose some of you are wondering why the change all of a sudden. The races there are purely evil. Living with them and serving them is worse than fighting them. (Not that they give me any trouble in combat.) They spill the blood of innocents to quench their thirst of bloodlust. It is only a matter of time before a leader arises and takes control spreading chaos throughout the land. If adventurers cannot eradicate this threat then I am going have to request the Dukes of Baldurs Gate to do something about it.

HOWEVER this does not include kobolds. They have been pushed around and killed by the the stronger races and I moved them back into my encampment near Spine of the World.

Any adventuring party that does the task of destroying the chaos that I have started would receive 25 percent discount in my new weapons store "Sythe's Weapon Shop." Most of the weapons are magical ones. I have taken most of the weapons from the resturant that I want destroyed but don't worry there is enough weapons there for everyone. Happy Looting Adventurers!

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Sythe

[ 10-11-2003, 10:02 AM: Message edited by: Sythe ]

Firestormalpha 10-11-2003 11:31 AM

Sythe, Had us fooled? Right. Your charisma isn't high enough to form a convincing lie, and you are known to side with kobolds making you even less trust-worthy. In order to prove your loyalty I would have to personally oversee you torching Ko's hidden compound.

DS Let's get it over with. My diviner friend has just found the location. Easy task now.

Zuvio, double check the address on that *package* you sent to the kobolds. It did get there, right? You did remember not to put a return address on it, correct? And You DID shield it against divination did you not? Please, for the sake of humanity and the success of kobold fast food restraunts everywhere say yes. We dwell in the realm of Planescape where wishing makes it so. Unless your name is Sythe. That's because I wish it to be that way. So it is. :D

Zuvio 10-11-2003 12:23 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Firestormalpha:
Sythe, Had us fooled? Right. Your charisma isn't high enough to form a convincing lie, and you are known to side with kobolds making you even less trust-worthy. In order to prove your loyalty I would have to personally oversee you torching Ko's hidden compound.

DS Let's get it over with. My diviner friend has just found the location. Easy task now.

Zuvio, double check the address on that *package* you sent to the kobolds. It did get there, right? You did remember not to put a return address on it, correct? And You DID shield it against divination did you not? Please, for the sake of humanity and the success of kobold fast food restraunts everywhere say yes. We dwell in the realm of Planescape where wishing makes it so. Unless your name is Sythe. That's because I wish it to be that way. So it is. :D

<font color=gold>
Offcourse!! Whadda ya think? I'm no amateur!! Spell immunity: Divination and *no* return adress. A professional wouldn't do it any other way! [img]graemlins/showoff.gif[/img] I even used a special stamp I found lying around in the attic. There was this picture of a building on it, but I couldn't make out what building it was... It had all sorts of black waves running over it.... Oh well....
</font>


"To be continued???....."

Firestormalpha 10-11-2003 02:06 PM

Zuvio, NO!!!!!! [img]graemlins/jawdrop.gif[/img] that stamp was already used and therefor void. [img]graemlins/madhell.gif[/img] Oh well. There goes the post office. Or your mail box depending on the method you used.

I hate to burst the bubble of whoever did the graphics library, but [img]graemlins/monster13.gif[/img] is in fact a harpy, not an eagle. Believe me I know my monsters. :D

[ 10-11-2003, 02:09 PM: Message edited by: Firestormalpha ]

Dragonshadow 10-12-2003 12:12 PM

Okay, weapons check: swords CHECK knives CHECK Flamethrowers... ooh yes. Flamethrowers. Better take three...

Firestormalpha 10-12-2003 12:32 PM

Dragonshadow, flamethrowers? You're thinking too small. I'll call in a napalm air strike from some Red Dragons I conned into oweing me a favor. We'll hide in a bunker deep under baldur's gate in hopes that they won't search for me should they decide we might be a good desert after torching the restraunt. Hmmm on second thought maybe just one dragon. He'd get the job done, and you and I would still be able to handle him if he tried to change sides.

Nah lets go with the low risk method. Flamethrowers and Molotov cocktails. That'll light their fires.

We'll just bring in the [img]graemlins/tomcat.gif[/img] and the [img]graemlins/tank.gif[/img] and have some fun :D


Well whatever method we go with we will watch them burn!! [img]graemlins/firedevil.gif[/img]

Dragonshadow 10-12-2003 12:42 PM

I'm a dragon. That means pretty big flamethrowers! Now, how many can I put you down for?

Zuvio 10-12-2003 05:54 PM

<font color=gold>

* Zuvio casts Power Word:Kill -> Entire Kobold Race
* Entire Kobold Race Dead


* Zuvio packs an Uzi filled with DeathSpellBullets
* RATATAT-TATATATA-TTATATA-TATA=-AT-TATTA-YTATATATATA-AATT
* Infinite death animations arise from the ashes


* Zuvio's GF casts Power Word: Slap-Wake-Up-You-Dolt -> Zuvio
* Zuvio wakes up with a blue eye and goes to school....

</font>

InsaneBane 10-13-2003 06:52 AM

Time to open a market for salted crispy kobold cracklings [img]graemlins/hehe.gif[/img]

(Dinner for one - Just add beer) :D

[img]graemlins/greenbounce.gif[/img]
Insane

Firestormalpha 10-14-2003 01:23 PM

Dragonshadow, have any napalm launchers instead? I consider flamethrowers a little too controlled. I need something that'll make them say, "Holy ----" I'm not sure what would fit into those last four slots though. Most of my victims tend to be dead before they can get that part out. Oh yeah, get Rai over here. You know how it goes, "the more the merrier [img]smile.gif[/img] ."


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